July 18th, 2018 @ 2:33 pm

so out of nowhere (not that i’m complaining), a buzzfeed author wrote an article about gwen stefani yesterday.  tl;dr (it really is long): it mentions her relationships, but mostly focused on how successful she is, and about the fight gwen has with her image and how we perceive the act/character of gwen stefani.  honestly, i didn’t realize this act gwen even existed.  it made me even more angry than usual towards her, lol.  it’s just like, who even are you?

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now, as a teenager of the 90s, i got THE gwen. the gwen that everyone looked up to, wanted to look like or wanted to bone.  for me, when i first saw/heard “just a girl”, i wasn’t like YEAH, OMG GIRL POWER!!!1 – i can’t relate to that feminist spark.  i totally agreed with all of it, but i mostly just simply heard something that was right up my alley bc i loved punk/alt rock (i didn’t know what ska or ska-punk was yet), but i also heard synth in it.  i also knew right away that her style – i wanted parts of it.  right away, NxD really just appealed to me and got the ball rolling for a lot of the genres of music i’d come to grow into.

to be honest, at first, it was like “this bitch is with my man” (gavin rossdale, because apparently in my feeble mind, i had a chance, lol).  so i hung a poster of NxD on the back of my door and smashed her in the fotch every once in a while.  all the while, feeling guilty and hypocritical bc i loved no doubt.  i struggled for years with my feelings towards her.  i guess i always felt weird bc she’s a celebrity.  she’s no one i know, but i guess it just sort of happens when you’re a fan of someone, but i digress.  16 year old jess wanted to find out everything i could about her, so i didn’t seem like a weirdo for just disliking her.  i read some interviews and i had opinions, but before the internet really got massive, there wasn’t that much to go on… so i just irrationally hated her for a while, lol.

i jumped ship through rock steady – i hated that album (i still only stand by liking about 2/3 songs off of that album), but i stayed with her through her two solo albums and loved most of the songs (that bananas song, girl, no.).  i know there were songs before her solo album that were red flags, but i started really WTFing when i heard “danger zone” and “serious” off of the first solo album.  it got my curiosity going, and i started reading.  once there were online news feeds, wikipedia, etc., i got to look into her more, and i didn’t like what i was reading.

she seemed clingy and man-obsessed (yes, with only the 2 that she had – but it was weird obsessions on both counts).  i read articles where she talked about joining the swim team just to stay thin (not to be *healthy*), and it gave a negative spin on it regarding her self-proclaimed insecurity.  in recent years, she’s even chubby-shamed herself in that infamous picture of sting signing her police album for her, and she’s openly admitted to being vain to harper’s bazaar in the past.  whether she was using the word seriously or not (she probably was), that’s not mentally healthy.

what really pissed me off and was the most problematic comment for me, was that she followed up with a comment requesting not wanting to be lumped into the same “sex symbol” category as katy perry or gaga, etc. in a super negative tone.  girl bashing other pop stars for that?  apart from the band that got her famous, she chose to make herself a pop star, and she’s strutted around 90% of her career with her entire torso exposed.  these comparisons are bound to happen, but there’s no need to be a bully about it.  once you’re in that spotlight, you have to realize you are an icon of sorts and an inspiration for girls and women.  you shouldn’t be saying those things, just say nothing at all.  if you don’t want to be in the spotlight, then don’t be there.  you can’t expect to be famous and then not be looked up to, that’s not how it works.

anyways, my main problem with the article was that it featured gwen boasting about being “the furthest thing from a rock girl”, “totally the opposite of a slutty wild woman”, currently “more spiritual”, which probably annoys most of her fans – especially the ones that think “just a girl” is a feminist anthem.

i can understand not wanting to claim the title of a feminist – personally, i don’t…  but what i mean that i’m not an active person going to marches, creating petitions for feminist-driven issues, etc., so i’d feel bad claiming that label.  don’t get me wrong – if you try to tell me what to do with my uterus, the hulk will come out, but i also don’t think feminists are wrong and sit there mocking them like she is (mentioning/basically bashing bands like L7 and hole).  it just made me feel like gwen stefani cashed in on this whole persona that isn’t even real.  like at the end of the day, she goes home and says her prayers before bed and judges everyone that doesn’t.

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i haven’t been able to stomach her since she divorced gavin rossdale.  her behavior and the way she’s spoken about him in interviews, written songs about him, just dragged him has been disgusting.  she’s played the victim for so long and dragged out her own marriage over the years…  she’s openly said it in songs.  the cheating situation wasn’t a surprise to me.  as aforementioned, the songs “danger zone” and “serious” came out in 2004 and made me realize that was already going on, and that they probably weren’t going to last.  if he did actually cheat on her, it sucks, but that’s life.  don’t plaster that shit all over the place with your kids seeing it and making everyone just hate gavin.  it seems like their marriage was doomed for a decade before that even surfaced anyway, she could have just walked away quietly.

i read comments that women are leaving on news articles featuring her and blake and they just have NO idea who she really is.  you can tell they’ve not read any articles about her mentality, insecurity or have even listened to her music over the years.  a lot of them are country fans that are just completely clueless and defensive of their favorite ex-mulleted drunk (barf).  it’s so annoying.

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as a no doubt fan, i feel like this the end for them.  dreamcar now exists (although it seems that they’re on hiatus) and she’s got a residency…  i mean, i obviously don’t know for sure, but i haven’t seen her with any of her old band mates recently or since she’s dated le country bumpkin, especially her ex and “best friend”/life long friend tony kanal.  paparazzi snap her all the time and there’s been nothing with them reunited.  why couldn’t no doubt play with her at her residency, especially if she’s performing no doubt songs?  dreamcar seems to have fallen off the radar for the last 7 months, so i don’t get it.  did she even bother to ask them?

maybe they don’t like who she’s become either.  maybe i’m reaching here – but tony kanal is a HUGE animal activist and blakeshitface is an avid hunter.  maybe that’s leaving a bad taste in his mouth.  wtf do i know, though?

if she’s the reason that they’re done, i’ll never forgive her, lol.

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all we wanted was for her to take a break between relationships.  find some time to recuperate, become stronger, be creative and happier on her own, without a man.  TWO FUCKING MONTHS LATER she rebounds with someone that is completely gross and wrong for her, but she’ll hang on for dear life (or until he cheats on her?).

she’s going on 50 but is acting like a 16 year old, and it’s so discerning.  the PDA, she introduced her kids right away, she’s writing song bashing her ex and then other songs that make her sound like she’s waiting for an invitation to prom… i can’t.

as successful as she is, i find her to be a very weak, insecure woman and it makes me SO, so sad.

WE WANTED MORE FOR YOU, GWEN 🙁