#NYR, the 80s, the 90s, going to shows (punk, ska-punk), cycling/modifying my track bike, getting tattoos, spending time with genuine people, making jewelry, watching frasier, visiting filming locations, rad nail art, graffiti (as an observer), dying my hair unnatural colours, ice cold coors light (bottles, plz), graphic design, eargesting music, warm coffee/iced lattes, #NYM, netflix (binging in general), punk stuff, horror, autumn, winter, making t-shirts, watching twin peaks, vinyl toys, bargain shopping, architecture, traveling, making memories, reading, replacing nostalgic relics, philanthropy (whenever possible), wordpress development and coding in general (PHP, XHTML, CSS, SCSS, jQuery)
i got to see tears for fears live again on saturday. ♥ glorious, glorious tears for fears. ♥
the happiness makes my heart want to burst.
they didn’t play this song for me AGAIN, which bums me out… but the setlist was decent (it was also missing the working hour, but i did get to see that the first time i saw them live in LA). i’d really like to see this before i, or they, perish from this world. everybody wants to rule the world is my favorite tears for fears song (and my favorite song of all time), but this is directly behind it in terms of TFF. it’s dark and emotional and hypnotic… roland’s voice on this track, pure goosebumps.
also (speaking of goosebumps): LAUREN. EVANS. tff’s backup singer was AMAZING. like, goosebumps amazing. since it was only garbage and TFF on this tour, they should have given her a slot to perform. what a voice. i’d love to go see her on her own, tbh.
♥ i’m sick of smiling
and so is my jaw
can’t you see my front is crumbling down?
i’m sick of being someone i’m not
please get me out of this spot
i’m sick of clapping
when i know i can do it better for myself
i’m sick of waiting
sick of all these words that will never matter ♥
as far back as i can remember, my life included a musical soundtrack. fortunately for me, i grew up in the 80s and my mom was still in her 20s, and was still pretty cool. she listened to all of the best disco inspired or synthy 80s goodness, not just the top pop shit. as i grew older and came into my own, i got into more obscure 80s stuff, and i got way into synth-pop. i also went to raves and got into house music. it all really blended together more and more with time going by (it’s crazy how much i didn’t know when i was younger bc we lacked the abundance of info we have on the internet, now). a lot usually points back to giorgio moroder, and i love it.
the father of disco. a true pioneer for all of the sounds that make my heart happy. whether it’s his influence or his production, it usually falls back on him. ♥
this was stuck in my head this morning (video below), and is prob my favorite duran duran track. i threw the album on (it’s one of my faves – and was released the same year i was born!) and looked up the wikipedia deets. of course moroder was mentioned as an influence. makes total sense…
the dancing in this video, i can not, lol.
the blouses! i can not.
john taylor, i absolutely dear satan WOULD. : drools :
anyways, enjoy (if you’re into 80s/new wave)… and happy fuckin friday!
as i was just closing down the kitchen on the first floor of my duplex, i was just humming a tune while loading the dishwasher. it took a second for me to realize what it was, but it was “battle hymn of the republic”. no idea where it came from in the year 2022, but my brain definitely stored it because of junior high school chorus practice.
so what’s notable about this? well, i sang that song with my junior high school chorus AT CARNEGIE HALL (in stern auditorium!).
yep, i sang at carnagie hall, lol. i find that shit so weird. it was also only because of the public school i was going to at the time. they allowed us into some program back in 95. for some, that is an absolute life and career goal. here my corny 14 year old ass was shuffling up onto this prestigious stage, honestly just a half-good alto, singing with her choir and got to do it without the practice, practice, practice…
i feel like that is some random ass shit for a non-musician or singer to have on their resume.
i remember walking up on this stage for both practice and for the performance. it felt insane and sort of indescribable to have that view in front of me. it doesn’t look big, and i can’t remember how big that room actually is, but i felt small as shit the two times we were there on that stage.
i remember our chorus teacher mrs. bart kept telling us to sing from our bellies and towards that circle in the middle of the ceiling where the lights are… and i did.
i have to find the program from that performance… i definitely still have it saved. i remember we sang “battle hymn of the republic” and my favorite beethoven song – “hallelujah” (christ on the mount of olives). i know that year we also did sister act songs, but i can’t remember if we did them there or not.
edit: i found the stagebill from an older post (and yes we DID do sister act)!
iiiiiiiiiiiiiii aaaaaaaammmmmmmmmm soooooooooooooooooo happy that stranger things decided to use “running up that hill” by kate bush this season. not only because it’s one of my favorite 80s songs EVARRRR, but bc it finally cancelled out and replaced the bohemian rhapsody of the clash (should i stay or should i go). i also love that they’ve now introduced that song to a new generation of people/kids.
the stranger things scores and soundtracks are so fucking good. like, goosebumps good. it reminds me of the end of “san junipero” (black mirror). the guy who wrote the episode specifically nailed down “heaven is a place on earth” for the ending of that episode. he said he would have been “distraught” if he couldn’t have used it for the end scene. i love how like that, stranger things tie such specific songs to things to evoke emotions with music (time after time at the dance… BE STILL MY HEART), and don’t even get me started on san junipero. i cried the ugliest happy tears the first time i watched it.
i won’t spoil stranger things 4, but the scene where running up that hill is featured, my lawd… my heart. like, that song always chokes me up to begin with (and “this woman’s work” – i can’t get through that song without a tear falling) – but attaching a specific character to “running up that hill” at a specific and very important scene… WHO IS CUTTING ONIONS?!
anyways, if you haven’t already watched it, GO FREAKIN WATCH IT!!!
i can’t wait until the next two episodes are released – i want to watch the entire series in order, straight through. i actually might just do it anyway, because the timing might just line up.
i want to relive the entire show like i’ve never seen it before.
* * *
if you’ve never heard the song i’m referencing in this post, please ENJOY:
BISSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH they had better play NYC or i am going to be so mad. the academy is… is on my damn near impossible to see list on my life goals page, man!
* * *
(this post title and intro featuring lyrics from the video below ♥)
i haaaaaaaaaaaate when tom isn’t in blink, and granted A&A was during a hiatus and not that tom up and left blink for them… i’m glad that hiatus happened. this song pulls me out of any state of not-happy within the first 4 notes that hit the speaker. i love love love this song. sometimes it slips from my playlists if i overdo it, and it resurrected itself for me today. ♥ ♥ ♥
i-empire is such a good album. i’m not a massive fan of all A&A, but that one is just such a gem.
ahhhhhhhhh, jimmy eat world perfection. ♥ i love when i fall off of this song for a while and come back to it and fall in love with it all over again. this album is so deliciously, overwhelmingly, happily heartbreaking and tied to so many memories. for some odd reason, all of my friends that also listen to this album say the same thing – that it’s a bittersweet one – tied to both good and bad memories. i wonder why the universe did that.
bleed american reminds me of when my sister and i became close back in the day. she had just started driving and this was one of our on-repeats. it was also an album we used to listen to in christina’s car (my former friend/first roommate) when we first became friends (“i’m not andrina cause i take the right pills every day” – i will never not think of those lyrics when i hear the song bleed american. our friend went to “naughty school” (which i always assumed was boarding school but might have been a psych hospital stay) and i guess was on psych meds? – really nice of her friend to come up with those lyrics). we listened to this album often and lots of emo/80s/gothy/punk mix CDs on random road trips for hours. this album, and both my sister and christina, also got me through the first breakup i had with jeff – i STILL can’t listen to cautioners</3.
anyways, if you’ve never heard it, and you’re into………. rock (lol?) give it a listen. wikipedia has it down as “Alternative rock, pop punk, power pop, emo”. i have a skewed vision of what emo is, as i really couldn’t stand the dashboard confessional type whiny/sad bands, and i automatically was turned off to the genre. not all of the bands they normally list as emo bands make sense to me, either (sometimes they list weezer…?). then they get all confused and fuse emo with pop punk – don’t even get me started. at the end of the day, i’m more of a screamo person, anyway.
listen, bleed american came out in 00 or 01 and still sounded like 90s rock shit, so i dunno, i lump it in with all of that. it’s alt rock that the emos listen to, that some of the bands sorta sound like sometimes.
like, of course i loved this song as a teenager – it talked about piercing your tongue! at the time, tattoos and piercings for us youths were out of reach for the most part and weren’t mainstream just yet. this song is also catchy as hell, but i never went past the one hit wonder that it was. it was just always on the radio or mtv, so i didn’t buy the album. 24 years later, i checked out the album it spawned from, and it’s so good. i love me indie rock, and this is no exception. indie/garage alt rock from the 90s? even better.
the entire album sorta reminds me of listening to the blue album until the slower songs at the end. i could have done with two less slower songs… not that they’re bad, i just like the faster rock stuff. also: hot damn, “wrecking ball” sounds like it was performed by cursive.
if you also love grungy 90s alt rock like me, check it out (if you haven’t already, since i’m VERY late to the party).
i saw this song live last night @ irving plaza, and i haven’t listened to or thought of it in like, almost twenty years. it’s like i almost suppressed it bc of association. it’s one of my favorite thursday songs. it gives me nostalgic frog in the throat…
this song reminds me of A TIME.
a person.
a dangerously hot boy with long hair, an infectious grin, delicious lips and (our) undeniable chemistry.
i don’t regret any of it, but i definitely would have done things differently. i wanted him to be more than just my *in between people* person. the curse of horrible timing, my allegiance to someone else, my jealousy for his infatuation with someone else, feeling inadequate and getting in my own way, unfortunate mutual “friends”, impatience, being in my 20s and being an idiot… the one time i actually COULD be with him, i chose the wrong person instead of him.
maybe if he’d just forced his way into that window, but you know, a summer tour for his band. oh well, we’ll never know.
when the people you love get lost in the shuffle when you leave, you leave nothing but broken hearts
at the end of the day, the person i chose instead opened many doors to things i love today. i guess everything happens for a reason.
i want to live alone
because the greatest love
is always ruined by the bickering
the argument of living
i want to live alone
i could be happy on my own
♥ ♥ ♥
:opens up chipotle container expecting a delicious chicken quesadilla, opens it and finds horribly greasy/flakey quesadilla with some type of charred meat that was super spicy and NOT chicken: “wtf is this?” – me
:uncovers “dipping” stuff (sour cream/salsa): “here’s the sour cream and stuff” – steve
“that’s not what i’m complaining about, wtf is this meat?” – me
“you’re the worst with food when it comes back wrong. you’re just like joe, i feel like i’m dating joe.” – steve, with an extremely pissy attitude, right off the bat
“wtf, i’m just saying this food is wrong…” – me
“well you can’t order a replacement (via uber eats, they only refund not exchange the wrong food)” – steve :off in the distance still bitching angrily about how i am *the worst* when food arrives incorrectly:
“did i ask for a replacement? i’m just asking, when have you ever seen me order or eat a steak quesadilla? don’t you think there’s a reason for that?” – me, who just really doesn’t want to eat a steak quesadilla (ever)
“never.” – steve
“THAT’S BECAUSE I DON’T LIKE STEAK IN QUESADILLA FORM!” – me
* * *
i hate bickering and fighting with people. i will admit that i do have OCD about shit in my house (mainly my room and the kitchen), but everyone i know is warned about it. i don’t just bitch at others for absolutely no reason… especially stupid little things.
i legit can not believe i just got bitched at and full-on attitude for receiving my fucking lunch wrong. i am sitting here like wtf just happened? am i crazy? i almost feel like texting someone to ask if i am totally in the wrong here. i mean, sure i could have eaten whatever it was, but i didn’t want to. i don’t like any other meat from chipotle. why should i eat something i don’t enjoy? i feel like if i had asked my friends, they’d just be biased and be like “oh you’re totally in the right”.
i understand this pandemic still has us feeling fatigued, isolated and annoyed, but why take it out on others (if that’s the case)?
it’s a good thing i ordered two meals for dinner yesterday, or i would have had nothing to eat for lunch today… shit.
i realize that he says it’s only a possibility, and probably a small one, but that reunion is on my freakin live shows bucket list! i remember reading years ago about how jesse said he didn’t want to do it bc the crowd wouldn’t be like at smaller shows they used to play… and i totally get that. i just feel like their cult audience would be HUGE. where/how would they play???
tl;dr: operation ivy was a fuckin RAD band from cali basically invented ska punk (hello, what i listen to 60% of the time), broke up after like two damn years and only ONE official record, but that record was amazing. so amazing that they continue to have a cult followed legacy til this day!
two of the members went on to start a staple band in the punk community (rancid – fortunately for us, sometimes we get to see them play op-ivy songs), and the other two went off on their merry ways without a big spot in the “popular” punk limelight, but still had notable projects. anyways, we little ska-punkers born in the early 80s have only DREAMED of seeing op-ivy live, because well, they broke up before we hit age 10.
***
now, what i was saying before was that the lead singer said he would only want to perform to a smaller venue-type crowd. well, i don’t see how that’d happen, seeing as that they’ve got so many damn fans at this point – even generations after they were in their hay day… but i hope they can think of something, bc not everyone just wants to SEE op-ivy just to say they did. some of us want to sweat, skank, pit, dance, sing and experience that shit to the fullest (ahem, me and a ton of my friends).
i bet you it would only be west coast, and they’d have to do secret shows. maybe scavenger hunt the hints to them, and you know the god damn internet would ruin it for everyone… it’s so annoying, you know you’d have idiots showing up for multiple shows too. i remember when billie joe was doing his solo or other band shit a few years ago, he was trying to tell people online to not do that so everyone could experience it and STILL people didn’t listen… PEOPLE SUCK. the internet sucks, but i digress.
an op-ivy reunion somehow? my heart would be so full.
i really thought i invented self-care when i was a teenager.
one afternoon when i was like 16-18 years old, i was in my old bedroom and no one was home. i decided i needed to relax and wanted to take a bath to chill out. i thought i was a genius for figuring out the combination of putting on relaxing music, using my bath pearls, lighting my gap dream candle and soaking my dumb little life’s teenage cares away.
the internet didn’t tell you to do these things back then. it really just dawned on me one day that the collection of these things all at once would really help me mentally.
i thought of this today because i am going to see genesis live tonight (a bucketlist band for me! ♥). i remember my playlist consisted of phil, genesis, gloria estefan among other sad, romantic artists.
anyways, i couldn’t help but peek at the setlist for this tour, and for some dumb ass reason, they decided not to include “in too deep” or “hold on my heart”, which breaks my heart. those are top 5 genesis songs for me.
the only saving grace is that i paid less to see them at the new UBS arena vs. sky high prices at the garden. while i would have loved to have seen my philly boo under my favorite ceiling, i just couldn’t get through the queue, and even if i did, i couldn’t justify the pricing.
i just wanted to note that this is one of my faaaaaaaaaaaaaaavorite blink songs ever (minus the stupid rap part :eyeroll: THANKS, TRAVIS/s).
i love the romantic feel this song has (i usually hate romantic stuff, so i’ll take whatever doesn’t make me cringe) and i can hear so much angels & airwaves in this song.
I AM SEEING CURSIVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVE! (with thursday!)
i discovered cursive somehow during those very musically emotive days of myspace (ahem). it might have been while watching degrassi (tng) on teen nick or the n. they used to have random music in between shows and during commercial slots, that’s also how i found the stills (aka my myspace headline).
this excites me greatly.
now all i need is the anniversary to play to make my myspace era lifetime (in a tiny venue).
the first time within the first 30 seconds that i heard this song, it instantly became one of my favorite face to face songs ♥
ugh, i can’t wait to see them in december… WITH SUICIDE MACHINES AND THE SOULS. just fuck my shit upppppp (aka i’m 40 and the next day my body is going to be broken from pitting all night)
oh dear satan, this is torture. dan, how could you make me so divisive against myself?! this is so fucking tough because both of those albums were two of the first albums that i ever purchased on my own, while i was coming of age into my own music. both of those albums are tied to so many memories and feelings.
it’s kind of tough to choose also because they are two very different albums and styles of music. when weezer came out, i remember the nerd-core looking initial emos started w the grandpa/dad sweaters, buddy holly framed glasses and airwalks and shit – they weren’t really dressing the same as the green day folks, who then turned into your typical/probably rancid, souls and nofx fans. of course a lot of us listened to both, but i feel like especially in school at the time, you were either one or the other.
i went with the blue album.
i fucking love dookie… but for me, the blue album is a weird, dark, emotional and magical trip. when i hear the intro cords to “only in dreams”, my heart swells up like the grinch’s. that album just feels like a comfortable hug with a blanket or something (i sound like such a weirdo, lol).
i recently realized that i hadn’t listened to dookie fully in a really long time, so i threw it on while i was taking a shower one night and was just like “wow, this is still just so good”. i realize that’s not a very elaborative review, lol. i mean, of course the two MAIN hits are good (#4 and #7), but the rest of that album is really just so fucking good. they were/are so talented and while of course that album is adored, i still find the other tracks underrated. i feel like since green day became GREEN DAY 2.0, normal people only listen to 4 and 7 and MAYBE “when i come around”, but the entire thing front to back is just perfect and seamless popular “punk”.
i especially love “she”, and “coming clean” is my favorite song on dookie, if anyone gives a flying fuck.
there aren’t many albums that i recall listening to for the first time, but the blue album is one of them. i still have the receipt for the cassette and own it in four different formats! it just made me feel a way. ♥
anyways, you can vote if you’d like to… there are 15 hours left on this poll:
kerrang mag asks us nerds our musical opinions every few days on the gram. i thought maybe it’d be cool to feature the questions/my opinions here… it’s better than listening to me complain about things, lol.
“tell us the three best songs by linkin park”09/09/21
runaway, in the end, numb
***
yeah, i actually liked linkin park. not that i dislike them now, i just don’t actively listen to them on a daily basis. i totally don’t mind when they’re on. i know linkin park came out in the 90s, but when that whole nu-metal thing spawned in the early 2000s, linkin park was already there but soared at that same time as the other bands.
i remember the first time my sister and i saw “one step closer” debut on MTV… we were like “wow, wtf was that?” it was a rock band with a dude on turntables, what on earth?!
i never actively followed them, but i dug around for other songs/albums i like. i guess i like their early stuff, hybrid/meteora, but yeah, those are my favorite three.
…have i ever been to a show in queens that wasn’t a local band?
: scratches head :
does black 47 on irish night at shea stadium count? oh wait, i saw the sleeping one year at flushing meadow park, but i can’t find anything via google that ever happened. i think it was some type of free vans show? i dunno. the internet tells me it never occurred, so i have no information.
WELL… i got to see rancid this weekend, and it was so nice to feel normal for a night. it was the first show i’ve been to since the pandemic happened, but it felt more like 4 damn years.
not gonna lie, singing and dancing at the same time was hard to do, lol. i was winded first song that i really started dancing (erm, in a punk pit for you non-punk show goers, it’s called skanking… if you’d like a visual, this is hysterical, and not a terrible representation at all). it’s confusing that i felt so damn out of shape and out of breath, bc i’ve been either cycling or doing aerobics on a daily basis for the last few months, with cycling being more regular for even longer… maybe it was just that when i do aerobics, i don’t use those mosh pit muscles. either way, once i started getting into it, my body just kind of kept up a little better.
the show was at forest hills stadium, which i never even knew existed. i have no idea how i didn’t know it existed, seeing as that i grew up in queens, lived in ridgewood, glendale and rego park. i’ve even walked over there a billion times and there is a freaking sign that reads “forest hills stadium” on one of the bridges in the little apartment complex/square i’m in love with, by the LIRR stop off of austin st… smh.
i’m guessing no one i really wanted to see ever played there. it was a really cool spot though, and i wish more bands would play it. when you first walk onto the property, there’s a bunch of different booths for local restaurants, lots of different things to drink, etc. and you’re on this big astroturf lawn right outside of the stadium itself. everyone was all spread out and it was nice to not be on top of each other like when you’re at a bar at a venue, in the lobby/merch areas or the floor of the venue.
as big as the area was, people we knew kept popping up out of the woodwork. i’m sure so many people were just itching to come out, too. i went to the show with kristen and missy and we ran into so many people there, from so many different eras of life. old friends, current friends, awkward people, old flames, jeff, marilyn, andrew, frank and buzz, kristen’s MIA friend brendan, a bunch of old buddies i met through greek steve… it was weird/nice to see those folks.
anyways, i didn’t care for the dropkick murphy’s setlist that i sneak peeked from setlist.fm, and missy and kristen didn’t really give a shit about them, so we skipped them. i think we’ve all seen them live, so it’s not like we missed out on them in our lifetimes entirely.
rancid was awesome as usual. i really wanted to see “red hot moon” but they didn’t play it. they also didn’t play “hooligans” or “nihilism” which would have made me very happy, le sigh. hopefully they won’t take another 4 or 5 damn years to come back.
i’m also glad i didn’t break my damn neck on a crushed can doing any dancing or circle pitting on the tennis floor surface. it seemed more grippy than i had anticipated, and it even took a few kicks to get any crushed cans out of the way that i was trying to move so that i, nor anyone else slipped and humiliated themselves. i already feel like the old weirdo at the show, lol.
***
i asked my mom if she’d ever been to FHS and her snarky little answer was “OF COURSE! i saw the cars and wang chung there, it was awesome!” and then she mentioned someone else i had no idea about… my heart yearned to see the cars, life is so unfair.
years ago, i dated a dude whose brother and best friend were obsessed with glassjaw… i soon also became obsessed with glassjaw, and kept following along with other projects that came about via the extremely talented lead singer, daryl.
one of his musical projects ended up being a band called head automatica. i was fucking THRILLED about this in particular, because this mixed up genre of a band was absolutely right up my alley. i am extremely into new wave/80s/dance/electro anything, so this new band fit right into my repertoire of musical interests. like, so right up my alley that it even featured tim armstrong (a dude from one of my favorite punk bands, rancid) on a pop dance track. what in the actual fuck?! (but it worked…)
i grew up in the 80s and have always loved new wave (especially the weird, left of center shit), i love synthy pop dance stuff, i came into various types of punk on my own and went to raves in the 90s. i feel like head automatica sounded like pieces of all of those things. it’s hard to pinpoint exactly what they sound like. i listen to all different types of music/bands and i don’t even know who to compare HA to. when it came out, i guess you could call it some type of indie pop rock, because it (thankfully) wasn’t main stream enough to be straight up pop music, not that daryl would have allowed that shit anyway… that was a genre we kind of what we kept shoving all types of “myspace bands” and indie into at the time.
so now that i’ve professed my love, i am here to profess my frustration.
i was looking around some archived bookmarks i have in my browser and came across this, which i had forgotten about:
first off: i didn’t take this video – it’s just on youtube… but i was at this show at blender theater, and i did get to witness this IRL and it was glorious. i remember while this was happening, i was instantly like “this is going to be my favorite song off of this new album”, and proceeded to shake my fat ass in the crowd.
secondly: this song, nor the album it’s on were ever released. they were performing songs off of the 3rd album live, soon before they were going to release it. it was named “swan damage”.
i googled what i could about the release of that album, and came across a few things and articles regarding swan damage. tl;dr: daryl wanted his projects off of the label they were on, and unfortunately that also affected the album. he talks about it MAYBE being leaked someday, doesn’t say who or how… just kind of eludes to it. unfortunately though, it seems as if he’s put all of this behind him. as a fan waiting for this stuff, well, that selfishly hurts.
to me, head automatica feels like “well, it’s better to have loved and lost”. like, thank you universe for letting us experience it, but we should just be grateful we had it at all? uh, we could still have swan damage probably/maybe/who knows/i dunno/please just do this one last thing.
i dunno how that’s fair, but still we devoted fans still follow DP’s moves and punish ourselves, lol.
* * *
listen, daryl, you sexy bastid, if you ever see this post… please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please (zing!) release the kraken. swan damage does NOT feel old to the people that have been waiting for years now. we haven’t heard it over and over again. this song above, i don’t know what the actual lyrics are bc it’s a bit fuzzy. i want primo quality… i would like to see this in front of me again, when we can go to shows and dance my ass off. the few swan damage tracks you did play during that era sounded so mature in the HA archive. as aforementioned, HA wasn’t like most bands out there. you did what you wanted. i KNOW who inspires you musically (squeeze, elvis costello, the jam, etc.), and i feel like you were finally applying it to this project. don’t get me wrong, i love “beating heart baby”, and fuck the label for wanting 10 of it… but that wasn’t my favorite track. “the razor”, “laughing at you” and “cannibal girl” are probably my favorites, alongside the song above. i don’t even know what it’s called… but i’m sure the mastered version would have been in my top 3, sir.
* * *
it’s so hard being a fan of daryl’s, bc while he’s a musician, he’s also a CREATIVE human being. he moves fluidly between or onto new projects, and for us greedy fans that want more of something, we get the brunt of it and get impatient. as a glassjaw fan, we had to wait 9 years for new EPs and 15 years for a full album.
on the other side of the token, i actually feel guilty having these feelings. it’s not my business to get pissy about having expectations, i guess. it just sucks that he was just kind of over it, when i felt like he was finding himself in such a great, creative place. i feel like a label and it’s expectations killed this shit for all of us.
as for side projects, house of blow, head automatica, SPORTS, color film (bad saint… i melt. ♥)… they’re all so good! i guess as fans we just have to cherish what we get blessed with by him and just be happy with it.
* * *
i got to meet daryl at an album release party via some rapper i used to know. not only did he perform there that night, but we were all in VIP, so once i was drunk enough to actually utter words to him, i thanked him. it was all i wanted to do, honestly, bc you know that whole “never meet your heroes” expectations thing… i was at a loss for many words, but he was sweet when i said that to him, and i hope he knew how much i actually meant it.
we chit chatted about nonsense i’m sure. at that very moment, i was schlepping vinyl records in milk crates for a mutual connection DJ friend, who had also performed there that night. i remember him thanking me for knowing all the words to the house of blow songs (i’m guessing he saw me in the crowd singing along) and then asked me if he could hug me (obviously i said yes, and i remember that his leather jacket was so damn stiff, that it was hard to get a good one, but i still got one ♥).
anyways, my point is… i don’t know if musicians really understand just how much music touches people, but hopefully when we tell them “thank you”, even if that’s all we can get out of our star struck mouths, they understand what we mean. music has always been a massive part of my life, and while i’m not a very emotional person, music always overwhelms me. it powers me, it helps me, it makes me emotional… music is magical.
to have another chapter of head automatica would be amazing for us fans… just putting it out there. maybe our other mutual connection that works at the shitty label will find a way to um, *cough*leak*cough* release it.
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