July 20th, 2011 @ 11:40 pm

i’ve kind of been in this personal rut for a while, and usually when shit starts to really get the better of me, i just take the reigns and hit the refresh button.  since i can’t control most of my surroundings that are affecting me, i will change what i can.  i figured it was time to buy a new domain…  i’ve owned posed-to-death.org since june of 2004, and for two years i kind of fell off of updating it.  i only really started using it again in 2008 and since then, it’s full of a lot of personal turmoil.  break-ups, fights with friends, moving out, being miserable and single, confusion, etc.  i feel like it’s like dirty bathwater or something.

things keep changing around me, but i’m at this awful standstill.  my heart is again is bruised, the company i’ve been working for, for three three years, has dissolved, my best cousin (who is exactly a week younger than me) is pregnant and about to be a mother within the next month, one of my best friends is on the verge of practically being engaged and is moving in with her boyfriend next month, my family sucks, i live in an annoying area of queens – kind of out of the way for most of my friends for daily hangout sessions, etc.

i’m just like…

blahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

i’ve been meaning to get myself a PMA tattoo for a few months now. i want this tattoo somewhere visible, so that i’ll always have that perspective when i need it. maybe a forearm or the side of a wrist.  like life in general, instead of bitching and moaning about my seemingly shitty life on this website, i’ll try to feel positive vibes and not have it polluted with complaints about my personal life. i want to not drive myself crazy or throw pity parties. #F5

so i kind of just wanted a new domain name…  so i purchased this domain after this deftones song. it’s my third domain named after a song, and it’s one of my favorites off of the album “white pony”.