October 30th, 2020 @ 3:48 pm
well, we’ve made it to the end of october!
it seems like the days, weeks and months fly by in the bat of an eyelash during this pandemic. this year is extra shitty bc we’re stuck in this stupid pandemic and our usual events and hangouts can’t happen. all of these residual storms from hurricanes isn’t helping matters, either.
we can however, drown ourselves in spooky ass horror movies to make ourselves feel better!
here are some picks from my youthful horror upbringing, in case you’re bored of watching the same shit you’ve watched 88 times (not that there’s anything wrong with that). i won’t go into too much detail, and i’ll link the trailers. in no particular order:
1. one dark night 1983 (trailer) – tl;dr – teenagers locked in a mausoleum, SCARY STUFFS!
this is an early 80s movie with more atmosphere than actual scary/jumping elements. YES, it’s cheesy. YES, it’s dark. If you like to get into your head and freak yourself out, this is a decent one. I feel like if this was reworked today, it could have some potential.
2. night of the comet 1984 (trailer) – tl;dr – teenagers, comet flies by, lots of people die, survivors take over the movie (and city/world).
okay this trailer doesn’t fully do this movie justice. it makes it look like some weird teeny bopper shit, but there’s more to it. i guess it’s not fully HORROR, either… but nevertheless, it’s a goodie… with some zombies. as an ex-video store clerk, i would have put this in the horror section.
3. the entity 1983 (trailer) – tl;dr – woman lives with her kids, keeps getting violently attacked and repeatedly raped by an invisible entity.
this movie scared the shit out of me as a kid. first off, anything with demons scares the shit out of me… but this one is especially violent and scary. it’s also based on a true story. the sound effects, especially when the entity surfaces adds to the fear. even just watching the trailer, i was getting creeped out.
4. when a stranger calls 1979 (trailer) – tl;dr – a babysitter keeps getting phone calls from a creepy man, inquiring if she’s checked on the sleeping children she’s assigned to watching.
okay, the tl;dr is a bit misleading, the movie is kind of a two-parter… but the first part of the movie is pretty infamous and leads into a future story as well. i think any horror movie based in the 70s or 80s is instantly scarier bc of how different times were. the less technology, the harder it is to be saved. it just seems creepier to me. plus hearing the old rotary phone ringing, it’s enough to make people jump out of their skin bc of how loud those damn phones were (yes, i’m THAT old).
i also remember not hating the remake, but i’m pushing the OG.
5. halloween iii 1982 (trailer) – tl;dr – a crazy, warlock channels the energy of stonehenge to kill children as a sacrifice via latex halloween masks and a tv commerical. one man is out to stop him.
i don’t want to harp or generalize too much, it’s been covered to death, but the majority of halloween fans loathe this movie bc michael myers isn’t in it. well, whatever… i love it. this soundtrack is creepy AF – super synthy and the atmosphere is dark and scary. in addition to the tl;dr, there are robots the the warlock sends out to kill people and they’re emotionless creepos. anyways, it’s good! watch it!
6. body bags 1993 (trailer) – tl;dr – if you loved creepshow, you’ll likely love body bags!
this is a set of stories, not just one movie. it’s also another john carpenter gem (and tobe hooper! #RIP). also, the cast itself is just… HELL YES. anyways, i wouldn’t want to give any of the three stories away, just go watch it somewhere.
7. paranormal activity 2007 (trailer) – tl;dr – invisible. presence. caught. on. film. fuckthatshit.
these movies actually scared the bejesus out of me. the first one was good, i think i remember liking the second one even more. either way, i couldn’t sleep for weeks. i would yell if my cat was staring at one thing for too long… i just can’t do invisible things.
if you’ve not watched these or heard of them (are you living under a rock?) jk… it’s about a couple that films weird things that have been going on in their home, to prove there’s something haunting them. things moving, sounds happening, etc. there are a whole bunch of creepy things that are documented each night on these tapes. doors closing, sheets moving, the people getting out of bed and standing for HOURS watching the other person sleep… just, have a nice day this is terrifyingly creepy ass shit going on.
8. silent hill 2006 (trailer) – tl;dr – a little girl has dreams about a small town called “silent hill”, her adoptive mother tries to find silent hill IRL to help her adopted daughter, yet finds a whole lotta scary messy shit.
if you didn’t play these video games, you should have. they were scary AF. i think the adaptation the writer/director came up with was great, and they did an amazing job with the characters and the atmosphere. this is dark and creepy, maybe a bit on the slow side, but def worth the watch.
9. thirteen ghosts 2001 (trailer) – tl;dr – a man inherits insane glass house from a relative that dies. while arriving at the house, he and his family accidentally break spells that keep ghosts help captive in the house. the ghosts are trying to get out and kill people.
there’s more to the story, but it’d give it away. i will say the ghosts are scary AF in this movie. the special effects were amazing.
10. the hills have eyes 2006 (trailer) – tl;dr -family taking a roadtrip in their RV gets stranded in a desert, after taking a shortcut they weren’t supposed to. mutant cannibals that live in the desert take over, get violent, murderous, even rapey.
while i do like the OG version, this one gave me a horrible anxiety attack while i was in the movie theater. i actually had to get up and leave for a few minutes to compose myself. it had more of a story to it, too. i think it was a really good modern-day remake.
11. jason takes manhattan (trailer) – tl;dr -jason vorhees takes manhattan. why? bc in absolutely ridiculous horror movie fashion, jason is brought back to life via electric current underwater in crystal lake, and hitches a ride to NYC by sneaking on a boat, lol.
okay, we have to have at least ONE main character horror flick… i choose this one bc it’s not only a cheeseball horror movie but also, it’s hysterical aaaaaand repping my home city.
may i just note: the goalie billboard is my favorite part. 😛
12. terror train – (trailer) tl;dr – college kids have a new years eve costume party on a train. before boarding the train, some killers murder their peers and steal their costumes… you can only imagine where this one is going.
is it cheesy? absolutely. the masks are pretty creepy, though. i also like to put myself in people’s shoes and that’s how movies fuck with me. imagine being stuck on a train, with nowhere to go? 😐
there are lots of jamie lee curtis horror squeals… and come on, vanity and david copperfield are both in this movie. it’s a hidden gem!