June 21st, 2018 @ 1:06 pm

i am soooooooooooo fucking lazy.  i bought a donny miller skateboard deck about a month ago with no parts.  i honestly really didn’t know wtf i needed to buy, and i didn’t want to get ripped off, so i put off buying anything.  i haven’t hooked up with my friend that i asked to help me build the damn thing, either.  i’m a lazy jerk.  look at how sexy it is, though:

i love donny miller so much.  he always hits the nail right on the head.  that’s actually in a book of his that i own, and to the right of the board is a donny miller tattoo.  yes, i love his art THAT much.  go check him out if you’ve never heard of him.

the only time i’ve ever been on a skateboard was when i was dating my first boyfriend in high school.  i have no idea what made me want to set this goal for myself, but i did, and i really hope i don’t kill myself on it.  i have to get off my buns and get my trucks and wheels and stuff.  i haz failed “go skateboarding day” 2018.  😐

September 18th, 2013 @ 3:56 pm

(without the circle, that was just for the text path and OBV that’s not what the key is going to look like – it’s just a rough sketch.)

what this simple thing is complexly represented by (ready, steady…):

1. this will be donny miller tattoo #2 (one of my favorite artists ♥).
2. F5 (two parts):

a) it’s a computer keyboard button/key — hello, i’m a web developer! i hit that key like 987398379378 times a day to refresh webpages, so i’m hyped that i finally have something that can represent my hobby of the last 16 years, and my career.

b) whenever i have had something drastic/horrible happen in life, i have always felt that you can “hit the refresh button” and just move on so that it doesn’t consume you. it’s totally a shot at a fresh start. yes, i’m mainly referring to breakups…

anyways. my last BIG/long relationship horrible breakup that i had (no really, thanks for still not talking to me, and presumably hating me, asshole. ♥), left me feeling so fucking empty, useless and stressed out. blah blah blah feelings smash blah, i ended up listening to the bouncing souls album “anchors aweigh” a lot, and one song in particular helped me get my perspective into place.

good ol’ apartment 5F…

“destruction leaves an empty space… in emptiness again, i begin to create. feeling good again now, in some new kind of way… feeling good again now.”

totally “refresh”ing, and funny enough, F5 || 5F mirror each other.

and that is that. ♥

July 20th, 2011 @ 11:40 pm

i’ve kind of been in this personal rut for a while, and usually when shit starts to really get the better of me, i just take the reigns and hit the refresh button.  since i can’t control most of my surroundings that are affecting me, i will change what i can.  i figured it was time to buy a new domain…  i’ve owned posed-to-death.org since june of 2004, and for two years i kind of fell off of updating it.  i only really started using it again in 2008 and since then, it’s full of a lot of personal turmoil.  break-ups, fights with friends, moving out, being miserable and single, confusion, etc.  i feel like it’s like dirty bathwater or something.

things keep changing around me, but i’m at this awful standstill.  my heart is again is bruised, the company i’ve been working for, for three three years, has dissolved, my best cousin (who is exactly a week younger than me) is pregnant and about to be a mother within the next month, one of my best friends is on the verge of practically being engaged and is moving in with her boyfriend next month, my family sucks, i live in an annoying area of queens – kind of out of the way for most of my friends for daily hangout sessions, etc.

i’m just like…

blahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

i’ve been meaning to get myself a PMA tattoo for a few months now. i want this tattoo somewhere visible, so that i’ll always have that perspective when i need it. maybe a forearm or the side of a wrist.  like life in general, instead of bitching and moaning about my seemingly shitty life on this website, i’ll try to feel positive vibes and not have it polluted with complaints about my personal life. i want to not drive myself crazy or throw pity parties. #F5

so i kind of just wanted a new domain name…  so i purchased this domain after this deftones song. it’s my third domain named after a song, and it’s one of my favorites off of the album “white pony”.