October 18th, 2020 @ 11:44 pm
"i am a weekday on weekends..."
39 years old
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Posts in the "set your goals" category.
August 24th, 2018 @ 12:40 pm
remember how i posted that i got a skateboard a couple of months ago?… well, this summer was too humid and hot to go out and sk8. that sounds dumb because skateboarding was basically born in hot ass SoCal, lol, but personally – after trying to do it 2/3 times in the heat, i decided to put it off for a while. i hate summer heat, it makes me super nauseous and miserable. however, the other day it was like 68° outside and cloudy, so i grabbed my board and went out.
as we do in 2018, i youtube and google searched stuff about and for skateboarding beginners beforehand. i followed boarders on IG and slowly gained confidence. i think what really gave me the oomph was watching alexandria’s video on boarding for 30 days. she made me laugh sooooooo hard, inspired me the most and helped me get realistically ready goal-wise with the help of rachelle vinberg. i watched that video a couple of months ago and even dm’d her on IG thanking her and we chatted it up. she’s super sweet and i told her once i’m comfortable enough on my board, i’m going to harass her into going to a skate park with me, lol (which she agreed to!).
watching all of these videos, i retained certain information, but realized when i was finally out on my board that i did not pay attention AT ALL to stance or footing after pushing (duh, the most basic thing you need to know aside from pushing, lol). luckily for me, my instincts kicked in and i figured it out on my own.
that probably doesn’t seem like an important triumph, but i feel like every little thing you overcome on a board is a triumph.
i remember from the videos i watched, that everyone was basically saying to just set baby goals. even from other videos of pro-skater dudes, they were just like “just push around for hours, days, weeks”. i don’t have the luxury of limitless time as a kid doing it, so now i have to as an adult and it’s not easy. i just want to cruise, not do tricks or anything, but it’s still work to just learn how to do that as second nature.
my first actual triumph was kick turning. i stood on my board and wanted to find balance before i even started pushing, but my first intended goal was to NOT baby push.
i remember there was a girl who used to skateboard around whitestone and she looked like such a vagina bc she just did these tiny little baby pushes the entire time (and didn’t cruise?). i never wanted to be that chick. so my first goal after my first triumph was then to big push.
i sometimes baby push on a start when i hesitate, but if i find myself doing that, i get off the board and start over. i do notice that while i’m rolling after big pushing i’ll sometimes baby push to keep up speed, and i don’t really mind when i do it then? i dunno why.
anyways, once i started pushing a little more naturally, i thought there was something wrong with me as to why i wasn’t able to just get my feet into position quickly enough to cruise. i was working blindly, alone and youtubeless… but then i realized that i could gain my balance and cruise after simply putting my back foot on the board and then turning my front foot right after, lol. again, this is blaring common sense and a DUMB little triumph, but still a triumph.
i think when you go out with such confidence, it’s frustrating that it doesn’t just instantly click on how to skateboard. it’s not like learning to ride a bike. i mean i don’t remember learning to ride a two wheeler that clearly, but it’s definitely different and less difficult.
being that skateboarding is a big part of my subculture, i’ve always been a little envious watching my dude friends just throw a board down and go. when you watch people that just know how, you feel like they were born doing it, like they’re natural pros. i just figured after like two times i’d have it figured out, but it’s something you have to work on.
i also kept in mind that i would fall. i think going in with confidence, your goal is NOT to fall… i found myself thinking that way while i started, but that’s stupid. you are going to fall and it’s normal and okay to. i got over it and i scraped up my knee and did two split falls on my first session and didn’t feel stupid. in the end, that left me with more confidence to just keep going.
August 24th, 2018 @ 10:50 am
I FINALLY SAW SPARTAAAAAAAAAAA!!!1
i’m so glad i finally got to cross them off of my bucket list. if you don’t know who they are (as i did not), apparently these dudes (or some of these dudes over time) were in a band called “at the drive-in”. i didn’t really research too much bc i don’t care, honestly. as soon as i saw that the lead singer was the dude from the mars volta, i was all “YUP that explains why i never bothered”. i haaaaaaaate that dude’s voice. so where a door closes, a window opens – and i love hearing jim ward’s voice spilling out of it. much bettah!
i don’t know how i never heard of them before, but i guess it’s bc i really don’t give a shit about music genres the same way i do punk… i love a lot of post-hardcore, but i never really explore other PHxC bands just because i like some or even a lot of bands.
♥ ♥ ♥
picture it, salt lake city, 2011… an attractive peasant girl is falling asleep while getting a time consuming tattoo done. relaxing music was playing in the parlor… she comes to find out after being woken up by her tattoo artist (lol), that the soothing, melodic music was a band called “sparta”, and an album titled “porcelain”. she instantly fell in love and never looked back.
♥ ♥ ♥
unfortunately for me, i came across sparta during their own nap that they fell into as easily as i did on that tattoo table. they had taken a hiatus 3 years prior to that day, so i had to wait all of these years for them to wake up and play. it was worth the wait… i am so glad to see them in such a small venue (bowery ballroom). they also played my favorite song, which made my cold, tiny heart swell.
actual footage of me at the show:
jim also asked all of us to, if possible, to donate to his friend running for senate. i’m assuming you being here are probably like-minded to me (COUGHCOUGHFUCKTRUMP AND COUGHCOUGHFUCKREPBLICANS AND COUGHCOUGHFUCKCONSERVATIVES), so i figured it’d be a good idea to post it here. we need more progressive minds running the show, so show your support if you can.
July 27th, 2018 @ 6:00 pm
i got an invite from ladies love project to take part in a pop-up shop next weekend, but it fell through due to family illness or something with the curator. i was kinda hyped bc i always love doing LLP pop-up shops – i meet awesome people there, drink & eat the best goods and make a nice lil bit o $$$. it also would have motivated me, as i’ve kinda fallen off the jewelry thang. i mean, i make stuff here and there, but i really need to photograph/edit and add to the site. i’ve been so lazy in this apartment bc i can’t fully unpack all of my supplies. i just have no damn room.
anyways, if you’re feeling shoppy, check out UNRULEDclub. maybe i’ll add some new shit this weekend. 🙂
July 1st, 2018 @ 12:37 pm
so i’m re-watching shameless, and it’s making me miss chicago something fierce. i mean, i’ve only been there once… calm down, jess. though when my sister and i were there, her friend had work, so we fended for ourselves and explored. we weren’t stuck just doing touristy stuff.
i loved it there… i felt like it was home, plus the extra beauty of lake michigan. i just instantly fell in love. if life ever changes and i’m single again, i’m out there with the quickness. i know i’m a preachy and proud queens chick, but my city has been taken over by a bunch of lame-o hipsters and greedy real estate developers and landlords. there’s no saving it in my lifetime… i’m over it.
June 27th, 2018 @ 8:16 pm
i don’t subscribe to that new years resolution nonsense. i try to pretend the day doesn’t even exist, tbh. i’ve always LOATHED new years bc it depresses me horribly. anyways, i’m halfway through the year and seeing what’s happened and what i need to do. these are the days i try to reflect… the summer days that make me want to die. summer is the fucking worst thing ever, so i’m currently in air conditioning pondering life.
these are/were the things i wanted to accomplish this year:
get a skateboard
- go on vacation
- get a new job (thanks, universe… for taking my stable one away and forcing me to be motivated?)
- pay off my credit card
- pay off old tax bill
- grow my hair down to my waist again
grow my bangs out and leave them for the summer(LOOOOOL, i have but i give it til mid-august before i chop em again)
- lose 20 lbs (down 5/7 depending on the day/bloat, squeeeee?)
- have the balls to dye my hair all black again – maybe if i actually grow it out again i will
- work on UNRULEDclub more/again – FIND A NEW POP-UP SHOP TO BE A PART OF
- see more friends
- remove my fallopian tubes
- go back to the pacific northwest and/or chicago
- new tattoo(s)
switching over to arctic fox dyes
- buy or have a bat hoodie made (i almost did last year… sigh)
slowly but surely… 🙂
June 21st, 2018 @ 1:06 pm
i am soooooooooooo fucking lazy. i bought a donny miller skateboard deck about a month ago with no parts. i honestly really didn’t know wtf i needed to buy, and i didn’t want to get ripped off, so i put off buying anything. i haven’t hooked up with my friend that i asked to help me build the damn thing, either. i’m a lazy jerk. look at how sexy it is, though:
i love donny miller so much. he always hits the nail right on the head. that’s actually in a book of his that i own, and to the right of the board is a donny miller tattoo. yes, i love his art THAT much. go check him out if you’ve never heard of him.
the only time i’ve ever been on a skateboard was when i was dating my first boyfriend in high school. i have no idea what made me want to set this goal for myself, but i did, and i really hope i don’t kill myself on it. i have to get off my buns and get my trucks and wheels and stuff. i haz failed “go skateboarding day” 2018. 😐
April 14th, 2018 @ 12:59 pm
i get to cross off another goal concert this yeeeeeeearrrrrrrrrr! SPARTA REUNITED AND IS PLAYING BOWERY BALLROOM THIS SUMMER AND I GOT TWO TICKETSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS.
i am so fucking excited.
October 19th, 2015 @ 4:42 pm
oh dear god, i need to park my fat italian ass in one of these so badly…
September 15th, 2015 @ 3:54 pm
i’ve been toying with the idea of a new york rangers tattoo for quite some time now… i never know what to get, though. i definitely would want it integrated with autumn, whatever i decide on. i’ve toyed with the idea of autumn leaves in the shape of a laurel wreath, traditional style, liberty logo, something with MSG (outside or the ceiling), something with a “30” incorporated… i don’t want the shield because it’s got too much white in it, no one ever gets the blue correct, and i hate negative space in tattoos. what it always boils down to is the liberty logo or generally the statue of liberty (wearing a jersey?).
i started re-watching daria again last week, and at the end of every episode there are alter egos to the left of the running credits. lo and behold, jane as the statue of liberty popped up, and an idea was born (left). it might need some tweaking (and the addition of daria), but it’s a start.
and speaking of daria fandom, can we just talk about my SWEET photoshop skills circa 1997…
October 13th, 2014 @ 4:01 pm
(lmao… i look like a squished barbie in the panoramic picture that rob took.)
last year, one of my instagrammy friends had gone to visit the old TWA flight center at JFK (it’s not been a functioning terminal since 2001). i had missed it, and set a goal to go this year. there were talks of it become a hotel, but i don’t know how true it is. either way, i didn’t want to chance it. if in case this was the last year, i wanted in on it.
i’ve always been super into architecture and modernism when it comes to decor style, so this was right where i wanted to be. i wish i could see it fully restored, but i’m glad i got to experience it either way. the ground floor lounges/bars were amazing and reminded me so much of Kubrick’s visual style. i wanted to move my life into there and never leave.
i went with rob (yes, he has again reappeared in my life since our fight in late may). something keeps drawing us back to each other, i’m guessing this time around it’s friendship (i didn’t want to romanticize it). it’s very weird timing, because i kept recently having random dreams of him and even feeling like i was going to run into him or something. last friday, i had a dream about him, and that very morning he emailed me. soooo weird.
anyways, we had a nice day… we did the TWA tour, and then went to smorgasburg before watching the ranger game at night.
i forgot what it’s like to just have fun with him, since i got so immersed in the bullshit when we were “dating“.
being just friends could possibly work… 🙂
October 13th, 2014 @ 3:57 pm
if everyone knew even half the shit that goes on, woof.
…but i shall try.
July 19th, 2014 @ 1:16 pm
i have always been a (neurotic) virgo and always backed up certain things on my computer at all times… apparently, my bookmarks are one of them. i was looking for something in my bookmarks about an hour ago, and i came across a folder that said “From Internet Explorer”. i sifted through the folders, and i think i must have organized a lot of them into my current browser. there aren’t that many still lingering, but one of them was a folder of my friend’s online journals. going through them was very nostalgic, funny and sad all at the same time (they’re journals, duh).
the first one i came across was my exgf caryn’s. i don’t know if we were even really speaking at the time that she had it (2004ish)… i had broken up with her (a million times, 😐 sigh) and dated jeff right afterwards. jeff and i had dated for almost 4 years, and that’s when her journal existed. some things didn’t seem familiar to me, like one of her exgf’s, and when she started hanging out with this one girl meg… i hate that there were times that weren’t good between us, aside from being my ex, she’s been a good friend and in my life for a very long time.
when i was reading through her journal a little bit, i was laughing because there were so many of those surveys that we used to take back in the AOL days. like your full name, fave colour, things about your current bf/gf, future kids names, favorite bands, etc. – those were fun. i remember in the AOL raver reply all list surveys, we used to do them all in different colours and add 1-line ascii art to them… so good.
back when i had my first website, that shit was so beyond invasive. i don’t know who reads this now, but i still get a decent amount of hits (:::blinks:::), but back then, it was dramarama bitches that i hated skimming my posts. i couldn’t always say what i wanted bc it would spark an uproar between friends, or for myself. so corny.
caryn, along with other friends that used to have journals, just wrote WHATEVER. which goes back to the post i had the other day (or was it over a week…? lazy blogger)… i was talking about consistent blogging, and not to totally repeat myself (which i feel that i often do, especially while complaining about being a lazy blogger) but i want to try to keep up with posting. if anything ever happened to me, it’d be amusing for the ones i love to go through this, i’m sure. i used to get lost in ryan’s journal after he died, so i imagine someone would want to go through mine.
i feel like twitter/instagram make me lazy and not post here, tbh.
July 5th, 2013 @ 2:16 am
soooooooooooo i was deep into tag surfing #neckface on instagram one day, when i came across the most magical tattoo artist EVARRRR lauren winzer ♥♥♥
of course when i found her, and wanted to book her ASAPPPP, i realized quickly that she was based in australia 🙁 so i asked her when she’d be back, and she told me june 2013. that was like a year or so ago, so i waited and waited and kept my love for her a selfish secret! i thought since i hadn’t heard of her before, that not a lot of ppl knew about her, and that i could probably score an appointment from her while she visited next… then i realized she was a hit on tumblr, so i thought i had to keep her even more of a secret 😡 if i couldn’t get an appointment with her, i’d simply just DIE! (jk, but seriously, i wanted one soooooooo baddddddly!)
one day a few months ago, my favorite blogger lovie pie sheena had posted about LW… and i almost had a heart attack. i made her take down the post ASAP, lol. as soon as i knew LW was booking appointments for NYC, i hollered at sheebs. we dun did it last week ♥♥♥ 😀
i got oscy on my right leg! bzzzzzzzzz
sheebs got an amazing all seeing eye/pyramid.
i can’t wait until she comes back! we had a blast with her, she was funny and sweet 🙂 not that i expected any less!
March 21st, 2013 @ 12:48 pm
at the beginning of this year, i started making earrings with lyrics/words/quotes on them… obviously i can’t fit all that inspires me on 3″ diameter hoop earrings, so i took to the t-shirt template. i have been compiling ideas for new york ranger fan shirts for like 2/3 years that i never put to use, so a couple of weeks ago, i just opened photoshop and went with it. i currently go through a website “redbubble(.com)” because i don’t exactly know if the t-shirt business would even take off – t-shirt companies are a dime a dozen these days… either way, i am not trying to step on anyone’s toes – i want to have fun/hitting close to home/true-fan shirts, and this is just my way of paying homage through something that i love – graphic design.
ANYWAYS… i met michelle via instagram at some point in the last few months and we connected on the wu-tang front. i make earrings and she does (amazing) cross-stitch pieces paying wu-tang homage. she’s been on the wu-tang blog before, she’s no stranger to wu-exposure and she included me in my first batch of wu-tang shirts. yeah, i’m actually being featured on the wu-tang blog, insane.
October 17th, 2012 @ 11:53 am
hey guys! sooooooo i’ve totally been ignoring my website (again, wth? i dunno…), but this time, it’s because of good reasons! aside from traveling and working full-time again, i’ve been crafting my butt off for jaejess. that hard work is paying off this year alone, no matter what the future of jaejess holds… getting to be a part of the ladies love project holiday pop-up shop this year, was a goal i was silently setting for myself, and we’re here – we made it. most of all, it’s so that we have a good time/meet great/new peoples.
basically, the LLP gals rent out a space and have a bunch of super rad vendors that craft amazing stuff. i’ve met a lot of cool people whenever i’ve been there to help support jes of toughlovenyc.
i’m extremely humble when it comes time to jaejess, i didn’t even think i’d sell as much as i have, so far. i don’t think jae and i market ourselves nearly as much as we should, but we’re a pair of busy ladies. so far, we’ve only really used our instagram accounts, twitter and i’ve been using pinterest here and there. to be able to bring my stuff somewhere to expose it to a bunch of new/different people is great (which is why i guess i’m so damn excited, lol).
that being said, if you’re going to be in the NYC area on november 17th, pretty please stop by the pop-up shop on the LES and say hi/shop/chill/browse others, etc.
i’ll have some pop-up shop exclusive earrings and the new headbands on hand, and it’d be great to meet you!
184 eldridge st. // 12-7PM
October 12th, 2012 @ 7:24 pm
SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO i’m a HUGE fan of the halloween movie series… my mother got my sister and i into these movies from when i was like seven. like, i know every word/sound/whatevers going to happen next… and i know most of the film useless trivia as most halloween fans do, which is why i was surprised when i had no idea that 4, 5 and 6 were all filmed in salt lake city… AND JUST BLOCKS AWAY FROM WHERE I STAY EVERY TIME I VISIT…
i got so. fucking. hyped. when i realized i knew where most of these places are located in reference to landmarks i set for myself, every time that i’m there.
so as soon as i found this out, i started compiling a list of all of these halloween filming location places that i wanted bee to take me while i was there… and she made my little horror nerd dreams come true. (luhh you grrrl<3)
here’s a quick halloween 4 rundown, in case you’ve never seen it: michael myers wakes from a coma, goes back to haddonfield to go after his neice jamie (jamie lee curtis’s daughter) after she’d been adopted by the carruthers family (script says jamie lee curtis’s character, laurie (his sister) was killed). rachel carruthers is the teenage daughter and a main character in the movie. that’s all i’ll say if you haven’t seen it…
annddddddddddddddd :begin horror nerd excitement post:
June 12th, 2012 @ 11:27 pm
the other night, i decided to throw on halloween I and II. it’s been ages, and sometimes i just need it. when i was a kid, my mother always had the halloween movies on, and my sister and i loved them. we must have watched them 93879847947 times. in fact, i’m sure if you got us together in one room, between quotes from young frankenstein, the wedding singer, overboard, drop dead fred and halloween, you would want to shoot us. we’re ridiculous.
back to the point of the post… so i was looking at wikipedia info about the movie and its filming locations. i had remembered that the first two were filmed in california, but i wasn’t sure about 4, 5, and 6. so i googled it and found out that it was filmed on location in salt lake city. the more i googled address’s, the more astonished that i became. three of the main houses used in the film are literally blocks away from one of my best friends houses! …where i stay, every time i’m there! i couldn’t believe it.
March 31st, 2012 @ 1:39 am
while this mega millions amount kept climbing and climbing, of course i was playing. you gotta be in it to win it, so they say.
i had mike and i buying $5 quick picks, lol. i didn’t think going overboard was going to up the chances especially since we wouldn’t buy over $20 at most… i figured if i were fated to win the lottery, i’d have to deal with the $5 draw of luck. which obviously didn’t prove in my favor since i didn’t win diddly squat.
if i did in fact win, i think these would be the first ten things that i’d do.
1. gather up family/friends for vacation. decide on a warm, mexican vacation exactly what would be done in the near future with my winnings.
2. pay off all of my family’s debts and my own (which are like, nothing, thankfully. i honestly only think that i owe time warner cable like $30, lol.).
3. build a house. not buy… build. and house my family on the same land if they wanted… i’d totally build a compound.
4. buy a photobooth for my home, install display walls with wallpaper that are controlled by computer, have tube slides built in throughout the house.
5. get my teeth fixed up – in desperate need of invisalign for my bottom teefs :\
6. LASER REMOVAL OF ALL HAIR BELOW MY NECK.
7. donate money to charity, and select friends.
8. buy an amazing apt in the city.
9. save/invest money.
i guess it was kind of hard to figure out what i’d really want to do if i did actually have that money. i got super out-of-ideas towards #8. i would say i’d keep working and be an average shmoe… but i mean, i’m not even working full-time at the moment, lol. i would totally start-up the web development company i’ve always dreamed of for myself if i could. i would totally still work on websites for fun!
what would you do?
January 19th, 2012 @ 1:56 am
i’m too lazy to post, i don’t have a facebook or a google+, and i sort of fell off of twitter. the only thing i ever really do anymore is instagram. LAZY BETCH…
whatever, i keep meeting rad people on it and it’s the only social media i really use anymore…
i have been super busy freelancing, trying to stay above water as well. need rent monies and me and kitty need to eat!
so work first > my own website later, i guess. although, i do find it important to work on this because it keeps my creative juices flowing… dur dur dur.
AKA NEW HEADER BECAUSE THE OTHER ONE WAS MAKING ME NAUSEOUS!
as far as work goes, i’m gonna take over 2012 projects now, i have a bunch of friends websites i need to start. now that i’m getting projects out of the way, i’ll post about them as they get launched.
the amazingly talented homie jae (aka the cutest mommy in the whole entire world) and i, are going to start a site for the jewelry that we’ve been making. other than that, i have to start working on my friends hair styling site, and i’ve got my friend kelly who is a tattoo artist coming up very shortly soon as well.
anyways, blah blah blah. i shall now end my apologetic “i never post, i’ll try to start again” post now.
September 13th, 2011 @ 1:16 am
sorry i’ve been neglecting this website AGAIN… what a fucker i am.
september has finally rolled back around, which means my birthday is coming upppppppp! (next week) – ugh, 30! #barf (apparently i’m STILL not handling it well) and that leaves changing will be just around the corner<333
anyways, i’ve got a lot to be happy about lately, which is why i guess i haven’t really been updating… aside from having another great vacation in salt lake, i’m feeling greatly inspired lately. i’ve been reading again, i downloaded a shit ton of new music that i’ve replaced or haven’t had before, i’ve obtained an amazingly sweet & sexy boyfrannn, i’ve got new clothes/shoes (refreshing), i chopped off all of my dead/dry hair (over eight inches!) and ryan callahan is the new captain of the ny rangers!
SO, aside from having a wonky work life, everything is feeling good lately.
in fact, so much that i’ve been doing a lot of thinking. mostly about people that i’ve cut out of my life, and i’d like to let that shit go. i’m getting older, and it’s nothing but bad energy. unfortunately for me, some of the people i’ve cut out of my life still talk to people that i haven’t. so it’s not like they’re never not in my life somehow, which kind of sucks. at any rate, i’m huge on perspective and i really think i need to write down who i can’t stand, and why. maybe i’m being irrational on some levels (although i doubt it), but if i can’t get them fully out of my life, maybe i should face what it is that i can’t stand about them to make sure that i’m handling it correctly. i just have zero patience for shitty people and the few people that are coming to mind i just shake my head at.
while i’m feeling this good, i want to tackle a bunch of things that bother me. this year already, i’ve conquered three/four important goals and i just want to keep it going.
i didn’t get a new tattoo in utah this time, and i’ve got the itch. i’ve gotta stop by three kings to make an appointment for my next idea: hockey sticks combined with autumn leaves in the shape of a laurel wreath. #fredperryinspired #UNF