October 28th, 2020 @ 5:32 pm

so in my last post, i mentioned watching the richard bey show (which was mainly known for crazy jerry springer-type topics/antics). i did a search on youtube to see if i could find old episodes, and this popped up. a serious topic vs the usually sleazy stuff… it was about skinheads. the episode started with skins that ARE NOT racist, trying to prove to people not well versed in the subculture, that the majority are not the hateful shitheads typically portrayed by the media.

i am sitting here with my eyes bulging as much as i do on a regular basis, watching the GOP lie through their teeth on tv nowadays… mid-show, they bring in one of the bad types of skins. the entire episode at the start was a group of spirit of 69 skins – more ska punks than anything. i mean, they have some questionable viewpoints, but for the most part, they were decent people. i wonder what year this was from, i’m assuming it’s the late 80s, but holy shit, not much has changed from the shit coming out of the racist one’s mouth.

when the shithead enters the picture (@ 18:00), he is already spewing untrue, annoying bullshit about abraham lincoln and making excuses for having a swastika tattood on his arm (which was “in no way related to hitler”… yeah, okay, buddy). my favorite part was after he started mentioning the honest abe schpeel, he goes on to call himself:

A HISTORICAL REVISIONIST!

he says he used to read history from his encyclopedia britannica but then started reading from underground presses, and so now he knows better.

lmao, sure jan.

he then called abe lincoln a white supremacist… yep.

he also went on to say that skinheads are majority anti-white that cause the problems (while he’s also wearing a confederate flag on his arm?).

the racist asshole skin goes on to preach that white vs black power is just that you have to look out for your own race and that’s it. that he’s not against black power… just they have to only worry about themselves.

that is one of the most un-american things i’ve ever heard.

one of the skins at the top of the show went on to say this after an audience member was asking why the racist shithead was being attacked for his feelings:

“the way i feel about this – and you notice i’m not arguing because this is america – it is a free country and everybody has the right to believe in what they want… he has as much right to believe in what he wants, as i have to believe in what i want. i am not going to sit here and call him any names, because that’s his view. it’s only when somebody takes those views and pushes them on somebody else and alienates their right – takes away their right to have their freedom… that’s when it’s wrong.” – marcus of SHARP

THANK YOU, MARCUS. i have said this over and over again the last decade and in lots of posts on this website. this is my stance on why republicans, conservatives especially, are the fucking devil. case in point: here.

the hardcore kids at the end solidified the program. it’s so crazy, that decades later that this is still so relevant… and we’re still so stuck. when i was growing up, i’m sure i would have watched this and not have any idea wtf they’re talking about… but here i am, age 39 and this is so important AND i turned out to be one of those people.

i have NEVER called myself a skin – i really don’t go around calling myself a “punk” either, but i’ve been way into punk since i was a teenager, it’s been my social life since then, i have plenty of punk friends from the scene over the years and obviously stand by the values they support. even though i’m not a skin, it’s part of my subculture. just like that chick at the end said – america is a melting pot. well, so are punks. we’re all on the same team (aside from the racist or annoying straight edge kids) and about equality. this is why i love this subculture. the punks hang with the skins, the ska kids, the hardcore kids, the metal kids, etc. – all of us weird or bullied or rock kids all stuck together, and for the most part, we’re still there.

October 25th, 2020 @ 11:03 pm

for some odd reason i had this song stuck in my head all day.  for an even odder reason, since childhood, i thought taylor dayne performed this song, lol.

as i’m watching it, i realize the “bouncer” in the video looks a lot like walter olkewicz (jacque renault on twin peaks)… i can’t find any credit that is actually him… but it really looks a lot like him.  the shape of the lips are especially similar.

anyways, i googled him, and i came across info that says he’s in bad shape healthwise.  i found a gofundme he has setup for donations.  if you can help, please do!  i hope he’s okay 🙁

October 18th, 2020 @ 11:44 pm

October 16th, 2020 @ 11:58 pm

please, when we can have concerts again, i would like this very much at terminal 5:

miami horror
tame impala
chromeo
daft punk

like, i need to dance for hours to VERY happy, funky music.  i don’t think this would ever happen, but to have the trifecta of greatness as i have just listed, would be the biggest synth-pop/house music showgasm of my life.

and universe… please make it happen on a day that doesn’t conflict with any concert that is rescheduled from this the shit show that was 2020.

♥ jess

October 13th, 2020 @ 4:56 pm

i treated myself to the most perfect little vase this year, for my birthday.  all i’ve wanted to put inside of it (because it’s small), are marigolds.  i can’t find any in home depot, in florists around here… etc.  i’m getting so annoyed.

it’s the perf autumn flower, and a wonderfully nostalgic autumn flower from childhood.

there are marigolds all around the neighborhood… i’m about to steal my landlady’s clippers and jack some on a jog.

le sigh.

i’ll settle for marigolds in this dark form, instead.  it also suits the season.

March 27th, 2020 @ 2:30 pm

in case you need cheering up:

February 1st, 2020 @ 3:11 pm

first concert: bush – madison square garden, 1997

last concert: the adicts – gramercy theater, 2020

next concert: ??? no idea.  hopefully squeeze

best concert: bouncing souls – cha cha’s/coney island, 2007

seen the most: bouncing souls

worst concert: bouncing souls terminal 5 – i was WAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSTED and greg played misfits acoustically on a ukulele (i hate acoustic music for the most part, REALLY dislike ukuleles). it angered me and ruined the show for me, lol. it was also my actual birthday, so i was extra irritated.

loudest concert: aren’t all concerts loud?

most unexpected pleasure: going to adicts shows and coming home with goodies from the lead singer (he throws playing cards, other party goodies).

wish i’d seen: sublime, nirvana (they were still alive/touring when i was almost old enough to go to shows), op-ivy, the cars, the academy is…

via raised_in_the__80s

January 1st, 2020 @ 3:40 pm

when i think “roaring 20s”, all i think about is art deco… lots of black and gold, handcrafted, durable, romantic, timeless, gorgeous art deco.

now we have a bunch of wayfair/ikea bullshit, lol.

don’t get me wrong, i fucking love ikea… i have since i was a child, but don’t get it twisted.  that shit isn’t built to last.  i’m surprised i have pieces that lasted over a decade, tbh.

anyways, here we are… in the 2020s.  society hath fallen apart, mindsets are shite, everything is just so… rapid.  no sustainability on many fronts.  how depressing.

i don’t believe in resolutions – never have.  i want to just make a mental note to travel more, freelance more, buy some jonathan adler and elsa peretti pieces, get my shit together even more and make sure i have a good year, just like last year.

🙂

…gotta play it at least once today:

December 28th, 2019 @ 10:06 pm

December 12th, 2019 @ 10:00 pm

did you know the wu-tang logo was designed by a queens native? i sure didn’t.

it took me 26 years to find this out, but here we are, and at least i got here.

September 22nd, 2019 @ 4:20 pm

still got a cracked, black heart. 🙁

September 15th, 2019 @ 11:47 pm

as a young stu, this was one of my favorite 80s videos/songs. what a weird kid, lol.  i just thought they were like, cool spies or some shit.  i still love this song so much, and as an adult, the video is so visually appealing to me – the colors and contrast of their suits, the architecture of the building and the industrial setting.

around an hour ago, my boyfriend came to personally break the news to me that ric ocasek died, knowing i’d be upset.  i instantly started crying in disbelief.  they (finally) just got into the rock & roll hall of fame… it just can’t be real.

the cars have been in my life since i can remember consciousness.  my mother was a huge fan, and i absorbed it from toddler age.  they’ve always been the soundtrack to my life.  this just breaks my heart.  i can’t put into words how much this band has made me happy, influenced me artistically and aesthetically, and have been there to help me through breakups and hard times.  i listen to them on a daily basis, and i can’t remember a time that i didn’t listen to them on a daily basis, to be honest.

my sister’s cousins (via her dad, we have different fathers) used to babysit me and they’d constantly play the heartbeat video music videos VHS tape while babysitting.  i loved it so much.  i don’t know why panorama was on that video, bc it wasn’t on heartbeat city, but whatever.  enjoy the video, it’s one of my faves.

i cherish every member, and it was hard enough not having benjamin orr, but this one stings.  thank you for also producing other bands that i love as well, ric.  your talent and artistry will be missed so dearly.  i’m extra sad bc now i’ll really never get to see them live.

le sigh.

January 6th, 2019 @ 2:16 pm

so when i was 16, it was the year of ball chain necklaces, kool-aid stained hair, airwalks, cool sk8r and pacific sunwear surfer shirts, jncos, etc.  i had been in love with gavin rossdale for like, 3 years.  bush was all the rage at that point.  i wasn’t as musically versed as i am now, so of course, they were the greatest band EVARRRRRRRR…

my first concert ever was bush when i was in 10th grade, and i felt soooooooo cool pogoing at an alt rock show (lulz).  that concert at madison square garden was actually the thing that brought me and my first love together.  the first time i ever spoke to him, he was wearing a razorblade suitcase shirt and it was the topic of conversation that i used to get to him.  for that, i will forever be thankful to bush, but i digress…

this afternoon, i stumbled upon a recent article talking about how fans hated the lyrics of sixteen stone and basically gavin was going on about his lyrics as artistic, magical and fluid and blah blah blah…  my eyes rolled so hard.  over the years, people have always accused him of riding the coattails of gwen, and it always used to upset me to read that.  she’s just in a different, incomparable category.  she was in a pop band, she had a pop solo career apart from NxD, she was running two fashion lines, etc. – she was all over the place.  in interviews, she used to say he didn’t love no doubt or her music.  she made him sound very dismissive and she also mentioned that only he listens to dark/deep stuff, which is clearly the opposite of no doubt.  those comments made it seem like he was unsupportive or jealous or something.  between her saying that and reading his interviews, he sounds like he’s got this weird ego where he thinks bush was this underrated, genius band or something.  it’s kind of awkward.  no offense to his talent, but bush had their moments, and then they did not.  lots of did nots.

bush faded out over the years and didn’t stand the test of time (i’m not mentioning post-razorblade bush, bc i totally fell off the bandwagon – just the early stuff).  in fact, i revisited razorblade suitcase today, and i sat here scratching my head as to how i ever liked it.  sixteen stone is still good, despite the bad lyrics (i have always questioned wtf he’s ever talking about in songs, no matter how much i loved them), but the real gems are the b-sides.

i rarely listen to sixteen stone in its entirety.  i REALLY have to be in a mood to listen to that type of music.  that happens to me with lots of bands, but that is definitely an album i only pick up once a decade, but i do listen to individual tracks on a more frequent basis.  “machinehead ” is an awesome song, still is in my mind.  i could probably listen to “everything zen” and “little things” on a more frequent basis as well.  honestly, i’ve always hit skip on “glycerine”, and i could live without it.

okay okay, i’m getting sidetracked…  THE B-SIDES.

so if you’re a kevin smith fan, you probably know the aggressively grungey song snippet “bubbles” from the movie mallrats, even if you didn’t realize it was bush.  i don’t remember what year i finally saw mallrats, but it was way before the internet was chock full of info as it is now, so i couldn’t find more info about it.  i always knew that i heard gavin’s voice in that tiny song snippet, though.  there was no b-sides or a single (that i can remember) released for it, and i don’t know why, but i didn’t think to buy the mallrats OST.  it kind of just remained a mystery for a long time.

this afternoon is when i youtubed that mallrats bad boy (listen to it here and LOL @ the comments), and while it’s VERY 90s, holy crap, that’s actually a good bush song.  like, i would listen to it today on a regular basis.  i went to see what it was on, and it says it was on a reissue of razorblade suitcase, along with 3 other songs – AND THEY ARE ALL FUCKING GOOD.  i am sitting here in awe and confused as to why that they never released these on studio albums or as singles.

maybe they were *tOo CoMmeRciAL* for gavin or something?  what a waste of singles that could have been doled out.

January 5th, 2019 @ 4:25 pm

i was born in the wrong era, fah realz.

December 3rd, 2018 @ 10:31 am

picture it.  flushing, queens, 1997…

a confused, young girl in love is finally being exposed to her musical preferences that will set the tone for the rest of her life.  a sexy brown boy, skateboard readily in hand, ball chain around neck with airwalks on is showing her what actual punk rock is.  he shows her ska-punk as well, and she embraces it with open arms.

NO… punk rock is not green day (i still have a hard time calling green day punk, no matter if all of us 70s/80s babies came through that rite of passage or not), and 15 year old me is confused.

“BUT THEY HAVE BLUE AND GREEN HAIR…?” – her brain says
(still at that point, only actual rocker people had weird colour hair)

…he paves the way.

bands like rancid, goldfinger, bloodhound gang, no doubt, etc., but getting to the point here…  NOFX.

the moment i heard “i heard they suck live!!”, i was hooked.  the only exposure i had to punk that i can remember growing up was the ramones and green day (again, i thought it was straight up punk).  while the ramones were definitely more punk than GD, this was different.  this was faster, grosser and more vulgar.  also: there were horns?!

i heard this live album before i heard the actual albums these songs came off of, and still to this day, the album versions don’t sound correct to me.  this album is offensive as shit, but i always found it funny (ie: together in the sand, they talk about fucking your mother and then called her a hoe – i now know that slut shaming is wrong)

anyways, this album is going to be 25 next year (EW! plz kill me, i’m old), and i was thinking to myself about how fucking rad it would be if fat mike and the guys would do a 25 year anniversary show for it.  i would be there in a heartbeat, with my beavis and butthead remote in hand (YES, I STILL HAVE MINE, AND YOU WILL ONLY UNDERSTAND IF YOU KNOW THIS ALBUM LIKE THE BACK OF YOUR HAND).

i made these absolutely ridiculous earrings yesterday (yep, from my actual 90s CD insert), which inspired me to listen to it while i straightened my glorious mane last night.  in addition, it inspired me to post this.  so, if fat mike + co., if you find this before 2020, please do this.

*~BONUS~* lastly:
picture it.  times square, 2016…

jessica and two co-workers are on their way to see the gin blossoms live at bb kings (I KNOOOWWWW…. how un-punk of us, lol).  we are in search of sustenance, when a co-worker suggests a restaurant that is too packed to even bother.  as soon as we step out, a man with a red mohawk steps in front of us.  male co-worker and i look at each other at the same time, trying to hold in our energy and excitement.  female co-worker is like “WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU 2?”.  we walk behind the mohawked man for half a block and i’m like “do we say hi?”, and he’s like “um, yes”, but does nothing, so i go for it.  i flag him down and ask for a picture.  mind you, aside from my hair, we do NOT look like a pair of punks.  we had just come from work, so he’s probably like “why do these people want a pic with me?”.  i wound up saying “hey mike!”, so i guess he put two and two together and obliges the pic and then chats us up with some small talk.  i’m star struck because i always am, and my adrenaline filled ass actually asks him where he’s off to.  :facepalm:

at any rate, i got this out of the ordeal:

OI OI OI!!!1

November 15th, 2018 @ 2:28 pm

punk and pop punk are my faaaaaaaaaave…  esp. REAL pop punk (ie: face to face).  this album makes my cold, tiny heart fucking swell.

♥ ♥ ♥ currently on repeat: ♥ ♥ ♥

November 9th, 2018 @ 9:47 pm

♥ ♥ ♥ just one of those awesome empire records songs that didn’t make the OST cut… ♥ ♥ ♥

holy fuck, i miss the 90s so much.

November 9th, 2018 @ 1:06 pm

September 12th, 2018 @ 10:56 am

it’s really hard for me to say i have a favorite *anything* in music. i go by subcategories for everything. however, i will say, if i had to choose top 5 favorite genres… this would be top 3. i have such a love for these what i like to call “adult contemporary” (VH1’y) songs, lol. they hit me right in the feels. they remind me of being upstate with my cousin and screaming along in her room or the car. they remind me of nights i finally had my own room at the age of 14 in 1995, and i’d let Z100 or MTV play in the background while i wrote in my dumb diary or played SNES for hours.

whenever it’s gloomy, rainy, foggy or autumnesque out, i feel like it’s the perfect time for these types of songs. i equate this weather to comfort. anyways, if you don’t already know/listen to these songs, maybe you’ll enjoy ’em 🙂

UGH i miss the 90s so fucking much.

August 24th, 2018 @ 10:50 am

I FINALLY SAW SPARTAAAAAAAAAAA!!!1

i’m so glad i finally got to cross them off of my bucket list.  if you don’t know who they are (as i did not), apparently these dudes (or some of these dudes over time) were in a band called “at the drive-in”.  i didn’t really research too much bc i don’t care, honestly.  as soon as i saw that the lead singer was the dude from the mars volta, i was all “YUP that explains why i never bothered”.  i haaaaaaaate that dude’s voice.  so where a door closes, a window opens – and i love hearing jim ward’s voice spilling out of it.  much bettah!

i don’t know how i never heard of them before, but i guess it’s bc i really don’t give a shit about music genres the same way i do punk…  i love a lot of post-hardcore, but i never really explore other PHxC bands just because i like some or even a lot of bands.

♥ ♥ ♥

picture it, salt lake city, 2011…  an attractive peasant girl is falling asleep while getting a time consuming tattoo done.  relaxing music was playing in the parlor…  she comes to find out after being woken up by her tattoo artist (lol), that the soothing, melodic music was a band called “sparta”, and an album titled “porcelain”.  she instantly fell in love and never looked back.

♥ ♥ ♥

unfortunately for me, i came across sparta during their own nap that they fell into as easily as i did on that tattoo table.  they had taken a hiatus 3 years prior to that day, so i had to wait all of these years for them to wake up and play.  it was worth the wait…  i am so glad to see them in such a small venue (bowery ballroom).  they also played my favorite song, which made my cold, tiny heart swell.

actual footage of me at the show:

jim also asked all of us to, if possible, to donate to his friend running for senate.  i’m assuming you being here are probably like-minded to me (COUGHCOUGHFUCKTRUMP AND COUGHCOUGHFUCKREPBLICANS AND COUGHCOUGHFUCKCONSERVATIVES), so i figured it’d be a good idea to post it here.  we need more progressive minds running the show, so show your support if you can.

August 14th, 2018 @ 12:39 pm

this is such a summer album.  this came out the summer of my senior year of high school… takes me right back.

please note: (v important)
i have always skipped “adam’s song” and “all the small things”.
i hate them so much… i wish they would just go die in a corner.

July 28th, 2018 @ 2:04 am

July 18th, 2018 @ 2:33 pm

so out of nowhere (not that i’m complaining), a buzzfeed author wrote an article about gwen stefani yesterday.  tl;dr (it really is long): it mentions her relationships, but mostly focused on how successful she is, and about the fight gwen has with her image and how we perceive the act/character of gwen stefani.  honestly, i didn’t realize this act gwen even existed.  it made me even more angry than usual towards her, lol.  it’s just like, who even are you?

* * * * *

now, as a teenager of the 90s, i got THE gwen. the gwen that everyone looked up to, wanted to look like or wanted to bone.  for me, when i first saw/heard “just a girl”, i wasn’t like YEAH, OMG GIRL POWER!!!1 – i can’t relate to that feminist spark.  i totally agreed with all of it, but i mostly just simply heard something that was right up my alley bc i loved punk/alt rock (i didn’t know what ska or ska-punk was yet), but i also heard synth in it.  i also knew right away that her style – i wanted parts of it.  right away, NxD really just appealed to me and got the ball rolling for a lot of the genres of music i’d come to grow into.

read more…

July 9th, 2018 @ 11:19 am

i love face to face so fucking much, and this song has been stuck in my head since saturday, as it played twice in kristen’s car on the way to the beach.

they’re playing on my birthday this year, but they’re doing an acoustic set.  i am so bummed about it. 😐  i just want a good pit to dance around in for my bday.  these vans can’t skank forever, i’m getting older, lol.

FACE TO FACE, COME BACK TO NYC!!!1

July 2nd, 2018 @ 6:12 pm

my bedroom in this apartment is so weird… it’s basically a long room and i don’t have big closets like my last two apartments, so there’s shit everywhere.  i just found the box with my posters in it and dug out the misfits “famous monsters” poster.  i want to hang it, but there’s basically nowhere to put it.  i have an “attic” type bedroom with angled walls to the ceiling, so that’s the only real estate i have left.  i mean i guess i could just do that…

anyways, i threw on both graves era albums straight after finding the poster, and now i’m all pissed bc i’ll probably never get to see a reunion with graves.  i saw him perform with them one halloween at “the world” in times square, but it wasn’t even a full set.  i want both damn albums played in front of me…  it’s not fair.  i watched and read a few interviews where it’s basically stated that it’s never going to happen, but we can all throw it out into the universe every now and again, i suppose.

ENJOY THIS GOODNESS (unless you’re a corny misfits snob):

June 19th, 2018 @ 10:19 am

this song makes my skin tingle ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥  (lol, wtf?)

May 10th, 2018 @ 12:50 pm

everyone keeps posting albums on instagram, uhhhhh i think their most influential albums or some shit (lol, clearly i’m paying attention on social media).  i’m guessing that means coming of age albums.  i don’t post shit like that on instagram, i actually still just post actual photos (unless it’s the occasional reminder post to follow my mobile wallpapers account so that you can see when i post new ones), so i figured i’d do something like that here.

instead of most influential, i’ll do the first 10 full albums that i can remember from childhood (which are honestly still in regular/heavy rotation even today)… thank you, mom ♥

she’d drive around day after day, week after week, month after month and year after year with these albums on repeat, and they’re part of me i’ll never be able to shake.  these songs are always in my weekly/monthly playlist that i shuffle through.

read more…

May 7th, 2018 @ 2:24 pm

May 7th, 2018 @ 12:46 pm

I’M NOT CRYING, YOU’RE CRYING!!!1

i have to be honest – i never really pay attention to the R&R HoF inductions, but of course i cared this year bc the cars were finally inducted!  i can’t believe it took so long for them to get there.

watching this induction was wonderfully overwhelming, as the cars are one of my faaaaaaaaaaavorite bands ever.  brandon flowers got to do it, and his love for the cars was pouring out of him while speaking… it was great.  i can’t believe it took him that long to get to know who they were.  brandon and i were born in the same year, just three months apart.  it’s kind of funny how that happened.  he discovered the cars while i was discovering all of the alt bands of the 90s, including weezer (funny enough someone in =w= played WITH the cars during the ceremony)…

i got lucky and i had young/rad people around me in the 80s the shoved all of that current music at the time in my face at a young age.  my mother was a huge cars fan, and my cousins mary and jimmy were teenagers at that time and used to let me watch the heartbeat city VHS tape with them.  i vividly remember being SO confused bc of ric walking on water during “magic” and i thought it was magic.  i remember thinking about how cool/naughty the video for “hello again” was, and i love that i was a warhol fan before i didn’t even know who warhol was.  panorama is probably not one of the cars most popular songs, but it’s one of my favorites, and the video was always one of my favorites.

i am so happy for them.  during their speeches, they thanked us fans.  it made me wonder if they even know how many “young” fans they know they actually have.  i read in an article a few years back that ric ocasek didn’t want to tour for many reasons, but one of them was that he thought a younger audience wouldn’t exist.  i got inspired to write him a hand-written letter soon after i read that, BEGGING him to tour for us one last time…  i have no idea if he ever got the letter, and i highly doubt it’ll ever happen.  if it ever did, it would definitely help fill my cold, black heart and make my measly little life a little more complete.  music is one of the only things that really makes me feel emotion in life, and it’s a big part of my social life.  when my favorite bands won’t tour anymore, life = over.

April 14th, 2018 @ 12:53 pm

i must admit, this is probably my 2nd or 3rd favorite no doubt song EVER (definitely my 2nd favorite NxD album). i hate what the song is about, but the music<333 best.