September 13th, 2021 @ 11:33 pm

my uncle bob died this morning (not of covid – i feel like it’s just the default thing you need to point out nowadays). he’s the only uncle i’ve ever known – the other one died as a child in an accident. my mother had two brothers and six sisters.

growing up, i had my queens aunts and two upstate aunts/uncle. whenever school was out, we were usually upstate – summer vacation, winter break, spring break, etc. – fishkill, beacon, wappingers and poughkeepsie were my home away from home. we mainly stayed with my aunts, but we’d pop over to my uncle’s for swimming, since he had a big pool.

in the early 80s, he spent more time coming downstate to see us, but towards the late 80s, it kind of dwindled. not sure why, as he didn’t have grand children really until i was in JHS, but whatever. it didn’t make a difference, we saw him enough while we were upstate.

i know people don’t believe me when i say that i remember things from when i was like 2 years old, but i do. i actually remember my 2nd birthday party in my mom’s small apartment in flushing. i remember uncle bobby was coming down for the party – she kept telling me that or it was brought up multiple times during the day in conversation. i specifically remember getting a cabbage patch kids baby carrier as a gift at that party. i can remember broken visuals from the party, too. it’s just my first memory of uncle bobby.

although i wasn’t as close to him as i was to most of my aunts, he was still a person that you just picked up where you left off. he was always trying to get you on a good path, always checked in about how you were doing in school, talked about your future, always gave wise advice. he was funny, sweet, a dedicated family man who didn’t deserve to die with the ailments he obtained towards the end. the damn universe handed him a plate of health shit.

at the end of the day, uncle probably contributed to some of his health isues from smoking for years… if you’re a smoker, please try to stop. my uncle had pulmonary fibrosis, among other issues. no one should go out like that.

i can’t believe both he and my aunt judy both died this year. it’s just so overwhelming thinking about the fact that i only have two aunts left and that my mother is only 1 of 3 siblings left. time is going too fast and my family is dropping like flies… i hate it. it also doesn’t help that it happened during this never ending pandemic. like, i’m so burnt out – i don’t want to deal with anymore death.