"i am a weekday on weekends..."
38 years old
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i stopped using this website for multiple years (since october of 2015) because of a selfish/crazy shithead.
maybe you’re new here, maybe you’re not. either way, i missed using it and i’m going to try to use it again.
why was i on hiatus?
i’m going to try to tl;dr this story as best i can with very little detail/specifics, while still avidly exposing this type of disrespectful idiocy.
i want to inspire people to stop this type of behavior.
strangers… friends… DO NOT DO THIS TO PEOPLE.
- lurking is bad
- mind your business
- practice self-control and don’t look at things you shouldn’t be looking at
if you want to be friends with someone interesting that you find online, reach out to them. if you don’t have the nerve to reach out, you don’t stalk them like insane people and then try to play it off like they’re the crazy ones.
this behavior is NOT normal, and NOT okay.
if you’re doing this to someone, leave the person alone.
…seek help if you can’t control yourself.
why i was on hiatus:
back in the myspace days, some girl added me as a friend. i had NO idea who she was, but i saw she was a local and approved her. i just thought she knew me from one of my jobs or something, so i let her follow me. from what i can remember, she never messaged me or commented on my profile or pics or anything. weird shit, but again, i just thought she was a shy customer or something.
about 4 years into the add, one of her friends (that i was mutually friends with) told me she was dating my ex from like, 5 years prior (my ex and i weren’t even on speaking terms). when i found that out, i was SUPER creeped out, and i blocked her on everything. apparently, she “hated” me (??? WTF!), so i figured that was how that should be handled.
4 years after that, they broke up and she “didn’t want me to know”, so i posted something about her on this blog, in a way i knew only she’d react to. i wanted to test her, to see if she was still lurking me. soon after i had posted, she slipped up and emailed me from my contact form. once she did that, i had her job’s IP address and i could see how often she was looking at my website, and what she was looking at. it was enough to start a dossier on her behavior. i legit have files, screenshots and printouts of anything and everything i’ve ever found or come across.
this is a person that i never met IRL.
i never spoke to her on a social basis online, she never reached out to me to be friends from the start of her weird followings, she just followed me. i blocked her and made everything private once i knew the extent of her me-browsing. i felt so slimy and gross because of her actions. what kind of weirdo does this shit? it’s such an awkward invasion of privacy. i don’t care how public this website is or my profiles were, if you know you shouldn’t be looking at my business, you shouldn’t be. no excuse.
let that sink in for a sec…
a stranger was hating on me and talking bad about me to people i knew, obsessing over and stalking me online for eight years.
for some odd reason, girls in my generation seem to feel the need to check out or even lurk their new or current boyfriend’s ex girlfriends (or their ex’s new girlfriends in most cases). i do not for the life of me understand why they need to bothering doing that… i never do that. i guess i’m just more secure than most(?). however in this case, this one was stalking me before she even dated my ex. i think that’s even worse and creepier than just the during.
i spoke to a lawyer and the cops after all of this online shit (and some other annoying shit i’m leaving out – including multiple IP addresses going to multiple other places/addresses) surfaced. they both told me that i could depend on this law, especially with all of the other info/files i have.
my ex told me that after i posted about that law, that she told her mom about me talking to a lawyer and that she was scared (shocker, she was STILLLLLL on my site after the email)… GOOD.
i would seriously love to know what bullshit she even fed her mother (and anyone else that would listen). how embarrassing that must have been, unless it was all lies (probably).
it should be:
“hey mom, this is embarrassing… but i’ve been stalking this girl online for almost a decade, and it finally caught up to me and i’m scared because she got smart about how to handle it and i might be in trouble.”
i guarantee you it was more like:
“she’s his crazy, cheating exgf that always wanted him back, and she’s been stalking me and talks shit about me on her website for no reason. she’s the one who has done things wrong, and she’s harassing me out of nowhere!”
i told my ex i had everything saved and printed in case he felt like giving all of that shit to her mother to set the record straight.
i don’t know what our mutual friends have ever thought about this, as i don’t ask. i have never discussed this person with our mutual friends and changed the topic of convo if she ever came up. i was never interested in entertaining that crap. i honestly feel like even talking about such an embarrassing topic is extremely juvenile. in fact, the mutual friend she probably found me through, stopped talking to me because of her. before all of this happened and we were still friends, she’d sometimes chime in with random “she hates you”, and my response was always “i have no idea why”, and kept the convo moving. i honestly didn’t care, i was more weirded out than anything.
i mean, i guess she saved me from staying friends with someone two-faced, but god knows what lies she fed her in order to get her to that place. :: shrug ::
at the end of the day, i don’t lie. i have never lied about this situation to anyone… and it’s pretty sad if anyone ever believed any bullshit she fed them about me (a stranger that has NEVER spoken a word to her, aside from my response to her IP logged email, saying to get a life and stop following me online).
anyways, the entire point of this page is that i really hope this creeps y’all out as much as it creeped me out, and inspires you to stop lurking people if you do it now… it’s never okay. not for a second, 5 mins, just once, checking up, never.
i’m sure people of this generation really think a casual “i just wanted to see who my ex’s new gf is” or “what my ex is up to” (if you’re no longer speaking) is normal for people, but it’s not okay or normal. social media is ruining privacy boundaries, and it’s extremely harmful and disrespectful. it’s not okay on any level, even glancing for a second.
if you don’t posses that little bit of brains that tells you to stop, and then it snowballs into this type of bullshit.
it’s not normal, it shouldn’t be accepted as “the norm”, and people shouldn’t be doing it… it’s not okay.