July 24th, 2011 @ 3:06 am
rose did in fact have to have her leg amputated this morning. she had to have her leg removed from right above the knee, down. it hasn’t hit her yet, and i feel so horrible for her. everything is about to change so drastically in her life…
when i got to the hospital with her niece, she was in and out of sleep. she wasn’t really moving around, we made a little bit of small talk. she was running a fever and didn’t feel well, but natalie and i tried to make her laugh a little here and there.
i know it still hasn’t fully hit me yet, and it didn’t even hit me when i saw her in the hospital bed. i think it finally hit me a little bit when she asked the nurses to move her down because her back hurt. they made us leave the room, so natalie and i were right outside of her ICU room with the glass door open. through the drawn curtain, we could hear rose screaming in pain. i seriously fought tears when i heard her crying and screaming out about the pain.
rose has become a motherly, aunt-like figure in my eyes in the last few months. i care for her greatly, and i feel absolutely awful knowing she’s in this horrible pain. and the fact that she’s all alone right now in the hospital also breaks my heart.
the road ahead is going to be so different and difficult for her.
natalie had mentioned that when rose is finally out of the hospital, she’s going to have to move rose up to albany to be with her and roses’s best friend diane.
a few weeks ago we were talking about moving elsewhere because i had mentioned (if i ever had the balls) that i’d love to move to utah, and she had mentioned that she wouldn’t want to live upstate. so that really sucks.
i’ll really miss her.