October 19th, 2015 @ 4:42 pm
oh dear god, i need to park my fat italian ass in one of these so badly…
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October 19th, 2015 @ 4:42 pm
oh dear god, i need to park my fat italian ass in one of these so badly…
February 9th, 2015 @ 11:26 am
although i find the competition sort of driving/amusing and somewhat inspiring, there comes a point in time where it’s just… draining.
February 1st, 2015 @ 11:48 am
i had taken the day off last friday initially to move, but not all of my friends couldn’t help me that day. since it didn’t pan out, i moved fully (furniture/everything large) on saturday instead, but i still took the day off to get things prepped to move in on friday night. my mom took me back and forth twice with the weird odds/ends that didn’t fit into boxes or bags properly, which was super helpful. at any rate, on friday, the only thing i really had to do besides clean and pack was go to the post office and head over to the new place for the cable installation. once i got home from the cable installation, i was in the mood for some good cleaning/packing tunes, so of course “i wanna dance with somebody” popped into my head.
while i was watching the video, there was a series of thoughts that i had.
a) her hair is huge and awesome.
b) i seriously belonged in the 80’s as a teenager or adult (as per usual).
c) i wanted almost every dress she had on in the video.
d) i asked my male coworker to memorize and recreate all dance moves the males did in the video.
e) i was talking to my screen and telling whitney she shouldn’t be gone already. it’s such an awful thing that she is no longer with us. she was so beautiful and talented, and it made me so sad that it gave me goosebumps.
i remember watching that video as a kid and just loving how much fun she looked like she was having. all of the neon and colours going on is still so inspiring til this day.
that was friday…
i come into work today and i read that her daughter is now in a coma, pretty much on her death bed. 🙁
that is fucking awful. i hope it wasn’t drug related, that would be so fucking sad… and who’s to blame? unfortunately, let’s think back to the 90’s… her substance abusing father had whitney doing all of that shit also. she gave in and did it as well, but still. it wasn’t a part of her life until he entered the picture.
her mother died because of drugs, and her daughter couldn’t handle her death. either depression or drugs could probably be to blame. that is such a horrible snowball effect because of that man.
maybe i’m wrong… but i doubt it, and that is so terrible.
October 13th, 2014 @ 4:01 pm
(lmao… i look like a squished barbie in the panoramic picture that rob took.)
last year, one of my instagrammy friends had gone to visit the old TWA flight center at JFK (it’s not been a functioning terminal since 2001). i had missed it, and set a goal to go this year. there were talks of it become a hotel, but i don’t know how true it is. either way, i didn’t want to chance it. if in case this was the last year, i wanted in on it.
i’ve always been super into architecture and modernism when it comes to decor style, so this was right where i wanted to be. i wish i could see it fully restored, but i’m glad i got to experience it either way. the ground floor lounges/bars were amazing and reminded me so much of Kubrick’s visual style. i wanted to move my life into there and never leave.
i went with rob (yes, he has again reappeared in my life since our fight in late may). something keeps drawing us back to each other, i’m guessing this time around it’s friendship (i didn’t want to romanticize it). it’s very weird timing, because i kept recently having random dreams of him and even feeling like i was going to run into him or something. last friday, i had a dream about him, and that very morning he emailed me. soooo weird.
anyways, we had a nice day… we did the TWA tour, and then went to smorgasburg before watching the ranger game at night.
i forgot what it’s like to just have fun with him, since i got so immersed in the bullshit when we were “dating“.
being just friends could possibly work… 🙂
October 13th, 2014 @ 3:57 pm
if everyone knew even half the shit that goes on, woof.
…but i shall try.
July 22nd, 2014 @ 11:20 am
the stones and the beatles outlived the ramones… how insane is that?
i wasn’t fortunate enough to be born in a year where i could have grown up to see the ramones play at their peak (sads.), but i was fortunate enough to at least see marky play (yes, i know he wasn’t an original, but whatever, he’s still a fucking ramone – and an amazing one at that). when the misfits disbanded for the 2nd time, jerry only brought on marky to tour with them, and they always had a ramones set – which was always rad and sounded great.
i have a billion memories of the ramones… first and foremost, and i always think of him when i’m listening to them – i’m forever grateful for my mother’s friend leo. i’ve posted about him in the past. the man taught me many things, one most importantly (i’m not even joking) – was to LISTEN TO THE RAMONES.
one day back in 1991, my mother had a wedding to go to. i have no idea why she didn’t bring her boyfriend at the time… i guess no one could babysit my sister and i, but she stuck us with him for the day. he probably didn’t know what to do with us, so he brought us to his friend leo’s house. which was mind blowing, a super-rad time, and definitely changed my life. yes, simply going to someone’s house on day, had changed my life…
January 8th, 2014 @ 12:27 pm
it’s inspiring to start at the beginning of the year with a new number, but i don’t believe in, or live by resolutions. i’m the type to just change shit up and commit to it anytime [F5]… i wonder if that’s a virgo trait, or if it’s just me. either way, last year was horribly rough for me, and i’m glad it’s a new year. i’m looking forward to trying to ensure this one is a better this year, and seriously getting my shit together and on track for my 30’s.
i have to learn to focus on important things, rather than shit situations and shit people. so all of those shitty things that happened in 2013 will be out of sight, and out of mind this year.
i’m going to focus on creativity/marketing all that i make/create, networking, making/saving money, learning more wordpress, and getting out of my stupid apartment/neighborhood. i have my few friends that aren’t complete try-hard, flakey, lying, selfish, insecure, narcissistic, manipulative, ungrateful psychopaths that i thoroughly enjoy. hopefully those people and i get to do big things this year (traveling?, shows).
September 26th, 2013 @ 10:51 am
i don’t know what to do with my hair!!!
i want to go red again (all over) and dye the front/left or maybe the entire front section/bangs teal, and i’ll probably do the tips black, that’s how i had it the last time.
BUT then again, i just bleached the front/left section and now it’s just waiting for something. more bleach? a colour? right now it’s my natural dark brown all over with the front/left and half of my bangs bleached, with some old green showing through, so it’s minty… i was bleaching my bangs so that i could get all of the summer blue out, and i was going to do enchanted forest again. lie locks has been pulling at my heart strings though.
do dark green and fluorescent purple go together?
of course, why am i even wondering?
then i’m thinking, well if i don’t go red again, should i just go black again?
black, fluorescent purple, white and dark green…
September 25th, 2013 @ 8:35 pm
i have always had a love/hate relationship with gwen stefani. most of the time, it’s just like WTF IS WRONG WITH HER, vs. hate. i shouldn’t even say hate (okay okay, the hate is mostly trivial BS things vs. her… hate meaning, eyeroll inducing things such as: the girl can’t dance — i wish she’d stop moving awkwardly, why are is she ever dressing like a chola?, stop being vain and having low self esteem, why are you still with gavin?, why are you not with tony?, what is with those stupid little buns all over your head?), hate is a strong word.
what right do i even have to judge or form an opinion? she’s a celebrity, so i guess fans can’t really help it. i think it’s more just as a fan since the 90’s, collecting all of these albums/songs as stories, and having this person that you make up in your head. the person that i have molded for her is like… she’s awesome, fun, cute, confident, stylish, talented, colourful, and all of that inspires me fully via great vibes. then whilst listening to her songs, everything i adore about her just gets pushed aside because of her ridiculous seemingly self-destructive self-esteem issues?
February 22nd, 2013 @ 12:51 pm
all i want in life is her beauty, style and hair. too much to ask for? lol
January 23rd, 2013 @ 5:33 pm
if i know you in real life, and for some reason you’re reading this… i hope you realize that i’m dead serious about this post…
this year, i have decided that i have NO PATIENCE for ANYONE’S bullshit. if you irritate me, repetitively force your opinion on me, disrespect me, do some coo-coo bean/retardo high school dramatic bullshit, i’m done. i’ve also additionally hit a point where i really don’t give a shit if you think my idea of “friend-loyalty” is irrational or immature or not, on this next subject…
July 18th, 2012 @ 2:23 pm
September 13th, 2011 @ 1:16 am
sorry i’ve been neglecting this website AGAIN… what a fucker i am.
september has finally rolled back around, which means my birthday is coming upppppppp! (next week) – ugh, 30! #barf (apparently i’m STILL not handling it well) and that leaves changing will be just around the corner<333
anyways, i’ve got a lot to be happy about lately, which is why i guess i haven’t really been updating… aside from having another great vacation in salt lake, i’m feeling greatly inspired lately. i’ve been reading again, i downloaded a shit ton of new music that i’ve replaced or haven’t had before, i’ve obtained an amazingly sweet & sexy boyfrannn, i’ve got new clothes/shoes (refreshing), i chopped off all of my dead/dry hair (over eight inches!) and ryan callahan is the new captain of the ny rangers!
SO, aside from having a wonky work life, everything is feeling good lately.
in fact, so much that i’ve been doing a lot of thinking. mostly about people that i’ve cut out of my life, and i’d like to let that shit go. i’m getting older, and it’s nothing but bad energy. unfortunately for me, some of the people i’ve cut out of my life still talk to people that i haven’t. so it’s not like they’re never not in my life somehow, which kind of sucks. at any rate, i’m huge on perspective and i really think i need to write down who i can’t stand, and why. maybe i’m being irrational on some levels (although i doubt it), but if i can’t get them fully out of my life, maybe i should face what it is that i can’t stand about them to make sure that i’m handling it correctly. i just have zero patience for shitty people and the few people that are coming to mind i just shake my head at.
while i’m feeling this good, i want to tackle a bunch of things that bother me. this year already, i’ve conquered three/four important goals and i just want to keep it going.
i didn’t get a new tattoo in utah this time, and i’ve got the itch. i’ve gotta stop by three kings to make an appointment for my next idea: hockey sticks combined with autumn leaves in the shape of a laurel wreath. #fredperryinspired #UNF
July 20th, 2011 @ 11:40 pm
i’ve kind of been in this personal rut for a while, and usually when shit starts to really get the better of me, i just take the reigns and hit the refresh button. since i can’t control most of my surroundings that are affecting me, i will change what i can. i figured it was time to buy a new domain… i’ve owned posed-to-death.org since june of 2004, and for two years i kind of fell off of updating it. i only really started using it again in 2008 and since then, it’s full of a lot of personal turmoil. break-ups, fights with friends, moving out, being miserable and single, confusion, etc. i feel like it’s like dirty bathwater or something.
things keep changing around me, but i’m at this awful standstill. my heart is again is bruised, the company i’ve been working for, for three three years, has dissolved, my best cousin (who is exactly a week younger than me) is pregnant and about to be a mother within the next month, one of my best friends is on the verge of practically being engaged and is moving in with her boyfriend next month, my family sucks, i live in an annoying area of queens – kind of out of the way for most of my friends for daily hangout sessions, etc.
i’m just like…
i’ve been meaning to get myself a PMA tattoo for a few months now. i want this tattoo somewhere visible, so that i’ll always have that perspective when i need it. maybe a forearm or the side of a wrist. like life in general, instead of bitching and moaning about my seemingly shitty life on this website, i’ll try to feel positive vibes and not have it polluted with complaints about my personal life. i want to not drive myself crazy or throw pity parties. #F5
so i kind of just wanted a new domain name… so i purchased this domain after this deftones song. it’s my third domain named after a song, and it’s one of my favorites off of the album “white pony”.