June 9th, 2022 @ 9:59 am

okay, i am going through a smol crisis.  i have hit the age where i’m like “am i too old to own sanrio stuff?”, lol.  i’ve been questioning most of my overly colorful/juvenile and horror themed choice of decor.

first off, i can’t believe i’m 40… it’s disgusting, but like… i’m going to be 50 in 10 years.  am i just cringe at this point?  do people think i’m a weirdo?  i’ve always been so confident in the things i enjoy and how i look, but recently i’ve been feeling like maybe it’s all childish and weird?  i fucking hate it and i don’t know why i’m letting it get to me so much.

looking around my room makes me happy.  there’s fun, colorful stuff everywhere.  from my furniture to hanging art, there’s also a mix of a bunch of toys and lots of kitschy and/or plastic stuff…  maybe i should just leave it at that, it makes me happy.

anyways, what brought this post on was freakin baggu releasing a hello kitty and friends line!

everything is really cute, but i didn’t impulse shop.  i have so many baggu bags to begin with – i really don’t need anymore… but if the print is cute enough, i’ll snag it.  i was eyeballing the HK lunch bag, but then i realized that my food containers wouldn’t even fit or sit in it properly.  i ended up only purchasing the standard size little twin stars bag.  first off, little twin stars is one of my faves, but i loved the colorway the most out of the other items.

after looking through the entire line, i realized i disliked the colors of everything, for myself.   i think the orange background on the hello kitty items is really cute, but i personally don’t gravitate to orange stuff.  i don’t own many items of clothing that are orange.  funny enough, one of my favorite everyday use items that IS orange is a baggu fanny pack…? lol :shrug:

the keroppi bag is this gross yellow… i would just never use it.  the socks are cute but i wouldn’t wear them.  i don’t need another laptop sleeve, so that only left two purse-type bags.  one was a salmon-y pink with a pattern of HK’s head and the other was a pea green keroppi bag.  the pea green purse was a better color choice than the other yellow that’s on the standard bag, but that shit kicked in where i was like “okay, am i going to look like a cringe 40 year old using this?”

also: i rarely use bags since pandemic happened, if we’re being honest.  i use fanny packs, this smol ikea bag (this is one of the handiest things i’ve ever purchased, lol.  this is especially amazing for concerts or sports arenas.  you can skip the bag line and carry next to nothing!) or i just shove my wallet cards into my pocket.

listen, even though i decided not to purchase a bunch of items from this line, doesn’t mean you shouldn’t!  the items are absolutely adorbs, soooooo go check it out!

June 8th, 2022 @ 3:35 pm

one of my faves, he always hits it on the head.

 
 

May 26th, 2022 @ 8:48 am

some girls want diamonds, purses, shoes w red bottoms…

…i just want game 6 tickets to NYR playoff games.

♥ aren’t i worth it? ♥

March 18th, 2022 @ 11:43 am

…but i would like this bag:

i can, but do not want to fork over $245 for a bag (i KNOW, italian leather and silver hardware). i’m too practical for the life of luxurious things that i have a taste for.

i guess i’d rather put my money into traveling, sports games and outings with friends instead. ♥  i have 7936864 bags and need another one like i need a hole in the head.

i could use some more mature looking bags, and of course i find an expensive ones with leopard print hearts, lol.  this is as mature as my former obsession with furla candy bags.  i had one in my hands at the furla store one day and legit talked myself out of it.  i will regret it for life, lol.

i also feel like this is a really shitty first-world post while there’s a war going on elsewhere in the world…  i have donated to multiple charities to help ukraine and i enjoy putting my money into philanthropic purpose.  i’m not tone deaf, i promise.

October 28th, 2020 @ 5:32 pm

so in my last post, i mentioned watching the richard bey show (which was mainly known for crazy jerry springer-type topics/antics). i did a search on youtube to see if i could find old episodes, and this popped up. a serious topic vs the usually sleazy stuff… it was about skinheads. the episode started with skins that ARE NOT racist, trying to prove to people not well versed in the subculture, that the majority are not the hateful shitheads typically portrayed by the media.

i am sitting here with my eyes bulging as much as i do on a regular basis, watching the GOP lie through their teeth on tv nowadays… mid-show, they bring in one of the bad types of skins. the entire episode at the start was a group of spirit of 69 skins – more ska punks than anything. i mean, they have some questionable viewpoints, but for the most part, they were decent people. i wonder what year this was from, i’m assuming it’s the late 80s, but holy shit, not much has changed from the shit coming out of the racist one’s mouth.

when the shithead enters the picture (@ 18:00), he is already spewing untrue, annoying bullshit about abraham lincoln and making excuses for having a swastika tattood on his arm (which was “in no way related to hitler”… yeah, okay, buddy). my favorite part was after he started mentioning the honest abe schpeel, he goes on to call himself:

A HISTORICAL REVISIONIST!

he says he used to read history from his encyclopedia britannica but then started reading from underground presses, and so now he knows better.

lmao, sure jan.

he then called abe lincoln a white supremacist… yep.

he also went on to say that skinheads are majority anti-white that cause the problems (while he’s also wearing a confederate flag on his arm?).

the racist asshole skin goes on to preach that white vs black power is just that you have to look out for your own race and that’s it. that he’s not against black power… just they have to only worry about themselves.

that is one of the most un-american things i’ve ever heard.

one of the skins at the top of the show went on to say this after an audience member was asking why the racist shithead was being attacked for his feelings:

“the way i feel about this – and you notice i’m not arguing because this is america – it is a free country and everybody has the right to believe in what they want… he has as much right to believe in what he wants, as i have to believe in what i want. i am not going to sit here and call him any names, because that’s his view. it’s only when somebody takes those views and pushes them on somebody else and alienates their right – takes away their right to have their freedom… that’s when it’s wrong.” – marcus of SHARP

THANK YOU, MARCUS. i have said this over and over again the last decade and in lots of posts on this website. this is my stance on why republicans, conservatives especially, are the fucking devil. case in point: here.

the hardcore kids at the end solidified the program. it’s so crazy, that decades later that this is still so relevant… and we’re still so stuck. when i was growing up, i’m sure i would have watched this and not have any idea wtf they’re talking about… but here i am, age 39 and this is so important AND i turned out to be one of those people.

i have NEVER called myself a skin – i really don’t go around calling myself a “punk” either, but i’ve been way into punk since i was a teenager, it’s been my social life since then, i have plenty of punk friends from the scene over the years and obviously stand by the values they support. even though i’m not a skin, it’s part of my subculture. just like that chick at the end said – america is a melting pot. well, so are punks. we’re all on the same team (aside from the racist or annoying straight edge kids) and about equality. this is why i love this subculture. the punks hang with the skins, the ska kids, the hardcore kids, the metal kids, etc. – all of us weird or bullied or rock kids all stuck together, and for the most part, we’re still there.

October 15th, 2020 @ 5:33 pm

posted on : april 2nd, 2OO2 – at 3:41 a

i am SO tired :[ i want to just crawl into bed but i have things to do. i also feel inspired to redo this sites layout and organize the pages better but ahhhhhhh i want to sleep more!

so i went out with grandma and mommy today for lunch! it was so nice seeing them getting along so well :] it was also groovy finding out my father is sOoOoOo excited to meet me!! 😀 i mean i knew he must have been a bit on the excited side but my grandma says he’s been calling her everyday to find out if we’ve spoken and stuff. it’s so cute :] – he’s coming down this weekend POSSIBLY with my younger brother chris, 17. lol :] i can’t waitttttttt i hope the week goes fast!! – hee hee today grandma bought me these beautiful shirts not even knowing what i really dress like. whenever we talk about my “style” or whatever i try to tell her what UFO’s are but she doesn’t know what a raver looks like nevermind their pants lol. anyway i think it’s so cool that she got me these shirts cuz they’re girly but i actually like them. anytime people buy me clothes without me being there i usually wind up not liking them cuz they’re not my style but i really like these. she’s got good taste :]

hee hee at my video store the other day a woman overheard the story of how i just found my family all over again and she said i was inspiring and it was an amazing story – she was nice :] – people who came into the store on Easter sunday however, aren’t. lol. i was leaving my house when my family was just arriving. it was depressing :[ – i can’t believe that we’re open on holidays. it’s so sad.

so now that i got my credit card back i’ve been a shopaholic online. i bought “valley girl” on vhs (uck i wish it was on dvd) for $21. i was looking at other places that were trying to charge $90 because i think it’s out of print. – if you don’t know what movie i’m talking about SHAME ON YOU! – it’s one of the greatest cheeziest 80’s movies and i’m pretty sure it’s nicolas cage’s first movie. he was a hot punker in the movie. i wanna eat him up :] – i also bought some people some presents that should be arriving soon 😀 i hope you guys likes <33

everyone go download – modern english – i’ll stop the world – it’s valley girl’s theme song pretty much and it’s such a great song :]~ – i wish i was a teenager in the eighties :”[

i put my labret back in, as you can see in the picture to the right. but probably temporarily. mommy hates it being in my face. i luff it though. poor carlo lost his “spike” :[ – he lost a piercing and i re-gained mine. damn labret hole never shuts. haha – UGH! * GOODNiGHT!!

October 15th, 2020 @ 5:21 pm

i hate the color red.
i hate red hair.
i hate hot pink hair…

unsure how i got there… but it’s now back to purple/blue, lol.  it was a good month-long run. #neveragain

October 13th, 2020 @ 4:56 pm

i treated myself to the most perfect little vase this year, for my birthday.  all i’ve wanted to put inside of it (because it’s small), are marigolds.  i can’t find any in home depot, in florists around here… etc.  i’m getting so annoyed.

it’s the perf autumn flower, and a wonderfully nostalgic autumn flower from childhood.

there are marigolds all around the neighborhood… i’m about to steal my landlady’s clippers and jack some on a jog.

le sigh.

i’ll settle for marigolds in this dark form, instead.  it also suits the season.

September 24th, 2020 @ 10:51 am

80s costumes are so eyeroll inducing and cliché.  why is it that anytime someone has to dress up like it’s the 80s, they automatically defer to aerobic gear?  if i had to, i’d say people do:

1. aerobic exercise look
2. early madonna look
3. strange combo of aerobic exercise AND madonna look that never even existed IRL (madge did not wear leg warmers on the regs and if you argue this, you are not a true madge fan or most likely even know what the term “madge” means)
4. acceptable, pop culture costumes (movie characters, cartoons, etc)
5. obscure 80s shit

anyways…  what irritated me so badly is because suddenly everyone who never cared about halloween/autumn finally caught up and people are posting old halloween pics for “inspo” (eyeroll), and my friend (who was a pretty, popular cheerleader) posted a pic of her and two other girls in all neon, tutus, side ponytails, a body suit, leggings and leg warmers with plastic jewelry.

like, i get it… those things existed in the 80s as a collective, but nobody walked around like that, at least not in the majority.  this costume just “sums it up?”

that’s another thing…. when did all of these arseholes get so into halloween/fall vibes?  i hate people on this new instagram and blame it for exploiting everything, lol.  i’m not saying people DIDN’T love halloween/autumn before, but it was never a THING like it is now… but esp to normal people.  people not into goth or metal or whatever alternative lifestyle…

when i was like 18/19 i started buying halloween decor and just using it for my bedroom as normal shit, bc you know, halloween 365… and now things fly off the shelves just so goons can DO IT FOR THE GRAM.  like, fuck y’all.  sometimes i have to wait an entire year for the next spooky season and hope stores restock specific fucking items for purchase.

i unfollowed a halloween tshirt account on IG the other day, bc the idiots that run it boasted in a post about driving around to targets to scoop up every XL jack-o-lantern bucket they could find. like, had a pic of them in the car with it filled up with them.  what about everyone else that wants ONE you assholes? (lucky for me, i bought a black and white one and a trad orange back in 2015, the year they released)

bah humbug!

September 6th, 2020 @ 5:32 pm

i have most of my blogs archived since the early 00s.  i figured, maybe i should begin copying/pasting and talking about them as an adult…  i’ll elaborate and explain what was going on at that time or something, maybe i’ll make fun of myself.  maybe it’ll make me cry?  who knows.

i’ll keep the posts in tact and only edit out if i wrote anything absolutely ignorant or offensive, as i was a young moron back then.

i’ll put my current day comments in white boxes.

so, this first post in this category – i’ll combine two of them since the first one is smol, and they tie together.

let’s preface here: october, 2001.
i’m 20, i’m still living at my mom’s house, i’m working at a video store (i was there a little over a year and a half by then), i’m dating a guy (jeff) for almost a year at that point and i’m still finishing high school.  i still had a credit or two i never finished, so i did them in 2001 in night school so i didn’t end up with a GED (no offense to anyone that has a GED vs. a diploma, i was just that i was RIGHT THERE, so i figured why TF not?… i did finish and i graduated officially that february).  i was hanging out with sophie a lot then, jeff’s friends (i say jeff’s friends, but actually i ended up referencing his bff frank a job at the video store with me before i even knew jeff.  i met frank on AOL via one of my current besties, kristen) and i was still sort of hanging out with my raver friends (i had stopped going to raves on the regs, so it wasn’t very often that i did see them anymore).

here we go…

read more…

July 15th, 2020 @ 11:28 pm

since i’ve only used lunar tides hair dye once, i guess it’s unfair of me to only complain about it… BUT after watching tons of videos before committing to buying 4 jars of it, i expected the most glorious dye experience EVARRRRRR.

let me just tell you what went wrong here.
(i don’t want to offend the makers, either. they’re doing a great job! it’s just not for me…)

1. i don’t know why, but the side i dye my hair green on (i have split green/black hair) – i broke out into like 16 small whiteheads behind my ear where the dye was sitting near the roots.  this has never happened to be before with any other dyes over the years.  i’m assuming it may have been sunflower oil? either way, probably just a ME issue.  it did NOT happen on the black side, and i hadn’t dyed that side at all during this session.

2. the fragrance.

every youtuber was like “OMG BEST SMELL EVARRRRR”! i got so hyped…

it smells like the deep conditioner that comes with drugstore box dye… yuck.  i was actually super pissed for the next few days because i couldn’t get the smell out of my hair.  i rarely used the deep conditioner that comes with box dye when i was actually using box dye.  it’s especially terrible compared to the grapealicious smelling arctic fox dye.

3. the rinsing

it was like neverending dye falling out during rinsing.  this is the main reason i love arctic fox… barely any comes out when you rinse.

i’d also just like to point out here, that one chick on youtube was all “arctic fox bleeds all over my pillow cases” and i think she also mentioned the dyes bleeding on shirts…  i’ve been using AF for two years and that has NEVER happened to me.  i’ve also mainly only used dark colours, so i don’t know why she had that issue (i mainly use black, black/green mixed, dark blue, dark purple, dark purple/black).  maybe she didn’t rinse properly?

i give it 3 out of 5 stars

– the colour was beautiful (positive)
– came in a jar (positive)
– company is woman-run (positive)
– the smell (negative)
– the dye running (negative)

on the positive side, i really liked one of the colours i bought.  i did the dark teal over faded green hair and it came out beautiful.  the fading is nice, too.

* * *

i’d also just like to bitch openly about the other two hair colours i habitually use:

manic panic and arctic fox.

MP:

a) the last few jars i purchased from ricky’s (RIP) stores – the dyes must been old.  they smelled weird, and barely worked (specifically i remember voodoo blue smelling like straight up band-aids – more than one jar over time, too, and mystic heather smelling like stale dye).  i have been using MP for YEARS and only came across them being like that via ricky’s stores.  i dunno wtf the deal was…
b) i can’t stand celebrities they endorse.  like, you made it so many years without selling out, suddenly we’re showcasing kylie jenner? FOH.
c) they need more colors.

AF:

a) bottles vs. jars – i haaaaaaaaaaate bottles of dye vs being in the jar. if arctic fox were in jars, they’d be my go-to.
b) when AF dye sits, it gets like, solid-ish?  i have to run it under hot water for it to come out of the bottle cap sometimes.  i find that horribly annoying.
c) i wish they had more color options.  i can and do create custom mixes, but i’d rather just have them done for me.

* * *

anyways, i hope this honest saga in “fashion” hair dye helps SOMEBODY out there.

May 5th, 2020 @ 10:38 pm

i can barely find any posts about this online anywhere… and of course, as usual, i am the unpopular opinion on this, probably the 1%… BUT i fucking LOATHE these standard, fat nail polish brushes.

this stupid, evil, sloppy ass brush that comes with every bottle of polish nowadays REALLY GRINDS MY GEARS.

i am not a novice when it comes time to painting my nails, and i chalk this new default up to goon ass women who can’t paint their nails properly at home.  it makes ME one of those goons bc of how fat and sloppy it is.  i can’t hit the edges of my nails properly.  omg if you can’t paint your nails yourself GIVE MONEY TO A NAIL SALON TO DO IT FOR YOU.  that is the point of them…  give people a job and keep a dang local business open!

i would complain less if i could just buy the freakin’ regular, thin brushes separately, but i can’t.  i would have to swap out the top myself which would be a sloppy ass mess, and i don’t even know if that’s possible, tbh.  also: the only places i find those types of things are from ebay or sus websites.  i don’t buy things from china directly, so i guess i’m just fucked.  oh wait!  i can buy a set of nail art brushes that basically look like paint brushes!  why would i want to do that, WHEN I HAVE BEEN PROPERLY PAINTING THEM FOR 30 YEARS WITH A SHORT, THIN BRISTLED BRUSH THAT COMES WITH MY NAIL POLISH PURCHASE?!

fuck these things, and fuck every board meeting that approved this nonsense making them the default.

i just bought a bunch of new barry m. nail polish and they all have this shite wide brush… i am so annoyed.

even if i did buy replacement brushes, i don’t want to have to swap out whatever brush i’m using. i have like, 300 bottles of nail polish in my arsenal.

ALSO: WHERE THE HELL DID BRUCCI NAIL POLISH GO?!  i can’t find them in stores ANYWHERE anymore.

/covid-rant

April 23rd, 2020 @ 8:29 pm

since this covid shit has happened, i have been sleeping like poopoo and so uncomfortable in this damn bedroom overall.  when we took this apartment, it was bc i wanted my own bathroom and i loved the skylights in this room.  it also didn’t hurt that i would have an entire floor to myself up here… but i didn’t really consider certain things.  this bedroom is long, not wide, the ceilings are slanted, and i hadn’t realized that the closet doors were put on swinging the wrong way.

those things may seem trivial, but when you’re a person that relies on tall bookcases for all of your dvds, vhs tapes, books, mags and tchotchkes, this is not ideal with the ceilings.  also: there is a fucking cubby hole in the middle of one of the walls. WHY?!

i of course found the cubby weird when i was looking at the apartment, but i didn’t consider it a problem, i thought it was a good storage spot or some shit.

i was very wrong.

anyways, last summer i turned my bed so that one side of it was on the wall, but it just didn’t feel right, so i put it back the way that i had it.  i hadn’t moved the furniture across from it and it didn’t help the situation like i thought it would.  i have a long bedroom and at the end of it, there’s a bathroom.  every time i had to go in there, i would have to shuffle by my bed sideways to get there.  it’s honestly annoying bc if i didn’t go sideways, i would touch the comforter covered in cat hair.  for a person that mainly wears black, this is not ideal.  this time, i faced the bed the other way head/foot-wise and adjusted everything else.  i have so much walking room now.  i feel like a new woman.

anyways, everyone i know is starting to go through the phase of “change” during this damn epidemic – and lots of them are doing it with their hair, lol.  i mean, i fuck with my own hair on the regular, so i really don’t find it all that scary, but for regular folks, they need to channel that energy elsewhere.  maybe clean out your closets or move around some furniture like i did… it made a world of difference.

March 30th, 2020 @ 9:45 pm

since every fuckwad in the world decided they were going to get a shag cut in 2019/2020 and it took me long to do it, i’m nixing the long shag idea.  i aint about that trendy life, and now it’s been overdone.  donnnnnneeee to death.

i guess for now, while i’m growing this mop back down to my waist, i’ll just keep layering the shit out of it.  when i can’t take it anymore, i’ll lob it.  i think i’m either going to do all green with shine lines or all medium/light pink (maybe with a darker root).  def highly inspired by these cuts.

March 5th, 2020 @ 6:16 pm

every time i watch “heathers” i’m like OMG I NEED TO MAKE THIS NIGHTSTAND.  it doesn’t look hard, just need to figure out the hardware…

February 1st, 2020 @ 5:27 pm

perf example of what i was talking about here:

black flag’s chuck dukowski’s shirt below… it’s a flyer!

WE DRAW OUR SHIRTS WHEN WE WANT/NEED TO.
(i drew that op-ivy cover with sharpie for HOURS)

#ifyoucantfinditmakeit

January 26th, 2020 @ 8:03 pm

got me some sexthy new cruisy wheels. thank you, sharkwheel.

January 19th, 2020 @ 5:44 pm

in the year 2020, how do people just completely fall off the face of the internet?

now that i’m a working adult with a decent salary, i would like to buy things from certain vendors and makers that i couldn’t afford in the mid/late 2000s.  perfect example: i just got lost in a damn wormhole trying to find judy of joodito.

i was cleaning out one of my bedroom closets, and i found two joodito jackets that i purchased when i was younger.  i have no idea how i even pulled that off, because they were both $200 and over.  i didn’t have money like that, i must have purchased those on tax refunds or some shit, lol.

anyways, i still love futuristic/modern shit and while i do stumble upon sellers on etsy that have these style jackets, but they’re just not the same. i often just often times just settle for weird nike jackets, but JOODITO JACKETS (and clothing)… lawd.  they were fucking amazing.

what’s confusing the shit out of me is that she just is NOWHERE… like, not on any social media that i can find.  i did find an email address maybe she still uses, but i feel like that’s taking it a step too far.  i remember when she was still active on etsy, she turned on the “shop is taking a short break” message, but i figured it would be temporary.  since then, there’s been no update.  same ol’ “short break” aka, like almost a decade?

just *POOF* she’s completely vanished.

her clothing was right alongside the style and quality of early supayana pieces.  i DREAMED of someday filling my closet with pieces from them.  upcycled, weird, rad, LONG, modern pieces.  nowadays, yana is just doing kids clothing… aka my dreams have been shattered, lol.

anyways, if you’re not familiar with what judy’s pieces looked like, here are some timeless, and amazing samples.

JUDY WHERE ARE YOU?!
the fashion world is way less cool without you in it!

January 19th, 2020 @ 12:20 am

i miss:
having weird earrings, large ear holes, cute plugs.

i do not miss:
ear smell x 80000000, washing my earrings/ears on a weekly basis.

* * *

i miss:
having half of my hair dyed a weird colour.

i do not miss:
having to worry about what shampoo type or water temperature i’m washing that side of my head with, updating my dye every two weeks, saying a meaningless “thank you” to every “OMG I LOVE YOUR HAIR!” followed by 88 questions (especially first thing in the morning before i’m caffeinated).

* * *

sometimes i wonder why i don’t feel like myself, and then i remember it’s bc two main things that always made me, me, are not currently happening.  oops.

oh, and i still live in this hell that is suburban, northeastern queens.

to put in effort, or not to put in effort… that is the question.

January 12th, 2020 @ 4:56 pm

coming from a designer of graphics and accessories, i’m sure i sound like an asshole bashing anyone’s creativity (eyeroll) OMG EVERYTHING IS SO INSPIRING… but i also come from the punk and rave scene of back in the day NYC. i lived through venues and clubs that don’t exist anymore. i lived through the days of the east village at it’s PEAK.  i saw the uprising of classic bands that are now punk legacies in tiny shithole venues.  SO, i really don’t care if i do.

this has been my social life, style, friend circle and culture since 1996.  when i see it misrepresented or appropriated, i get irritated.  authenticity is important to us! draw a fucking line, fashion folk… punks aren’t trying to inspire you, they probably hate you.

read more…

December 28th, 2019 @ 1:45 am

these pictures are making me want to chop, chop, chop!

i haven’t had SHORT hair in a long time, but i also haven’t had LONG hair in a long time.  i’m currently on year 2 of growing my hair back down to my waist, and my longest layers are about 4″ away.  once i get there, i’m cutting into a long shag.  i feel like it’s gonna be a bitch to maintain, so after a while, i am looking to chop it all off and reinstate it back into a flippy lil GREEN (or medium blushy pink?) bob.

i had hair up to my chin back in 2004, and i don’t think i’ve done it since (below)… but i think it might be a nice change of pace after having long hair for this extended amount of time.

back in the day, i used to buy and incorporate vintage and/or contrasting items styles into my every day steeze.  i had a bob and i used to flip the ends outward quite often.  my wardrobe was heavily inspired by johnny knoxville, greg attonito and chino moreno.  socks up, vans, arm sweat bands, plastic kid barrettes, bandanas, shorts/cuffed pants/cargo capris with tiny shirts and vintage polos/lacoste shirts.  lots of track jackets, and on most days, i mixed in a lot of goth stuff.

i feel a huge F5 a comin’…

November 5th, 2019 @ 11:38 am

i only lasted FOUR months before wanting to do something to my now all black hair, lol.  i just can’t take it anymore.  i haz the itch.

it’s a lot easier to have this hair, but i don’t feel like myself.  i just don’t know what it is that i want to do…  just my bangs? bangs and side/front?  entire half side again?

the reason i dyed my hair all black was because since my hair is getting so long, it’s a pain in the ass to keep up with.

i am so annoying, lol.

July 6th, 2019 @ 5:32 pm

if in case info about dyed hair aint yo thang…  this post aint for you.

if you don’t mind, please proceed.

read more…

July 28th, 2018 @ 1:46 am

after i had posted earlier today, i was thinking to myself… “why do i still have a website (/blog)?”  the term seems like it’s almost obsolete in terms of personal websites or blogs.  i’m also going to be 37 this year… but that’s a dumb reason to stop doing this.  i have some weird fixation and anxiety that people need to “grow up” at some point.  like i will just magically give up dying my hair, getting tattoos, dressing like a 13 year old sk8r boy or using this website.  i mean, i don’t want to get married nor have kids, so do i even have a growing up point?  newp.

i’ve been doing this since the late 90s, and i don’t like NOT having one, whether i commit to posting to it or not.  i gained so much inspiration and a bunch of friends bc of these types of websites over the years.  i guess part of me keeps going in case people do the same with me.  random online friends came about that way, so why not?  i can see in my stats that people still come here, even if they’re not interactive (i know, it’s not exactly a wall or an instagram comment, so you clam up), so i guess i just keep going.  it’s also quite therapeutic in a way and helps articulate my thoughts better.

my ex once told me that he thought i was a “public figure” or something of sorts on here.  i kind of find that funny/weird, but i know what he meant.  maybe i’m not relevant in a circle of bloggers or webmasters anymore, but it’s okay.  i like having a site like this available to people just like when i actually find one that still exists.

i love (harmlessly) going through websites.  between seeing other people’s interests and recommendations, and just relating issues to other people’s, so you don’t feel alone in this shitty world, i appreciate these types of websites.  for me, it’s not about making myself seem cool, getting attention, etc. – if you had this type of a website, i’m sure you’d understand that.  it was mostly about the layout/design work, the coding… etc. – the content is the last thing i think we worried about.  i think our mission was just being ourselves and like finding people we can relate to.  we’re not all just narcissists.

i don’t post as much anymore bc i had (or probably still have) an online stalker.  no matter how mild of a stalker she was, i don’t want her to know what i’m doing or where i am, so i no longer post about stuff like that.  it kind of blows, but it’s the reality that comes along with this caca.  it makes me want to use tumblr more (even though i don’t), at least for the images, so i can talk less about myself (although i don’t really talk much about personal shit here anyway).

i don’t design like i used to with extravagant layouts, and i refuse to budge this amazing myspace layout, so i dunno what to do with this anymore.  i know this layout probably just looks like classic myspace to you guys, but it’s customized so much.  the ads at the top, everything in the sidebar, the top friends area is all custom coded on the admin side so i can easily add and not have to code anyone in manually…  it’s way more impressive on the back-end that you’ll never see.  FYI: i had to restructure this entire site solely from classic myspace images via google.  sometimes from really shitty small images.  so yeah, #nerdalert

i really want to finish a project/zine-ish type thing that i started that’s all designed in web 1.0 like back in the day.  maybe in 2019.

i don’t think i really had too much of a point, just blabbering on about nonsense as a blogger does…
thanks for swinging by, i guess.

June 21st, 2018 @ 1:06 pm

i am soooooooooooo fucking lazy.  i bought a donny miller skateboard deck about a month ago with no parts.  i honestly really didn’t know wtf i needed to buy, and i didn’t want to get ripped off, so i put off buying anything.  i haven’t hooked up with my friend that i asked to help me build the damn thing, either.  i’m a lazy jerk.  look at how sexy it is, though:

i love donny miller so much.  he always hits the nail right on the head.  that’s actually in a book of his that i own, and to the right of the board is a donny miller tattoo.  yes, i love his art THAT much.  go check him out if you’ve never heard of him.

the only time i’ve ever been on a skateboard was when i was dating my first boyfriend in high school.  i have no idea what made me want to set this goal for myself, but i did, and i really hope i don’t kill myself on it.  i have to get off my buns and get my trucks and wheels and stuff.  i haz failed “go skateboarding day” 2018.  😐

October 16th, 2015 @ 4:55 pm

apparently, the theme for my halloween decor this year is OVERSIZED.

i’ll post some pictures when the house is finished…  last week i was stuck on the couch with bronchitis and decorating just wasn’t in the cards.

October 15th, 2015 @ 2:05 pm

why the hell did i throw out all of my old platform vans?!?!?!  i want a pair so badly… this is all i ever wore in high school (aside from shelltops) :((((

#devistatedstu

October 2nd, 2015 @ 11:32 am

upon shopping around for all hallows eve, i’ve realized that (as with most things i actually purchase) i am picky as fuck when it comes time to spooky decor, especially skeletons and skulls.

target, pyrex, pier 1 and spirit halloween focused on, and put out all of this bullshit sugar skull/dia de los muertos stuff this year.  i don’t know why, but i have a hatred of it when it’s not authentic…  i also keep finding (and cringing at) anything that says “drink up witches”, things that say “fright night/oct 31.” on it (wtf?), and anything with skulls with crossbones.  i don’t relate skulls/crossbones to halloween at all, and find them extremely lame to begin with.  they just remind me of pirates, and i never understood the fascination people had with pirates (especially in the mid 2000’s – it was like a thing).

skull and crossbones are only acceptable when they’re on poison bottles, or the crutches version logo for jackass.

back to the matter at hand…  target is the worst offender this year.  so much of their stuff is coloured to dia de los muertos colorways, and that’s not very halloweenie!  target also has skulls covered in spikes and studs (UH… WHUT)?, ugly skulls with TINY jaws and large heads (example 1, example 2), this bowl that just made no sense, bc you can’t see both hands at once, and most of the candles were just fug.

SADS…

i miss target halloween decor circa 2002/2003… thankfully i still have a lot of it.  including my two 3′ tall plaster candy dish dudes (their heads are where you put the candy ♥ …as shown below).

i’m still on the prowl, though.  there is hope yet…  i haven’t hit every store 🙂

lauren and i are decorating the apartment tomorrow, after the mets game (if it doesn’t get rained out). i shall def instagram. 🙂

September 29th, 2015 @ 4:51 pm

almost 20 years later, and still one of my favorites… ever. ♥

BB16

September 23rd, 2015 @ 4:13 pm

so recently, i thought to buy a pair of these jammies… i haven’t purchased a new pair of navy or black ones sinceeeeeeee…. 2005(ish)?  they were my raver jams back in the day.  they’re super comfy and match with everything and are appropriately named (*classic!*)… but was confused as to their current cost.

i used to buy these at modell’s for $20 because nobody wore/wanted them…  i just found them on the reebok website for nearly $60.  are they back in style or something?