#NYR, the 80s, the 90s, going to shows (punk, ska-punk), cycling/modifying my track bike, getting tattoos, spending time with genuine people, making jewelry, watching frasier, visiting filming locations, rad nail art, graffiti (as an observer), dying my hair unnatural colours, ice cold coors light (bottles, plz), graphic design, eargesting music, warm coffee/iced lattes, #NYM, netflix (binging in general), punk stuff, horror, autumn, winter, making t-shirts, watching twin peaks, vinyl toys, bargain shopping, architecture, traveling, making memories, reading, replacing nostalgic relics, philanthropy (whenever possible), wordpress development and coding in general (PHP, XHTML, CSS, SCSS, jQuery)
i’m pretty sure i found jason’s art in hi-fructose magazine… or maybe it was beautiful decay? either way, i was enamored with his art and at some point when i was living in rego park, i decoupaged his grandparents into a halloween scene piece that i was working on. i had read the issue and came back to it later in life, so i had no idea what the back story was. once i went back to the issue, i then googled and found his IG.
@jasonbardyarmosky is an amazing artist and his paintings are insane. i will let his art speak for itself. however, the point of this post is that he is fucking HOT, so i’m showcasing his beauty.
musically, i’ve never been a fan of gaga (the shock value… not about it, either). for no good reason, she just never was my thing. i love her as an actress, though. i also reeeeeeeeally love her as a human. it doesn’t hurt that she too, is also a native new yorker. always a plus in my book.
i was looking at her IG the other day and realized when she’s not covered in 30 lbs of makeup, she’s even more gorgeous. those freckerrrrs, sexy lips, amazing natural brows, flawless skin and a gorgeous face.
i can, but do not want to fork over $245 for a bag (i KNOW, italian leather and silver hardware). i’m too practical for the life of luxurious things that i have a taste for.
i guess i’d rather put my money into traveling, sports games and outings with friends instead. ♥ i have 7936864 bags and need another one like i need a hole in the head.
i could use some more mature looking bags, and of course i find an expensive ones with leopard print hearts, lol. this is as mature as my former obsession with furla candy bags. i had one in my hands at the furla store one day and legit talked myself out of it. i will regret it for life, lol.
i also feel like this is a really shitty first-world post while there’s a war going on elsewhere in the world… i have donated to multiple charities to help ukraine and i enjoy putting my money into philanthropic purpose. i’m not tone deaf, i promise.
i want a top floor, back in central queens (or seattle, of course).
i want a balcony.
if i can’t have a balcony, i want corner windows with trees surrounding them, so all i see is green.
i want to be able to have a queen sized bed with a four-poster bed frame covered in twinkle lights.
i want space.
i want peace and quiet.
i want to inhale a new feeling.
♥ ♥ ♥
i’d also like a cartier love bracelet… a girl can dream, right?
i decided to watch donnie darko today, since it’s been a while. lawwwwwd, a youthful, hairless faced jake gyllenhaal (and he is wearing a punk shirt in image uno, so you know i’m drooling)… yesplz. his lips, that mischievous smirk during most of the movie… woof.
AK was a sexual awakening for me. i got yelled at for calling him hot while watching the under the bridge video when i was like 10, lol. nothing gets me all hot n bothered like a young anthony with honey blonde hair… dear satan. oooooooooooof, yes plz.
i realize that he says it’s only a possibility, and probably a small one, but that reunion is on my freakin live shows bucket list! i remember reading years ago about how jesse said he didn’t want to do it bc the crowd wouldn’t be like at smaller shows they used to play… and i totally get that. i just feel like their cult audience would be HUGE. where/how would they play???
tl;dr: operation ivy was a fuckin RAD band from cali basically invented ska punk (hello, what i listen to 60% of the time), broke up after like two damn years and only ONE official record, but that record was amazing. so amazing that they continue to have a cult followed legacy til this day!
two of the members went on to start a staple band in the punk community (rancid – fortunately for us, sometimes we get to see them play op-ivy songs), and the other two went off on their merry ways without a big spot in the “popular” punk limelight, but still had notable projects. anyways, we little ska-punkers born in the early 80s have only DREAMED of seeing op-ivy live, because well, they broke up before we hit age 10.
now, what i was saying before was that the lead singer said he would only want to perform to a smaller venue-type crowd. well, i don’t see how that’d happen, seeing as that they’ve got so many damn fans at this point – even generations after they were in their hay day… but i hope they can think of something, bc not everyone just wants to SEE op-ivy just to say they did. some of us want to sweat, skank, pit, dance, sing and experience that shit to the fullest (ahem, me and a ton of my friends).
i bet you it would only be west coast, and they’d have to do secret shows. maybe scavenger hunt the hints to them, and you know the god damn internet would ruin it for everyone… it’s so annoying, you know you’d have idiots showing up for multiple shows too. i remember when billie joe was doing his solo or other band shit a few years ago, he was trying to tell people online to not do that so everyone could experience it and STILL people didn’t listen… PEOPLE SUCK. the internet sucks, but i digress.
an op-ivy reunion somehow? my heart would be so full.
years ago, i dated a dude whose brother and best friend were obsessed with glassjaw… i soon also became obsessed with glassjaw, and kept following along with other projects that came about via the extremely talented lead singer, daryl.
one of his musical projects ended up being a band called head automatica. i was fucking THRILLED about this in particular, because this mixed up genre of a band was absolutely right up my alley. i am extremely into new wave/80s/dance/electro anything, so this new band fit right into my repertoire of musical interests. like, so right up my alley that it even featured tim armstrong (a dude from one of my favorite punk bands, rancid) on a pop dance track. what in the actual fuck?! (but it worked…)
i grew up in the 80s and have always loved new wave (especially the weird, left of center shit), i love synthy pop dance stuff, i came into various types of punk on my own and went to raves in the 90s. i feel like head automatica sounded like pieces of all of those things. it’s hard to pinpoint exactly what they sound like. i listen to all different types of music/bands and i don’t even know who to compare HA to. when it came out, i guess you could call it some type of indie pop rock, because it (thankfully) wasn’t main stream enough to be straight up pop music, not that daryl would have allowed that shit anyway… that was a genre we kind of what we kept shoving all types of “myspace bands” and indie into at the time.
so now that i’ve professed my love, i am here to profess my frustration.
i was looking around some archived bookmarks i have in my browser and came across this, which i had forgotten about:
first off: i didn’t take this video – it’s just on youtube… but i was at this show at blender theater, and i did get to witness this IRL and it was glorious. i remember while this was happening, i was instantly like “this is going to be my favorite song off of this new album”, and proceeded to shake my fat ass in the crowd.
secondly: this song, nor the album it’s on were ever released. they were performing songs off of the 3rd album live, soon before they were going to release it. it was named “swan damage”.
i googled what i could about the release of that album, and came across a few things and articles regarding swan damage. tl;dr: daryl wanted his projects off of the label they were on, and unfortunately that also affected the album. he talks about it MAYBE being leaked someday, doesn’t say who or how… just kind of eludes to it. unfortunately though, it seems as if he’s put all of this behind him. as a fan waiting for this stuff, well, that selfishly hurts.
to me, head automatica feels like “well, it’s better to have loved and lost”. like, thank you universe for letting us experience it, but we should just be grateful we had it at all? uh, we could still have swan damage probably/maybe/who knows/i dunno/please just do this one last thing.
i dunno how that’s fair, but still we devoted fans still follow DP’s moves and punish ourselves, lol.
* * *
listen, daryl, you sexy bastid, if you ever see this post… please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please (zing!) release the kraken. swan damage does NOT feel old to the people that have been waiting for years now. we haven’t heard it over and over again. this song above, i don’t know what the actual lyrics are bc it’s a bit fuzzy. i want primo quality… i would like to see this in front of me again, when we can go to shows and dance my ass off. the few swan damage tracks you did play during that era sounded so mature in the HA archive. as aforementioned, HA wasn’t like most bands out there. you did what you wanted. i KNOW who inspires you musically (squeeze, elvis costello, the jam, etc.), and i feel like you were finally applying it to this project. don’t get me wrong, i love “beating heart baby”, and fuck the label for wanting 10 of it… but that wasn’t my favorite track. “the razor”, “laughing at you” and “cannibal girl” are probably my favorites, alongside the song above. i don’t even know what it’s called… but i’m sure the mastered version would have been in my top 3, sir.
* * *
it’s so hard being a fan of daryl’s, bc while he’s a musician, he’s also a CREATIVE human being. he moves fluidly between or onto new projects, and for us greedy fans that want more of something, we get the brunt of it and get impatient. as a glassjaw fan, we had to wait 9 years for new EPs and 15 years for a full album.
on the other side of the token, i actually feel guilty having these feelings. it’s not my business to get pissy about having expectations, i guess. it just sucks that he was just kind of over it, when i felt like he was finding himself in such a great, creative place. i feel like a label and it’s expectations killed this shit for all of us.
as for side projects, house of blow, head automatica, SPORTS, color film (bad saint… i melt. ♥)… they’re all so good! i guess as fans we just have to cherish what we get blessed with by him and just be happy with it.
* * *
i got to meet daryl at an album release party via some rapper i used to know. not only did he perform there that night, but we were all in VIP, so once i was drunk enough to actually utter words to him, i thanked him. it was all i wanted to do, honestly, bc you know that whole “never meet your heroes” expectations thing… i was at a loss for many words, but he was sweet when i said that to him, and i hope he knew how much i actually meant it.
we chit chatted about nonsense i’m sure. at that very moment, i was schlepping vinyl records in milk crates for a mutual connection DJ friend, who had also performed there that night. i remember him thanking me for knowing all the words to the house of blow songs (i’m guessing he saw me in the crowd singing along) and then asked me if he could hug me (obviously i said yes, and i remember that his leather jacket was so damn stiff, that it was hard to get a good one, but i still got one ♥).
anyways, my point is… i don’t know if musicians really understand just how much music touches people, but hopefully when we tell them “thank you”, even if that’s all we can get out of our star struck mouths, they understand what we mean. music has always been a massive part of my life, and while i’m not a very emotional person, music always overwhelms me. it powers me, it helps me, it makes me emotional… music is magical.
to have another chapter of head automatica would be amazing for us fans… just putting it out there. maybe our other mutual connection that works at the shitty label will find a way to um, *cough*leak*cough* release it.
please, when we can have concerts again, i would like this very much at terminal 5:
like, i need to dance for hours to VERY happy, funky music. i don’t think this would ever happen, but to have the trifecta of greatness as i have just listed, would be the biggest synth-pop/house music showgasm of my life.
and universe… please make it happen on a day that doesn’t conflict with any concert that is rescheduled from this the shit show that was 2020.
my bedroom in this apartment is so weird… it’s basically a long room and i don’t have big closets like my last two apartments, so there’s shit everywhere. i just found the box with my posters in it and dug out the misfits “famous monsters” poster. i want to hang it, but there’s basically nowhere to put it. i have an “attic” type bedroom with angled walls to the ceiling, so that’s the only real estate i have left. i mean i guess i could just do that…
anyways, i threw on both graves era albums straight after finding the poster, and now i’m all pissed bc i’ll probably never get to see a reunion with graves. i saw him perform with them one halloween at “the world” in times square, but it wasn’t even a full set. i want both damn albums played in front of me… it’s not fair. i watched and read a few interviews where it’s basically stated that it’s never going to happen, but we can all throw it out into the universe every now and again, i suppose.
ENJOY THIS GOODNESS (unless you’re a corny misfits snob):
so recently, i thought to buy a pair of these jammies… i haven’t purchased a new pair of navy or black ones sinceeeeeeee…. 2005(ish)? they were my raver jams back in the day. they’re super comfy and match with everything and are appropriately named (*classic!*)… but was confused as to their current cost.
i used to buy these at modell’s for $20 because nobody wore/wanted them… i just found them on the reebok website for nearly $60. are they back in style or something?
i can’t wait to see the bouncing souls this year. i neeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeed to get life stress out of my body via being in that crowd, dancing and having a blast.
i haven’t seen them live since august of 2012. what in the fuckery?
OOPS! i lied, i saw them at pier26 over the summer… but it didn’t really count. it was outside, i wasn’t in the pit and i wasn’t paying any attention BECAUSE i was outside. honestly, it felt like they were half-assing it and not really playing for more than 20 mins. it was really weird.
in september of 1981, exactly one week after i was born, my (favorite/bff) cousin marie was born. we have been inseparable all of our lives and spent so much time together over the years, even though she lived/lives in upstate new york. when we were little, we both had this really cute piece of art hanging in our rooms (the image on the left). i kept mine, because i’m a total pack rat, but marie’s is probably long gone. i texted a picture of it to her last night and she wants to try to find one for her daughter.
marie had her baby girl two years ago, and i think that she wants sentimental things like that, just as i would if i didn’t actually have this stuff from over the years. we are very attached to our things and especially our childhood together. i have been googling/etsy searching the hell out of this little piece of art, to no avail. however, i did find some other cute stuff on ebay i might snatch up. mainly some coffee mugs. this line of “dear god” kids stuff is all cute kids stuff focusing on innocent/childlike questions to god.
i think i might want to just scan/print and frame the piece that i have, so that she has the exact one. i hope i can find the actual one, though. 🙂
i think both my mother and my aunt necie (who is like a grandmother to me) had one of these. god knows where it is now, i’m sure my mother either broke it or threw it away… but i can’t find one online ANYWHERE. (etsy, ebay… etc.)
anyone have one? you’d make my dreams come true and my little heart so happy<3
my neighbor rose has one, but refuses to part with it, lol. i may have to hijack it…
sooooooo i went to salt lake city again last week! and on this trip, one of my goals was to hit up most of the filming locations for halloween’s 4, 5, and 6. on my adventures, i found a lot of them, but not all (a post soon to come…). i am totally happy with what i got to see, and once i started posting the images on instagram, i started tag surfing and found amazing halloween 4 t-shirt… it’s michael’s face from the film cover/poster of 4 with jamie dressed in the clown costume.
so of course, as soon as i got the chance to look online for the shirt i did (because i’m great at finding things with keywords and such), and randomly found this shirt, instead…
i grabbed this image out of an old beautiful decay issue (2005?) for collaging purposes and threw it on my old headboard when i lived at my moms house (now it’s on a wall in my apartment, but i couldn’t find a picture of it there…). one of my friends once told me that it was his friends company, and i never thought to ask which one, so i never bought it, and now i can’t find it… i neeeeeeeeeeed it.
also: in search of this shirt, i found a dude on karmaloop modeling this brands other shirts, that looks like a young latino version of johnny depp. LE SWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON. 🙂 [view the dreamboat]
soooooooooo, i never want to grow up… if you know me in real life, you already know that i avoid most adulthood things like the plague, so it’s weird for me thinking about future stuffs (marriage, kids, etc.). i guess turning thirty last year, i guess it’s kind of a wake up call. like, HELLO, idiot, you only have a decade left to get married/have kids so that you’re not a super old weirdo mom. additionally, i’ll prob never live to see my 50th anniversary with my future husband, lol.
i still feel like i’m 21, i still basically look like i’m 21… i don’t know when the feeling is going to officially kick in. read more…