October 18th, 2020 @ 11:44 pm
"i am a weekday on weekends..."
39 years old
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Posts in the "confused" category.
October 15th, 2020 @ 5:21 pm
i hate the color red.
i hate red hair.
i hate hot pink hair…
unsure how i got there… but it’s now back to purple/blue, lol. it was a good month-long run. #neveragain
September 5th, 2020 @ 11:38 pm
you’re a bittersweet little shit.
as a kid: i hated it because it meant school was starting again, but was also hyped because it was my birthday (this def meant a trip to toysRus in douglaston and/or new toys to tear open via presents).
as a teenager: i hated it because it meant school was starting again, i’d have to deal with bullies and bullshit, my summer upstate was ending BUT it was near my birthday, so i could score new clothes/sneakers with the segue that it was my bday as well as needing new school clothes.
as a 20-something year old: i loved it because i was no longer in school, i was just working. if i wasn’t hanging out with jeff, christina and our friends would take late night drives around the ‘hood or random ass trips upstate just to go to hot topic (before it was big, don’t judge me). i was just living without a care in the world, and it was just a lovely reminder that autumn and halloween were near… until september 11th happened.
since 2001: i love it because it means we finally got TF out of summer and it’s coming up on my favorite seasons and holidays of the year, but then i see the memorial lights. those lights make me feel like that day all over again, and i cry.
i’ve honestly forced myself to do things on my birthday since that year. i put in effort like 5 times since then. once when i lived with my friend roommate/old friend christina (we had a ridiculous/epic house party), when i turned 25 my ex brought me to florida/disney for a few days, when i was dating sceave we rented out the knights of columbus bc our bdays were a few days apart and for my 30th bday, my sister/bf and bff threw me a big shebang at holiday cocktail lounge with a ton of my friends. every other year the only thing i do is get dinner with my sister and mom. we used to have the whole cake tradition at my mom’s house, but one year i finally broke down and told her i didn’t want my traditional strawberry shortcake anymore. i think it put a damper on bday celebrations. most bdays are a blur since my aunt necie passed away. she was the only other birthday constant.
9-11 just doesn’t get any easier. i didn’t lose anyone in the towers… but i did lose a piece of my city that day. i gained fear, sadness and the city lost its umph. anyone living here at the time will have a story – even if it’s not a directly linked story to anyone in the towers, there are just so many things tied to it. emotions, how they got stuck somewhere, how they couldn’t get in touch with a loved one, etc. – it affected us all in some way.
they were testing the tribute in light last night, and through my middle window in the dining room, it was just a straight shot ahead beaming up to the sky. it just brings me right back.
it usually means cooler weather, i can wear pants and hoodies again, i usually go upstate to share my bday with my cousins (3 of us have bdays within days of each other, and one i share a bday with, actually) and hockey is starting aka the only thing i really want to do is go to a pre-season game w my friends, but i can’t do any of that this year bc of covid.
in 2020: i don’t plan on doing too much… i do have a tattoo appointment at 1PM, but we are still stuck in covidland. this year, there is no pre-season hockey in september, in fact, it’s still the post-season because WE ARE IN THE ACTUAL FUCKING TWILIGHT ZONE. wtf even is baseball this year? i can’t go out to eat or drink (i’m not doing that outside shit on bell or in manhattan/bk/etc, chill)… my mother lives upstate and she also has RA, so i don’t even think she should chance coming down here and being around any of us, just in case we’re asymptomatic… and my sister is in LA and not flying out at all this year.
so yeah, this one is extra depressing aside from a new tattoo and cool weather.
oh, and i’ll get to cut my bangs in again soon! 🙂
no more sweaty weather bullshit, woo!
August 9th, 2020 @ 10:41 pm
i would like to preface this post with: if i’m not out riding my bike, picking up food, shopping in a store, going to a protest… i am at home. i’ve been this way since the pandemic started, and i don’t see myself going out anytime soon.
i have friends that won’t stop fucking traveling or going out (out to eat on the street, out drinking, BBQs, etc.). i don’t understand. i don’t want to be near any of them… yuck. that prob sounds so fucked up, but how are people this irresponsible going to other states with high #s of COVID cases?!
i have been around 3 of my boyfriend’s friends, kristen, my mom (once, with a mask on), matt siren, my landlady, my friend nat (once because she came up from miami and i haven’t seen her in like a full decade – we socially distanced), and my mom’s friends leo and john (who are basically my uncles) and my ex’s new wifey boo for a few mins.
THIS HAS BEEN MY PANDEMIC CIRCLE SINCE MARCH.
anyways, i was just thinking to myself, how the fuck have i not cracked up yet?
August 2nd, 2020 @ 1:00 am
at the start of this pandemic, i was not in good shape. the first few weeks were terrible and full of what i only thought was anxiety, but now i think maybe it was more than that. i had just bounced back from bronchitis, and i went back to the office for a full 5 days. that friday, they announced we were going to be working from home indefinitely. i grabbed what i could in a spare tote that i had on my desk: my laptop, my mouse and mac keyboard. i left my fucking office plant behind, and i will forever regret it (RIP BERNIE). while walking around the city that week/month, i wasn’t wearing a mask yet… a lot of us weren’t. while i’m pretty good at using anti-bacterial if i touch anything on the trains, and washing my hands as soon as i get to the office, maybe it wasn’t enough?
the first week, i was mentally shot. i tried sitting down in my dining room and living room to work from home, not at my desk in my room. it was awful, i was uncomfortable and totally unproductive. the cat was pissy i was at home, my back hurt from sitting on the couch, i had no daily routine, my starbucks closed… i was all fucked up.
i’m usually nauseous in the morning, but this was just so extra at the time. once i realized one of the three local starbucks was still open, i went and bought four of my triple iced espressos just to have for the week. i got halfway through one of them, put it back in the fridge and that espresso and the others sat there for days before i spilled all of them out. they tasted weird. this was march 19th maybe? i haven’t had starbucks since.
July 1st, 2020 @ 5:13 pm
for those of us who ride bikes on NYC streets, it’s SUPER scary having to depend on the people around us to respect our safety. in queens, especially where i live, there are not enough bike lanes. what there are plenty of, are a plethora of narrow streets with oversized vehicles being parked on said streets. this borough is overpopulated and for some odd reason, households seem to think they need more than one car. under most circumstances, i’d agree that it’s none of my business how many cars a household has, but when people live in an apartment and most of them commute into the city for work, it’s fucking annoying. i’m not even a driver that has to park a car and i find it annoying.
when i ride by bike around my neighborhood, i not only have to be aware of who is driving around me, but also who is parked and about to pull out in front of me, or who is going to open their parked car door. you know what could help that? DEDICATED FUCKIN BIKE LANES.
my bf is a driver, and he has very little respect for people on bikes. when we were living on queens blvd, de blasioshithead decided to install pedestrian walkways in addition to the bike lane for queens blvd safety, lol. the ped lanes were absolutely stupid because there are sidewalks running parallel to them AND no one is supposed to be crossing on the median anyhow. so in turn, not only did it take up bike room real estate, it added nonsense real estate into the single lane area that i lived on. it was two lanes with one line of parking, then it turned into one lane and one lane of parking. all it does is piss drivers off, LIKE MY BOYFRIEND.
we can’t be on the sidewalk, then we’re annoying for being in the street… we can’t win.
listen, i understand queens was built during another time, and it’s an unforgiving design/layout… but if there are areas where we *CAN* improve queens and utilize getting around safely on bikes, someone needs to step up and do it. especially with MTA looking like it’s about to shit the bed and we need another mode of transportation.
there is no absolute path to get around NYC. sure, we have the BK/queens greenway, but there are connections to each area – there is no safe, 100% car-free area connections. i did find this site recently, which was SUPER exciting and helpful and i found this one years ago (i think it was the same one i found years ago) trying to repurpose old, unused railroad tracks. the one i think i found years ago actually was only for connecting for bikes, not basically a park/highline type BS thing. maybe it’s not the same one… either way, we don’t need another park thing where lazy, idiot parents are letting their toddlers run loose where bikers are trying to commute – biking isn’t just for fun, we have places to go, man.
when i was still living on queens blvd, it super ticked me off that there were massive medians not being utilized for anything. why don’t we have a bike-only expressway built for us queens folks to get from near the courthouse straight into the city? i guess maybe having a few main entrance/exits – but not many would be SO helpful. it could be like a raised/highline type of system with two lanes on each side going in either direction.
i was inspired by the airtrain one day while driving to JFK. when they built the airtrain, they did it directly above the van wyck. i mean, it’s dead air space, why TF not? look at these two maps i screenshot:
these are both perfect examples of what i was talking about where the empty medians. the left picture is of western QB, and the other one is by my old apartment on the east end of QB. it’s completely empty! sure, there are plenty of trees NYC decided to plant, but that’s it! rehome the wonderful treesies!
i mean, clearly after this pandemic, the city has no damn money for anything – but this would be SO helpful if it would become a reality. what really grinds my gears, is that stupid de blasio did this whole ViSiOn ZeRo BS and didn’t even think of something like this? no, instead he wanted to give us a ridiculous stupid trolly system from red hook up to astoria, lol. we’ve gone DECADES without idiot, hipster, domestic transplants that needed to connect in the various neighborhoods, let’s just keep it that way. i feel like there’s something romantic about closing off certain parts of NYC to others. just let NYC be for a while, fuck… but i digress.
do you know how many people living in elmhurst, jackson heights, corona, etc could benefit from having a straight-shot into the city by bike? sure, there are bike lanes in *parts* of queens, but this could be BICYCLES ONLY, ABOVE cars and SAFE… if you’re not from ASStoria or long island city, clearly you don’t seem to matter… fuck us outlier folks, i guess.
May 5th, 2020 @ 10:38 pm
i can barely find any posts about this online anywhere… and of course, as usual, i am the unpopular opinion on this, probably the 1%… BUT i fucking LOATHE these standard, fat nail polish brushes.
this stupid, evil, sloppy ass brush that comes with every bottle of polish nowadays REALLY GRINDS MY GEARS.
i am not a novice when it comes time to painting my nails, and i chalk this new default up to goon ass women who can’t paint their nails properly at home. it makes ME one of those goons bc of how fat and sloppy it is. i can’t hit the edges of my nails properly. omg if you can’t paint your nails yourself GIVE MONEY TO A NAIL SALON TO DO IT FOR YOU. that is the point of them… give people a job and keep a dang local business open!
i would complain less if i could just buy the freakin’ regular, thin brushes separately, but i can’t. i would have to swap out the top myself which would be a sloppy ass mess, and i don’t even know if that’s possible, tbh. also: the only places i find those types of things are from ebay or sus websites. i don’t buy things from china directly, so i guess i’m just fucked. oh wait! i can buy a set of nail art brushes that basically look like paint brushes! why would i want to do that, WHEN I HAVE BEEN PROPERLY PAINTING THEM FOR 30 YEARS WITH A SHORT, THIN BRISTLED BRUSH THAT COMES WITH MY NAIL POLISH PURCHASE?!
fuck these things, and fuck every board meeting that approved this nonsense making them the default.
i just bought a bunch of new barry m. nail polish and they all have this shite wide brush… i am so annoyed.
even if i did buy replacement brushes, i don’t want to have to swap out whatever brush i’m using. i have like, 300 bottles of nail polish in my arsenal.
ALSO: WHERE THE HELL DID BRUCCI NAIL POLISH GO?! i can’t find them in stores ANYWHERE anymore.
April 24th, 2020 @ 5:12 pm
i went over to my bed and i found my sister in a baby seat. she looked newborn. i was actually WITH my sister when we found her. i knew it was a clone of her… it was very weird. i picked her up and hugged her so tightly for what seemed like hours. i kept whispering in her ear that i was sorry, and i was hysterical crying.
* * *
at some point, i put my sister down and walked back into my house, and kendall jenner and two friends were walking around my house, specifically i remember her being in a living room and she refused to pay any attention to me. no matter what i said, she would just not make eye contact or acknowledge me… it was so frustrating.
it was a dream, man… i mean, i could have hooked up with kendall jenner. wtf is wrong with my brain?! 😐
April 12th, 2020 @ 11:45 am
i’m watching this show on netflix and someone on the show just said “when you’re an artist of any kind, you want to be relevant. so when you feel it slipping away, it’s a little sad…”
i am a creator/artist of MANY different things and i 100000% did not agree with this. i instantly chalked it up to probably being a virgo, lol.
i literally do not give one shit if you like my stuff or find me relevant or not – i care about the people closest to me enjoying the fruits of my labor, but people in general, no… i don’t care if you like my art or goods, and i’m sure that hurts me in the end bc i do have online shops and i rarely market myself. i don’t even mean that in a snobby way, even though it’s probably coming off that way. i’m a creator bc i enjoy it, and if you like what i make, that’s awesome! i don’t expect anyone or everyone to just jump onboard, but if you like it the way i’ve fallen in love with other makers, that’s awesome. sometimes it happens, sometimes it doesn’t. i’m not trying to be the next big thing. i find creating things therapeutic, and if i can benefit from it financially sometimes, great!
anyways, i still have continue some research on that whole “i’m a virgo and that’s why i don’t care”, but i did find an article that made me nod a few times, though.
tl;dr: summing up a virgo:
February 3rd, 2020 @ 5:20 pm
i’ve let go of 4/5 friends over the last decade or so. i only do this when someone has done something super shitty to me, they’re selfish friends or well, just completely psychotic. i’m sorry, but i don’t have time for people that are only in it for themselves. we all have enough shit to deal with on a daily basis, to then have to deal with shitty or fair-weather friends. that being said, mi amiga bonita sarita tweeted this today, and it couldn’t come at a funnier time:
“if i have to think twice about whether or not i can trust or rely on you, we shouldn’t be cool.”
* * *
i should have trusted my instinct about a week ago when one of those folks came knockin’ at my door. i figured i’d give it a shot, but apparently this one is just shaaaaaaaaaady? i dunno. maybe it was a drunk add? either way, someone added me, never said anything – iiiiiiiiiiii then reached out and then realized she unfollowed me.
what in the literal fuck was the point?
i gave her the benefit of the doubt even confirming her add, and maybe i’m jumping to conclusions bc she just didn’t respond in a reasonable time frame. i mean, i wasn’t looking for an essay – just left an icebreaker, but once i realized she unfollowed me, nah. right out the window. what a waste of energy.
if they’re gone, they’re gone for a reason. leave ’em where you left them. trust your gut, and def keep ’em as far back as you can – especially when they chill with corny nimrods and losers. queens is a small fucking galaxy, and unfortunately when you get rid of one, they find the other weeds you cut away. yuck.
if there’s anything i’ve learned over the years, is that there are so many gross, two-faced, fake shitheads within my friend groups. some might seem like *oMg sO mUcH fUn* and/or good eggs, but a lot of them have got disgusting insides… and for some reason, they like to show me those sides, but not others. so many lessons learned.
you would think nearing 40 that i wouldn’t be dealing with this type of bullshit, but here it is gravitating towards me as usual. i did nothing to provoke this add, and i honestly don’t understand why people are so fucking odd.
if you’re not going to have an adult conversation with me, just leave me the fuck alone.
January 25th, 2020 @ 2:49 pm
i saw this the other day in the back kitchen at work:
as i was cleaning out my own coffee mug (cobra kai), it caught my eye and i got super irritated and borderline offended.
i realize that i am clearly more to the left and a progressive person, which automatically shoves me into a special category of people (being a PC person). i don’t have a problem with that, but i can see idiotic normal people thinking i’m being dramatic when i complain about this innocently, ignorant and insensitive mug. whenever people realize someone gives a dramatic amount of a shit about others, they’re instantly criticized for it… so please, fuck off if that is also your impression and if you don’t agree with me.
January 19th, 2020 @ 5:44 pm
in the year 2020, how do people just completely fall off the face of the internet?
now that i’m a working adult with a decent salary, i would like to buy things from certain vendors and makers that i couldn’t afford in the mid/late 2000s. perfect example: i just got lost in a damn wormhole trying to find judy of joodito.
i was cleaning out one of my bedroom closets, and i found two joodito jackets that i purchased when i was younger. i have no idea how i even pulled that off, because they were both $200 and over. i didn’t have money like that, i must have purchased those on tax refunds or some shit, lol.
anyways, i still love futuristic/modern shit and while i do stumble upon sellers on etsy that have these style jackets, but they’re just not the same. i often just often times just settle for weird nike jackets, but JOODITO JACKETS (and clothing)… lawd. they were fucking amazing.
what’s confusing the shit out of me is that she just is NOWHERE… like, not on any social media that i can find. i did find an email address maybe she still uses, but i feel like that’s taking it a step too far. i remember when she was still active on etsy, she turned on the “shop is taking a short break” message, but i figured it would be temporary. since then, there’s been no update. same ol’ “short break” aka, like almost a decade?
just *POOF* she’s completely vanished.
her clothing was right alongside the style and quality of early supayana pieces. i DREAMED of someday filling my closet with pieces from them. upcycled, weird, rad, LONG, modern pieces. nowadays, yana is just doing kids clothing… aka my dreams have been shattered, lol.
anyways, if you’re not familiar with what judy’s pieces looked like, here are some timeless, and amazing samples.
JUDY WHERE ARE YOU?!
the fashion world is way less cool without you in it!
January 19th, 2020 @ 12:20 am
having weird earrings, large ear holes, cute plugs.
i do not miss:
ear smell x 80000000, washing my earrings/ears on a weekly basis.
* * *
having half of my hair dyed a weird colour.
i do not miss:
having to worry about what shampoo type or water temperature i’m washing that side of my head with, updating my dye every two weeks, saying a meaningless “thank you” to every “OMG I LOVE YOUR HAIR!” followed by 88 questions (especially first thing in the morning before i’m caffeinated).
* * *
sometimes i wonder why i don’t feel like myself, and then i remember it’s bc two main things that always made me, me, are not currently happening. oops.
oh, and i still live in this hell that is suburban, northeastern queens.
to put in effort, or not to put in effort… that is the question.
January 12th, 2020 @ 4:56 pm
coming from a designer of graphics and accessories, i’m sure i sound like an asshole bashing anyone’s creativity (eyeroll) OMG EVERYTHING IS SO INSPIRING… but i also come from the punk and rave scene of back in the day NYC. i lived through venues and clubs that don’t exist anymore. i lived through the days of the east village at it’s PEAK. i saw the uprising of classic bands that are now punk legacies in tiny shithole venues. SO, i really don’t care if i do.
this has been my social life, style, friend circle and culture since 1996. when i see it misrepresented or appropriated, i get irritated. authenticity is important to us! draw a fucking line, fashion folk… punks aren’t trying to inspire you, they probably hate you.
December 15th, 2019 @ 2:09 am
01/01/10 – i moved into my first apartment by myself. it was glorious.
i was still working down in dumbo at edit, i went to ranger games on the regs – sometimes multiple times per week, i was getting closer with my sister again, i hung out all the time with lauren, jen, jes and erica the most, i was being a miserable schlep bc of a guy, i went to shows all the time, i had hair down to my waist (it was when i really started dying it more), i was freelancing a lot, oscy was 5 years old, i twitpic’d more than i blogged, i flickr’d even more… i took my first instagram pic in november of 2010.
this new, exciting time gave me a lot of creativity, but towards the end of that year things became a bit stressful. as aforementioned in a recent post, i should try not to romanticize this era in my life that much. as much as i now appreciate my tiny, CHEAP apartment that i had on my own… it was just one room. my bed was in the same room as my kitchen. it was at a time i was truly lost emotionally, and eventually that year, i lost the job that i loved very much. i wasn’t dating anyone for quite a while, and i was very lonely in a place where i barely knew anyone.
i was so glad to NOT be living anywhere near what i considered to be home (northeast queens).
* * *
12/14/19 – i currently live near where i grew up… aka home… aka where i never wanted to be again (by desire/suggestion of my current boyfriend).
i currently work in the hell hole that is midtown, near radio city (mind you, it’s fucking christmas time at the moment), luckily i’m at a company i really enjoy, they renovated madison square garden so now ranger tickets are too expensive to go on a regular basis – in fact, i MAYBE get to 3 games a year now, i see lauren here and there now (her work schedule/location of where she lives) – i purposely don’t speak to the three other gals that took up most of my life in the earlier part of the decade, i have been dating someone for multiple years now and we’re living together, i still go to shows – but fucking bands keep playing festivals and i could give a rats ass about going to a fucking festival, my hair is almost down to my waist again (heck yes, still dyed weird colours), i freelance sometimes but squarespace and wix are the cheaper alternative and i don’t argue it, oscy is going to be 15 this year (EW!), twitpic doesn’t exist anymore, i rarely blog and i definitely don’t do it on an open, personal level (thank you online stalker fatty), flickr has sucked asshole for a long time now, and IG – don’t even get me started.
my sister lives in LA and my mother moved upstate this year…
i feel family lonely.
my mother has stressed me out SO fucking badly throughout this decade, but most of all this year. it’s seriously shaving years off of my nerves.
October 30th, 2019 @ 12:35 pm
i often wonder to myself, did people that were born in the 50s/60s feel the way i’m feeling NOW, in this era with the changes in technology? i am heading towards being middle aged in the 2020’s, and it’s fuckin’ weird.
i come from a time when it was important to have a person computer in the home. i got wayyyy into graphic design and coding (hence, i still have this and other websites), and here i am, bored. i am bored because the things i used to use are now gone. AOL, AIM, myspace, online boards. AOL/AIM were from the same era, and then facebook took over myspace. when one hates fb so much, what do you do now?
i’ve bitched about this stuff before, so i don’t want to get toooo into it, but i looked at VSCO again today and was re-inspired to complain. why are we letting fb/instagram scoop up all the money when there are other apps out there, or apps that could be developed? COME ON NERDS.
it’s funny how vsco it’s a thing now… i was using vsco just as an editing app back in the early 2010’s because it introduced me to the “fade” element of photo editing, that other apps didn’t have at the time. i don’t remember why i stopped using it, but now it’s a full-blown app (taken over by teenagers). i was thinking – the kids that use it now, they were around 8 years old then?! so weird. at any rate, i ended up signing in to see what the back end is doing there. apparently they have free and paid account levels. i think that’s pretty cool, and it was reasonable at $20 per year if you do the paid version (mainly paying for editing presets/filters/etc.). i respect that more than i do facebook.
i used to pay for flickr every year but it turned to shitwads a few years back, and instagram and fallen to the facebook shitbrains and is overrun with shit ads (if i see one more fucking stay at home mom, who is BLESSED, with 3 kids and a dog, with a curling iron in her hand and her mouth open like she’s just been surprised, i’ll fucking puke). THEY ARE ALL SO FUCKING CORNY OMG GET A REAL JOB. i hate it.
i do appreciate that they FINALLY got rid of the “following” tab, but it’s still SHITE at the end of the day.
vsco doesn’t seem to have public comments/views, etc. – the owners of it don’t want people to be focused on likes for the sake of society, but i think people would be completely fine with the ello-type eye that shows how many people have seen it vs. double tapping… it’s simple, why don’t these apps just have feature built in? that would make IG so much better.
i don’t use stories, so i am guessing that’s what all the little thirsties are pacified with at the moment vs. worrying about views vs. likes.
anyways, so flickr vs. ello vs. VSCO – but are there any other options we can get on the same page with? i’m BORED with everything and i’m not young enough to want to do bullshit like tiktok. flickr doesn’t seem to have improved all that much, and everyone that DID use it, doesn’t anymore. is VSCO filled with too many teens to get into it? i dunno.
i want to keep meeting rad, new people with common interests, not staring at idiot selfies.
October 13th, 2019 @ 10:37 am
time warner (i refuse to acknowledge that dumb new company name) decided to start advertising that they’ll soon be streaming “mad about you”. if you don’t know what it is, it’s a 90s comedy sitcom about a married couple living in NYC, dealing with day to day life situations. i loved the show when it was on back in the day, but whenever i hear the damn theme song now, i get all PTSD about it.
WHY YOU ASK?
tl;dr: my first boyfriend in high school (who i lost my v-card to) – i used to sleep over his house. i prob said i was sleeping somewhere else, but his parents were usually asleep early, so we’d hang out and fool around at night. that show would always be on for some reason, and we’d fall asleep together with it on in the background. apparently i wasn’t sexually adventurous or consistent enough, and he eventually left me for my “best friend” at the time. i have always associated that theme song with him and that small, horrible window of my life.
August 11th, 2019 @ 11:51 pm
i just read that people were protesting in the amazon store today bc apparently the MONOPOLIZING asshats have been aiding technology to ICE/homeland security. i read several articles about it before i decided to post about it, but if you need a quick run down, here ya go.
last week, i got into it with a bunch of shithole trumpettes on an instagram post regarding advertising at citifield. apparently they thought allowing chick fil a to advertise on the foul poles was a good idea IN NYC… A WEEK BEFORE PRIDE NIGHT. well, i’m boycotting the mets until those shits are gone (if you’re unaware, they are anti-LGBTQ – i don’t care if they apologized for it or not – and have also donated to a company that’s affiliated to conversion therapy). i should honestly boycott them until the fucking wilpons are no longer in power, but that’s a whole other story. if only all people could get onboard at the same time and hit em where it hurts the most, aka the wallet, we’d have more power. by “we”, i mean people with brains and consciences, that want change in this hateful world.
i told my boyfriend last night that i found out a bunch of fast food places that are either more for dems or republicans/conservative, and some of our favorites were on the list. i told him i didn’t want to support the conservative ones anymore, even if that means rattling my comfortable first world preferences.
what spawned this post was that like everything else for people my age, they bitch and complain about it but they don’t stop using certain services. amazon is a monopoly affecting so many different things we’re not even aware of, and everyone hands money to them with absolutely no problem – even knowing they dislike jeff bezos. it’s because of sheer laziness and “convenience”. it’s unreal how people have zero principles just because it’s easier not to stop using it.
i haven’t purchase a thing from amazon in two years. i had a gift card my manager gave me from my last job for xmas that i used last year, and that was that, but i haven’t purchased anything since sometime in 2017. i try to tell people to stop using it all the time and they just laugh it off. these are the same people who are complaining about injustice. i don’t get it.
look at the shit going down with equinox and soulcycle… trainers at soulcycle are pleading that people boycotting is taking money away from them, and that they don’t stand for what the CEO/owner is doing… lol. well, y’all live in tHe GrEaTeSt CoUnTrY oN eArTh, go start your OWN business and bring those people with you. clients are usually loyal enough to follow… just a thought.
again, IT IS ABOUT NO LONGER LINING THE POCKETS OF THESE DISGUSTING IDIOTS.
clearly we can’t get everyone on the same page, so now we all hypocritically sit back and watch others suffer. it’s gross.
WAKE UP, PEOPLE.
it’s sick and sad that right wing dopes don’t “get it” until it affects them personally. they really don’t want to open their minds or admit that they’re wrong. it’s insane.
this country/world/time we’re living in is so depressing. it’s come so far, but not really all that far at all. in fact, my boyfriend and i were watching the CNN docs about the decades, and the stuff on the economy, war and racial segregation back in the 60s was so confusing and especially heartbreaking re: the segregation. i sat there crying watching that disgusting crap. i can’t believe how disgusting humans can really be, and how things haven’t fully changed all of these years later.
PLEASE STOP USING AMAZON AS YOUR GO TO.
use local stores so they don’t close – this is common sense. also: STOP GIVING THESE FUCKOS MONEY.
PLEASE DON’T BE RACIST, HOMOPHOBIC, TRANSPHOBIC, ETC.
look at yourself in a mirror. you feel like yourself, you know yourself and how you feel about others. gay/trans people feel like that’s themselves. why is this such a hard concept? people with skin that isn’t the color of your own, IT IS JUST SKIN. wtf is wrong with you racist tools?
DO SOME READING AND RESEARCH BEFORE YOU HAND OVER POWER TO CERTAIN COMPANIES.
BE NICER TO PEOPLE.
DON’T BE SEXIST.
KEEP YOUR RELIGIOUS IDEALS TO YOUR DAMN SELVES.
this country DOES NOT EQUAL christianity, and even if it did, jesus would be HIGHLY disappointed in a lot of you and what’s been going on down here.
i’m sorry, i’m just so sick of things going so damn horribly with no light at the end of the tunnel. i have to live for another few decades, i’d like to do it seeing SOCIAL AND ECONOMICAL PROGRESS, without the endless struggles.
July 18th, 2019 @ 11:36 am
sooooo social media UX complaint tiiiime…
i mainly use twitter and instagram (yes i am signed up for sites like pinterest and tumblr, etc – but i rarely use them). over the last few years, the UI/UX has changed for many popular websites. change, i have to learn to accept it, i get it… but when websites and services aren’t being responsible about UI/UX because of design trends, i get irritated.
earlier this year, twitter started preview testing a new desktop layout for people… why? i don’t fucking know. there was nothing wrong with it. i feel like twitter is the least popular of the social media giants, and they’re trying so hard to fit in.
over the years, i’ve made a lot of friends via twitter and i’ve had IRL friends on twitter. often times, the IRL friends are just like “i don’t get it” (re: twitter). i don’t really understand what someone doesn’t understand about using it. you talk, people talk back, you follow brands/news/whatever. if i follow a band, i can see very important merch or tour date updates. i don’t use FB, and instagram’s algorithm is HORRENDOUS, so twitter is handy for me. for people that “don’t get it”, this layout isn’t going to make people “get it” anymore than they already don’t.
i’ve been avoiding this shithole desktop twitter update like the damn plague. i turned it on when they first offered it and reverted within minutes. it’s fucking awful, but now it’s been rolled out officially, and i can’t get out of it.
from a developer’s standpoint, i can see what they were trying to do. on mobile/responsive/things below a laptop/desktop, it was running on the react JS library, now they’ve applied it to desktop. for me, changes like these are horrible, because i have a very specific workflow and a way to use the internet. clearly THE CORRECT WAY BECAUSE I AM A FUCKING WEB DEVELOPER AND NOT A LAZY IDIOT. i don’t do well by sites forcing me to do things their way. ie: in the trending area, i can no longer right click and open things in a new tab, now you’re forced to click it and it opens in the same window. that is VERY bad for user experience and is taking you away from your timeline.
react makes things go faster. i saw a reddit page dedicated to talking about it, and of course the nerds were all “oMg iT’s So MuCh FaStEr, nOw iT iS nOw aMaZiNg”. shit like this irritates me because unless you’re on a 56k modem, how fucking fast do you need something to go exactly? were you having to wait an extra 0.5 seconds for something to load? AKA the trending/who to follow shit that nobody wanted anyway… these people are absolutely ridiculous and have no patience.
since this is what twitter has now opted for, i’m affected in 837983 different ways, and am seriously considering jumping ship. i’m not going to be frustrated while using something that’s supposed to be a recreational thing. LETTUCE DISCUSS…
April 11th, 2019 @ 12:05 am
today’s inspiration: I MISS MY PRE-INTERNET BRAIN.
i often think about when i was a kid, and days/months/years felt like forever. i am currently 37, but i feel like i’ve been around for 100 years. i try to think back even to 15+ years ago, when i was working at a video store, and i felt like i had all the time in the world. i worked 40 hours per week, but i didn’t have a commute. even so, that’s still only tacking on about 2/3 hours per day now.
how was life so different then?
i used to work a full week, i went to night school to finish off two credits i fucked up on in high school and yet i managed to spent infinite amounts of time with my two best friends, my boyfriend at the time AND managed to code for hours on end at night.
OK first off, having ridiculous work hours definitely helped. not having a 9-5, M-F job definitely helps break up a monotonous life. i loved working weekends and having weekdays off. being an adult and not having flex hours really fucking sucks. but i digress. my original point: is the internet really making our attention spans and time feel that off? if so, why the fuck do we keep using it?
February 11th, 2019 @ 11:42 pm
i have to work on a mac at work. a laptop. this is so that i can pick up my computer and pop into meetings throughout the large office, with remote workers and such… i get it. i respect it.
BUT IT SUCKS.
macs are fucking awful.
fun fact: i own an iphone. i’m not sitting here just randomly bashing apple products bc OMGz WINDOWS/ANDROID R tHe GReAtEsT. android phones are fucking awful, no fucking thank you. for me, mac computers = android phones. they’re both not intuitive and are over complex for no good fucking reason.
when the IT guy was installing adobe programs for me, i asked if i could switch to PC and he said that i was mainly on a mac bc of adobe products. he says “they work better on macs”.
first off, LOL.
secondly, i’ve been using photoshop in windows since 1997. since about 99/00, photoshop HAS NEVER EVER EVER CRASHED ON ANY OF MY PC COMPUTERS EVER. no crashes, no waiting with a spinning rainbow thing, no sudden closing, no errors. literally NO ISSUES.
i only know what that spinning rainbow is because of my friends bitching about it or posting screenshots of it while using photoshop on macs.
in closing, i don’t think that’s the best argument anymore.
January 12th, 2019 @ 11:33 pm
my mother and i were hanging out with my cousin kevin today, and she was shooting off all of the things she became allergic to while she was pregnant with me (4/5 different fun ones). she was also then listing all of the things she ate on a daily basis that was just completely OD…
she had mentioned my aunt would make her ice cream sundaes dripping in chocolate sauce and whipped cream, and that she would go home and eat an entire row of oreo cookies. she also went on to talk about how much pizza she ate.
what i took from this conversation was this:
firstly, i rarely go after desserts, though i don’t hate either she often indulged in.
secondly, in probably one of the most unpopular opinions in the entire world, FROM AN ITALIAN PERSON… i fucking hate shredded mozzarella cheese.
thirdly, i blame these behaviors and hatred of shredded mozz as some type of hereditary mutation because my mother ate like a caffone. again, i’m italian. wtf is wrong with me?
– i was the kid always pulling shredded mozz off of her pizza.
– i don’t want it on top of my lasagna or baked ziti (yes, i realize both things are baked and require it to be on top of it).
– thinking about pulling a handful out of a bag and eating it straight up could make me want to die.
– i don’t want it on my salads.
– keep it out of my chipotle bowls.
– i don’t want it fucking anywhere but in the garbage.
i mean, i really fucking just hate most cheese and i don’t know how people eat it. i especially can’t comprehend how people snack on them and eat them straight up and not on a sandwich or something else.
the cheeses that i DO like are as follows:
fresh mozzarella (yeah… fresh. cold. in a ball, in a slice, whatever, i want it.), ricotta cheese, muenster, american (yeah, yeah, i know, i’m gross), pepperjack, whatever is on tacos… string cheese SOMETIMES. after like two bites, i usually want to puke. i don’t know wtf type of cheese they are.
there you have it, my hatred of cheese.
i guess if you really hate me, now you know how to take me down, lol.
January 6th, 2019 @ 2:16 pm
so when i was 16, it was the year of ball chain necklaces, kool-aid stained hair, airwalks, cool sk8r and pacific sunwear surfer shirts, jncos, etc. i had been in love with gavin rossdale for like, 3 years. bush was all the rage at that point. i wasn’t as musically versed as i am now, so of course, they were the greatest band EVARRRRRRRR…
my first concert ever was bush when i was in 10th grade, and i felt soooooooo cool pogoing at an alt rock show (lulz). that concert at madison square garden was actually the thing that brought me and my first love together. the first time i ever spoke to him, he was wearing a razorblade suitcase shirt and it was the topic of conversation that i used to get to him. for that, i will forever be thankful to bush, but i digress…
this afternoon, i stumbled upon a recent article talking about how fans hated the lyrics of sixteen stone and basically gavin was going on about his lyrics as artistic, magical and fluid and blah blah blah… my eyes rolled so hard. over the years, people have always accused him of riding the coattails of gwen, and it always used to upset me to read that. she’s just in a different, incomparable category. she was in a pop band, she had a pop solo career apart from NxD, she was running two fashion lines, etc. – she was all over the place. in interviews, she used to say he didn’t love no doubt or her music. she made him sound very dismissive and she also mentioned that only he listens to dark/deep stuff, which is clearly the opposite of no doubt. those comments made it seem like he was unsupportive or jealous or something. between her saying that and reading his interviews, he sounds like he’s got this weird ego where he thinks bush was this underrated, genius band or something. it’s kind of awkward. no offense to his talent, but bush had their moments, and then they did not. lots of did nots.
bush faded out over the years and didn’t stand the test of time (i’m not mentioning post-razorblade bush, bc i totally fell off the bandwagon – just the early stuff). in fact, i revisited razorblade suitcase today, and i sat here scratching my head as to how i ever liked it. sixteen stone is still good, despite the bad lyrics (i have always questioned wtf he’s ever talking about in songs, no matter how much i loved them), but the real gems are the b-sides.
i rarely listen to sixteen stone in its entirety. i REALLY have to be in a mood to listen to that type of music. that happens to me with lots of bands, but that is definitely an album i only pick up once a decade, but i do listen to individual tracks on a more frequent basis. “machinehead ” is an awesome song, still is in my mind. i could probably listen to “everything zen” and “little things” on a more frequent basis as well. honestly, i’ve always hit skip on “glycerine”, and i could live without it.
okay okay, i’m getting sidetracked… THE B-SIDES.
so if you’re a kevin smith fan, you probably know the aggressively grungey song snippet “bubbles” from the movie mallrats, even if you didn’t realize it was bush. i don’t remember what year i finally saw mallrats, but it was way before the internet was chock full of info as it is now, so i couldn’t find more info about it. i always knew that i heard gavin’s voice in that tiny song snippet, though. there was no b-sides or a single (that i can remember) released for it, and i don’t know why, but i didn’t think to buy the mallrats OST. it kind of just remained a mystery for a long time.
this afternoon is when i youtubed that mallrats bad boy (listen to it here and LOL @ the comments), and while it’s VERY 90s, holy crap, that’s actually a good bush song. like, i would listen to it today on a regular basis. i went to see what it was on, and it says it was on a reissue of razorblade suitcase, along with 3 other songs – AND THEY ARE ALL FUCKING GOOD. i am sitting here in awe and confused as to why that they never released these on studio albums or as singles.
maybe they were *tOo CoMmeRciAL* for gavin or something? what a waste of singles that could have been doled out.
September 14th, 2018 @ 1:10 pm
i saw twitter trends going on about the hurricane in the carolinas, so i clicked in and browsed a bit… i kept coming across pictures of overhead with “PRAY” written across the hurricane, and it occurred to me just how strange that image really is.
outer space imagery and nature (SCIENCE) mixed with praying (RELIGION)… K.
as i’ve gotten older, i find religion more and more unbelievable and laughable. i obviously can’t prove it wrong, but it just doesn’t make sense… science makes the most sense. technically, i can’t make sense of any of it, so i guess it’s kind of a waste of time even typing about it. i digress… the aforementioned overhead pictures were taken from space. they’re snapshots of nature being natural on a planet… nothing magical there. it got me thinking: how does space coincide with religion?
* * *
(taken from here) nature, in the broadest sense, is the natural, physical, or material world or universe. “nature” can refer to the phenomena of the physical world, and also to life in general. the study of nature is a large, if not the only, part of science. although humans are part of nature, human activity is often understood as a separate category from other natural phenomena.
* * *
the idea of nature being a “phenomena” seems weird to me because we can leave wherever we are right now and touch grass, soil, water, other people. you can’t touch or see god, heaven or hell.
i was brought up catholic, and i don’t remember anything ever being spoken about regarding outer space. i specifically mean in bible, CCD or church teachings. in my head, i guess i had that mystical image of an old, long-bearded, white man sitting in space with both hands full of clay with earth floating in front of him or some shit. when i was a kid, i used to try to think about what came before everything, and freak myself out to the point that i couldn’t sleep. i didn’t really put much thought into there being another possible explanation for everything until i was a teenager.
i don’t really want to get into the whole “i think religion is a crock of shit” right now (i really do), i just wanted to talk about how confusing i find it that religious people look at those images and still think there’s a god, heaven, hell and/or purgatory.
what is space to them? do they think we’re just flying and floating around in a big box with stars and planets in it and heaven is right above it and hell is right below it? do they think that we go through doors to get to them? you can go up in a rocket, go above our atmosphere, into space, look down at our measly planet and keep floating away from it. planets are things, we are things, ACTUAL, PHYSICAL THINGS…
if you were in said rocket, floating away right now, and had the eastern half of the USA in view, you’d see THREE storms moving in from the west… BAD ONES, and you want us to “pray”?
pray for what? pray them away? pray that people don’t lose their lives, homes, businesses, belongings? pray for the homeless people that have nowhere to go or the means to survive? pray for the animals that don’t have homes that could potentially die if they don’t go where they need to by instinct?
if there is a god, why isn’t he or she stopping these storms? why are any people or (domestic) animals homeless? why does he let these bad things happen? why isn’t he/she doing anything while listening to all of these prayers?
that is one very messed up god.
space is straight up science. do religious people really think god created space? for me, i feel like it’s all based on fear and control or i think they need this type of magical definition so that they don’t lose their shit (i know, this is getting deep). i don’t think people can handle the anxiety they get thinking about all of it.
either way, these thoughts and prayers aren’t doing jack shit… i wish mankind would wake up and realize that it’s all a crock and stop saying “thoughts and prayers”. every time i read those words, i’m just like, you’re not even thinking about what you mean in depth, you’re just saying it.
August 29th, 2018 @ 12:59 am
(this is gonna be ranty, sorry…)
i really LOATHE seeing those like, inspirational quote images on instagram. it’s so fucking annoying… the android numbskulls really fucked things up for us when instagram became available to them. what’s even worse? quotes along the lines of “the best revenge is success” type of petty ass images. you know the kind… “watch them squirm”, “bury them with a smile”, etc.
i am the complete opposite of worrying about petty/revenge shit, so i can’t relate to this type of bs. if you’re immature and dumb enough to think your success is going to piss someone off, you’re already being a shitty idiot. this leads me to assume that you live in a magical land where you think the universe is doing things. if you ARE a believer that the universe is doing things, you probably also believe in a little thing called “karma”. i’m pretty sure if you’ve considered karma a real thing, you shouldn’t be worrying about wishing others any bad vibes. not only is it bringing you bad energy, but it’s also a massive waste of energy.
if someone or something is bothering you, try to keep it on the back burner in your brain. don’t waste your time worrying about how they feel, how you hope they’re feeling bad shit, how you hope they’re jealous, etc. – in the long run, “nobody gives a fuck more about what you’re doing than you do”. they probably don’t care.
the more you work on being a greater human, the less you worry about what other people are doing/feeling. you only have one life to live, don’t waste it on petty nonsense.
August 24th, 2018 @ 10:50 am
I FINALLY SAW SPARTAAAAAAAAAAA!!!1
i’m so glad i finally got to cross them off of my bucket list. if you don’t know who they are (as i did not), apparently these dudes (or some of these dudes over time) were in a band called “at the drive-in”. i didn’t really research too much bc i don’t care, honestly. as soon as i saw that the lead singer was the dude from the mars volta, i was all “YUP that explains why i never bothered”. i haaaaaaaate that dude’s voice. so where a door closes, a window opens – and i love hearing jim ward’s voice spilling out of it. much bettah!
i don’t know how i never heard of them before, but i guess it’s bc i really don’t give a shit about music genres the same way i do punk… i love a lot of post-hardcore, but i never really explore other PHxC bands just because i like some or even a lot of bands.
♥ ♥ ♥
picture it, salt lake city, 2011… an attractive peasant girl is falling asleep while getting a time consuming tattoo done. relaxing music was playing in the parlor… she comes to find out after being woken up by her tattoo artist (lol), that the soothing, melodic music was a band called “sparta”, and an album titled “porcelain”. she instantly fell in love and never looked back.
♥ ♥ ♥
unfortunately for me, i came across sparta during their own nap that they fell into as easily as i did on that tattoo table. they had taken a hiatus 3 years prior to that day, so i had to wait all of these years for them to wake up and play. it was worth the wait… i am so glad to see them in such a small venue (bowery ballroom). they also played my favorite song, which made my cold, tiny heart swell.
actual footage of me at the show:
jim also asked all of us to, if possible, to donate to his friend running for senate. i’m assuming you being here are probably like-minded to me (COUGHCOUGHFUCKTRUMP AND COUGHCOUGHFUCKREPBLICANS AND COUGHCOUGHFUCKCONSERVATIVES), so i figured it’d be a good idea to post it here. we need more progressive minds running the show, so show your support if you can.
July 28th, 2018 @ 1:46 am
after i had posted earlier today, i was thinking to myself… “why do i still have a website (/blog)?” the term seems like it’s almost obsolete in terms of personal websites or blogs. i’m also going to be 37 this year… but that’s a dumb reason to stop doing this. i have some weird fixation and anxiety that people need to “grow up” at some point. like i will just magically give up dying my hair, getting tattoos, dressing like a 13 year old sk8r boy or using this website. i mean, i don’t want to get married nor have kids, so do i even have a growing up point? newp.
i’ve been doing this since the late 90s, and i don’t like NOT having one, whether i commit to posting to it or not. i gained so much inspiration and a bunch of friends bc of these types of websites over the years. i guess part of me keeps going in case people do the same with me. random online friends came about that way, so why not? i can see in my stats that people still come here, even if they’re not interactive (i know, it’s not exactly a wall or an instagram comment, so you clam up), so i guess i just keep going. it’s also quite therapeutic in a way and helps articulate my thoughts better.
my ex once told me that he thought i was a “public figure” or something of sorts on here. i kind of find that funny/weird, but i know what he meant. maybe i’m not relevant in a circle of bloggers or webmasters anymore, but it’s okay. i like having a site like this available to people just like when i actually find one that still exists.
i love (harmlessly) going through websites. between seeing other people’s interests and recommendations, and just relating issues to other people’s, so you don’t feel alone in this shitty world, i appreciate these types of websites. for me, it’s not about making myself seem cool, getting attention, etc. – if you had this type of a website, i’m sure you’d understand that. it was mostly about the layout/design work, the coding… etc. – the content is the last thing i think we worried about. i think our mission was just being ourselves and like finding people we can relate to. we’re not all just narcissists.
i don’t post as much anymore bc i had (or probably still have) an online stalker. no matter how mild of a stalker she was, i don’t want her to know what i’m doing or where i am, so i no longer post about stuff like that. it kind of blows, but it’s the reality that comes along with this caca. it makes me want to use tumblr more (even though i don’t), at least for the images, so i can talk less about myself (although i don’t really talk much about personal shit here anyway).
i don’t design like i used to with extravagant layouts, and i refuse to budge this amazing myspace layout, so i dunno what to do with this anymore. i know this layout probably just looks like classic myspace to you guys, but it’s customized so much. the ads at the top, everything in the sidebar, the top friends area is all custom coded on the admin side so i can easily add and not have to code anyone in manually… it’s way more impressive on the back-end that you’ll never see. FYI: i had to restructure this entire site solely from classic myspace images via google. sometimes from really shitty small images. so yeah, #nerdalert
i really want to finish a project/zine-ish type thing that i started that’s all designed in web 1.0 like back in the day. maybe in 2019.
i don’t think i really had too much of a point, just blabbering on about nonsense as a blogger does…
thanks for swinging by, i guess.
July 18th, 2018 @ 2:33 pm
so out of nowhere (not that i’m complaining), a buzzfeed author wrote an article about gwen stefani yesterday. tl;dr (it really is long): it mentions her relationships, but mostly focused on how successful she is, and about the fight gwen has with her image and how we perceive the act/character of gwen stefani. honestly, i didn’t realize this act gwen even existed. it made me even more angry than usual towards her, lol. it’s just like, who even are you?
* * * * *
now, as a teenager of the 90s, i got THE gwen. the gwen that everyone looked up to, wanted to look like or wanted to bone. for me, when i first saw/heard “just a girl”, i wasn’t like YEAH, OMG GIRL POWER!!!1 – i can’t relate to that feminist spark. i totally agreed with all of it, but i mostly just simply heard something that was right up my alley bc i loved punk/alt rock (i didn’t know what ska or ska-punk was yet), but i also heard synth in it. i also knew right away that her style – i wanted parts of it. right away, NxD really just appealed to me and got the ball rolling for a lot of the genres of music i’d come to grow into.
May 8th, 2018 @ 11:36 am
lmao at all of the butt-hurt trumpettes trying to call “cultural appropriation” for the met gala this year…
in case you missed it, it was called “heavenly bodies” and themed to catholicism.
now, as much as i loathe the term “cultural appropriation”, i can see why people call for it when it comes time to fashion, BUT fashion doesn’t just steal them for no reason at all. the designers are ARTISTS that appreciate beauty when they see it. i can understand how people find it exploitative to a point (i wanted to barf when the met gala was punk themed :cringe:), but they want to show everyone something they appreciate or that inspires them, whether they handle it respectfully or properly or not in someone’s eyes.
in my mind, people calling cultural appropriation think like this (at least going off of the majority of internet comments):
fashion = dress-up
dress-up = costumes
costumes = halloween
wearing costumes like it’s halloween to represent a culture = disrespectful
in my mind, designers are like:
LIFE = FASHION
fashion = dress-up
dress-up = trying things you don’t normally do, celebrating and expressing it through clothing
trying things you don’t normally do, celebrating and expressing it through clothing and showing people = art
it’s clearly way different views. maybe my views/opinions are wrong… the only thing that i can think of to keep people from complaining is only having models of said culture walk (celebrities aren’t models, but it applies to the gala as well). maybe even having a curator of that culture work alongside the designers? i’m sure people would still complain. we all live to complain. there is no magical contract an entire culture can sign saying it’s okay, and sometimes people of cultures don’t even care, so there’s never a good solution. i don’t have the damn answers, i’d just love people to stop fighting over this bullshit.
the point of my post here was that the vatican willingly supplied and participated in the gala and gave the met the pieces… also: catholicism isn’t a culture, lol.
as always, all of the MAGA turds really should READ before they say things.
PS: blake lively’s dress was the best, don’t @ me.
April 25th, 2018 @ 1:52 pm
SON: Mom, what’s white privilege?
MOM: *Presses Play*
Watch as an angry white woman tells police to shut the fuck up, questions their intelligence repeatedly, waves hands in their faces, moves wherever she wants, defies their requests, and lives another day to tell the story. pic.twitter.com/dJ3matIyKa
— Shaun King (@ShaunKing) April 25, 2018
if you don’t find this to be a serious problem, you need to reevaluate yourself. what’s even worse, is that this is a woman in a position of authority (the port authority, more specifically).
this video is a shocking example of white privilege, and i’m so disgusted. this woman is getting away with verbal assault of police officers BECAUSE SHE IS WHITE. this is a problem.
if you’re not worried about people who would be directly affected by the actions that police officers would take in a different racial situation, that’s pretty scary (and shitty).
white people and the police need to be better than this. if this was a PoC, who knows how it would have ended. this is the type of shit that i think about when i think about that ignorant “all lives matter” and “blue lives matter” crap. it’s all tied into racist bullshit. if this woman was any other PoC, they would have already been on the ground – arrested, being manhandled or dead. prime example: this recent violent arrest at waffle house.
“what did i do wrong?”
chikesia clemons was asking what she was being arrested for. she asked for a manager’s phone number to make a business complaint and it ended in this situation. she sat there not flailing or disrespecting the officers, she kept asking questions. i understand you have to comply with police officers when they’re arresting you, but look at what’s going on. that’s terrible. compare it to the original video i had posted and look at the difference. if that was chikesia pulling that verbal assault, it would have been way worse. in fact, i’m sure if the woman in the first video was black, she would have been arrested for that.
good ol caren turner gets to tell an officer he may “shut the fuck up” and doesn’t get talked back to, touched, choked, shot or arrested and gets to live…
not that i should have to even mention it, and i’m not trying to justify myself, but it occurred to me that if i was talking to certain people in my family, the ignorance would probably spew out some sort of complaint that i’m bitching about white people. i’m not just bashing white people for no reason. FYI: i’m white (irish, german, polish, italian), but i do not feel the need to be “proud” to be white for the specific reason of this article. i’m proud not to be part of the problem.
for me, being white means i carry some european ethnicities and physical-features, and while i respect those cultures, i don’t practice them. i don’t have family traditions or roots tied to those cultures, so they really don’t mean anything to me.
i was born in the united states, in NYC, and i am more of a new yorker than anything, which is a melting pot of cultures that i can relate to. i’m american. that doesn’t equate to white, which i think a lot of racist rednecks seem to think americans are/should be. that america is NOTHING to be proud of. the only thing we can be proud of as americans, white or otherwise, is striving for and practicing ongoing progression, acceptance and being good/supportive humans to each other.
i can’t think of anything i should be proud to be *white* about, and if you can, that’s fucking weird. go read some history books and get back to me.