#NYR, going to shows (punk, ska-punk), hanging out with my bf and (genuine) friends, making jewelry, rad nail art, dyeing my hair crazy colours, graffiti (as an observer), cold beer, graphic design, cold brew/iced lattes, #NYM, netflix, horror, autumn, making t-shirts, legos, bargain shopping
it’s really hard for me to say i have a favorite *anything* in music. i go by subcategories for everything. however, i will say, if i had to choose top 5 favorite genres… this would be top 3. i have such a love for these what i like to call “adult contemporary” (VH1’y) songs, lol. they hit me right in the feels. they remind me of being upstate with my cousin and screaming along in her room or the car. they remind me of nights i finally had my own room at the age of 14 in 1995, and i’d let Z100 or MTV play in the background while i wrote in my dumb diary or played SNES for hours.
whenever it’s gloomy, rainy, foggy or autumnesque out, i feel like it’s the perfect time for these types of songs. i equate this weather to comfort. anyways, if you don’t already know/listen to these songs, maybe you’ll enjoy ’em 🙂
sheebs posted a tweet/RT from two other people on IG today, about basic/UO shopping lemmings just now exploiting and “appreciating” asian snacks, while she was (/they were) made fun of years ago for enjoying on the regs. i immediately related, but in a different way (which i also immediately felt bad about).
i can’t relate to cultural appropriation on any level at all. my father wasn’t in my life until i was 21, and my single mom didn’t raise me instilling any cultural traditions or anything. i’m 4 ethnicities between two parents, and i was mostly (barely) raised w the german and irish upbringing. my mother and her very large side of the family also never concentrated on cultural traditions. they weren’t raised that way, either. i think we were raised more as christians than irish/germans (and none of that religious nonsense for me anymore, thank you).
when sheena posted the thing about the snacks, my brain defaulted to my subculture, which i find more of my soul fabric than my own actual cultures. i feel like people might find that offensive, but hear me out.
i got bullied for being into all of that stuff when i was younger, bc kids are fucking jerks. now it’s all the rage bc of bullshit urban outfitters and F21, and MERMAID/UNICORN HAIR, etc. – i get defensive and angry about that. i always feel like it’s not comparable to cultural appropriation, because i don’t have punk blood running through my veins… well, the blood that i do have, from the roots of the places my ancestors came from – i really could care less about it. that sounds really stupid and disrespectful, bc had i grown up with those types of traditions, maybe i’d feel differently. the truth is, those ties are broken. there are now 3 generations of us between those times. even if i went to the little town in ireland where my grandmother and her ancestors were raised, how am i connected to that? i’m already 36, it’s out of reach. i don’t mean to disrespect my family history, but clearly, my family didn’t care.
anyways, i default to punk, but i suppose alternative is a better description of my lifestyle and culture. i was raised loving metal and gothy stuff, i found grunge and punk in my coming of age years, and started going to raves in my late teen years into my 20’s. that music and those concerts has always been there for me, through bad and through good. i’ve made tons of friends over the years through this subculture, and it means more to me than being italian, german, irish or polish.
i guess the point of this post is just that i hope if anyone else finds it, hey, you’re not alone if you feel this way also. i don’t think it’s so wrong comparing it to cultural appropriation. maybe it’s bc i’m a misfit kid from a broken, single parent household. i dunno, but i have absorbed a lot of culture over the years, and i’m happy to have it all in my heart, brain and expressed through my creativity.
i’m a complicated bird… i’m all over the place in interests. i rarely post about sports, bc i feel like people are 50/50 on giving a shit about them. i am on cloud nine today, so i just wanted to post about how proud i am of these mets (and yet worried).
we won the NLDS against the dodgers last night. the last time the mets made it to the NLCS was in 2006, where we blew it against the cards. this devastated me so badly that i stopped watching baseball altogether for a few years. that’s why/how i started watching hockey again. year after year, the heartbreak was adding up, and getting way too hard to deal with…
i’m the self-proclaimed birthday grinch… i could give two shits that it’s my birthday. i don’t really try to make plans unless it’s a milestone, i don’t want any cake, i don’t do that thirsty shit where i post about it online… i’d rather avoid it altogether. i hate getting older.
i will ALWAYS make plans to go to shows around my birthday, and this year was a doozy! the adicts came around again and played on thursday, and rancid played on friday.
the adicts played after bands i had no interest in seeing (psycho/rockabilly bullshit). they didn’t go on until 11PM – which didn’t agree with me and sceave’s old people bodies (lol). i was also fighting some sort of sinus/cold thing for 2 days, so i was so fucking tired by the time we were done with the show.
rancid on the other hand, i knew i’d need to be 100% for. every time we see them, it’s a mosh fit fucking workout…
i went to h2o/rancid with an old friend (pun intended), and danced my ass off so hard that i couldn’t function muscle wise for 4 days… i’m also covered in tons of small, random bruises. i actually ended up also seeing the great houdini at the show, and ended up dancing with/alongside him most of the night. i love bumping into people at these shows that i usually don’t get to see… when rancid took the stage, i ran right into the crowd so we weren’t stuck on the outside. i instantly found my friends john and joe right away… i ended up singing right into john’s face before i even realized it was him. we were both like wtf, lol? there was un pit shift and they were both gone. missy was also with me and she didn’t want to go in the circle. she stayed on the rim and i’d come back and forth, but i really just wanted to be in that circle dancing. it’s such a good workout. rancid always has the best crowds. almost no douches, fun pits, and everyone is also scream-singing their hearts out. i dread the day that i’m too old for shows/pits. 🙁 i live for those nights/vibes.
i keep having to go to shows at terminal 5, and it’s such a pain in the balls to get to. i really miss roseland 🙁 that’s where i’d seen rancid before that for years… now this is their new spot. it accommodates the large crowd that they bring in, so i guess they’re sticking with it.
that shithole of a season, summer, is finally gone! in the excitement of it all, i treated myself (and my seester) to a new mikey/halloween scarf! i almost bought the sweater, but then reminded myself that i fucking hate regular sweaters… also: it was $85 – FUCKKK outta here. although $40 is kind of pricey for a scarf, it’s also something i’ll wear A LOT during the winter, and the quality/length is awesome (giggity)… most definitely worth it.
also upon us:HOCKEY SEASON.
i made steve hang these sweet little floating shelves for our small/random hockey shit. i figured it all being near the little sign that i made was pretty appropriate. it’s also the thin space between windows, so it filled it perfectly. our lil living room is getting cuter and cuter by the day (and cluttered – need more bookshelves!).
i’m dying to get the halloween stuff up in the apartment, but i want to wait until october 1st. it’s still hot out there, and doesn’t truly feel like fall just yet anyway.
🙂 this season makes me feel so refreshed and happy. new wonderful things have been aligning at the same time, which is wonderful *thank you, universe!*. >:) old friends keep popping up, creativity has been flowing, strolling around aimlessly for hours in cool autumn weather is upon us, hoodies, road trips, warm lattes, cold beer with warm pretzels, hockey, ahhhhh! i love love love it! i only wish that it lasted as long as our miserable NYC winters do… 🙁
so two years ago, i posted about this seemingly lost WPIX indiana jones promo (please go read the post, so that i don’t have to write about it again, lol #lazyblogger). i was stumping google so hard, but i found a few people also inquiring about it… so i wrote to them about it as well. nothing ever turned up, so i emailed WPIX directly last november as a last resort.
it’s almost as if it didn’t exist… UNTIL TODAY.
i got an email in my inbox from one of their reps earlier that lead me straight to it!
sooooooooooo, if for some reason you too were looking for the WPIX “Raiders of the Lost Ark” movie promo… here ya go (a blurb from my email is even in there)!!!1
as soon as i started making dreamcatcher earrings about a month back, i had to start packing up my apartment to move. now all of my supplies are packed and i can’t wait to get them all out and take over the lobe-filled world!!! spring and summer are coming, so i’ve been working with super colourful and fun hues.
here are the last few pairs that i had made…
i also always have new rings in the works… these bad boys are my new favorites (below).
welp… i’m officially out of glendale and situated in rego park.
this is one of the weirdest/hardest/most annoying moves i’ve had to go through. steve was/is out of town for work, so we had to improvise bodies.
how it was supposed to go:
kitsos and jimmy were supposed to help me move last friday, POSSIBLY mike – because he still had stuff at my apartment. i figured if he helped me out with moving, i could use the truck to get his stuff back to his mom’s house. we’d have to deal with snow.
how it actually went:
cable appointment on friday, instead. jimmy and metal joe helped me move last saturday (kitsos couldn’t switch days). mike never showed up/called back/texted back/tweeted/contacted me, so most of his stuff stayed back at our/my old apartment (which i feel HORRIBLE about, but it was there for a. full. fucking. year. yes, he let an entire year go by… typical elbow). it was fucking freezing, but no snow.
if it wasn’t for jimmy pulling through, it would have been a lot worse. if it was just joe and i, we would have killed each other and probably taken like 3x longer. i don’t know what i would have done, i couldn’t really find anyone else to help out that day. i also only just started speaking to jimmy again within the last few months, so thank god he was being cool about me being bossy and persistent for the help. we had a falling out a few years back (oh, the soap opera that is my life).
we shall forever refer to this move as #junctioncake (this sign was left on the dashboard, still have no idea what it means). i should google it.
steve and i are moving into our new place next week (♥ ♥ ♥), and i’ve been fiddling with paint colour ideas for my bedroom.
for my last apartment, i really wanted dark and cozy. i didn’t realize that living in the basement, and painting half of your walls black in a studio apartment, could make it a super cave-like dwelling! i swear!!! but on the real, the black paint made it seem more open, if that makes any sense. that being said, i wanted black in this new place as well. a trip to ikea earlier in 2014 left me DROOLING over this pastel pink bookcase i just knew i needed… so i’m glad it flows well with all happy hues.
i can’t wait until i’m in a space with all of these happy colours, in addition to the light olive/pea green bookcase and dressers that i’ve scored from ikea over the years. 🙂
1. 🙁 korn passed away (RIP)
2. office xmas party!
3. i still have a lot of blue hair?
4. the disney store has RAD mirrors that i want in my adult bedroom.
5. it turned from autumn into dreaded winter.
6. rafael ramos’s funeral took over my neighborhood (RIP)
7. my boyfriend bought gold dipped sneakers. sneakers are weird.
8 & 9. horror pics from ian skelton arrived (#8 for me and #9 for my seester for xmas)!
10. i made a beautiful new ring! you can buy it here.
11. ricardo and i found abandoned coquito in the fridge here at work, so we claimed it.
12. the post is a piece of shit.
13. i FINALLY prevailed and got that SSUR wonder wheel tee that i wanted at a wayyyy lower price than the original.
14. while packing up my apartment, i found this stagebill from when i sang at carnegie hall back in 1995.
OKAY so i was complaining earlier, but then my day got a little brighter… recently, i reconnected with one of my elementary school buddies via instagram. we were closest of friends in like 5/6th grade… funny enough, we both grew up to like punk rock (yet we’ve never run into each other at shows). anyways, she let me know this morning/afternoon that vans was giving out free bouncing souls/gorilla biscuits (RSVP) tickets a la house of vans. so WOO! free bouncing souls tickets, YESPLZ.
i gathered a few of my friends, including one of my coworkers – and i am HYYYPED. i got very spoiled for a few years when the souls were playing all the time, and i got used to seeing them (minimum) 4/5 times a year… i haven’t been to a smaller souls show in almost two summers. last summer they played with gaslight anthem on the piers, but it didn’t really feel like a souls show at all. nobody was dancing/paying attention, i dunno.
when RSVP/smaller types of shows come to mind, i instantly think about the souls show at cha cha’s down in coney.
anyways, that show was amazingly important for two rad reasons:
a) i was promised by the lead singer (greg) that he’d ride the cyclone with me for the first time, prior to the show (via myspace, maybe?).
b) the. show. was. fucking. amazing.
a) it was raining that day, so no one was riding any rides at all… AND when i had bumped into greg after the show, he was all “ah man, sorry we didn’t get to ride the cyclone today” (!!!) the fact that he actually remembered was awesomesauce. it goes to show that the souls give a shit about their fans.
b) the. show. was. too. fucking. amazing. – no souls show has ever lived up to the cha cha’s show.
cha cha’s was a damn shoebox (them small/intimate punk shows are the best ever). it was late august on a rainy night – hot as balls. they played songs i’ve never seen them play before (i wish i had a set list, DOH!)… EVERYONE was singing and dancing. the best vibes ever… there was an age requirement, which weeded out the little shits that don’t know how to act at shows… it was just perfecto.
below is a video of my exbf on stage singing… ah man, it was so, so good.
as time goes by, i feel like shows get less and less epic. i mean, of course they’re always fun… it’s just that i’ve been doing this for almost 20 years, my youth is fading and the awe and fascination at shows is reasonably nil. i’m turning into the cranky old show veteran that doesn’t like beer spilled on them by little idiots. luckily for me, that rarely happens at souls shows… that’s more at long island based BS.
i’ve never been to HOV, but i’m assuming it’s also outdoors (bleh), buttt i’m hoping since it “sold out” so quickly, it’ll be one of those obscure/weird souls shows.
^ look at the cool setup the rangers installed in herald square!!! 😀
i’m sooooooooo proud of these new york rangers! we’re 2 wins away from getting into the stanley cup finals. i can’t even begin to describe how exciting that is… we haven’t been there since the last time we won the cup.
i NEEEEEEEEED to see lundqvist raise that cup. i’ve been watching hockey again for the last 7/8 years, and every year i watch him work his magic all season for nothing. okay, well not for nothing – he breaks an insane amount of records and wins trophies and what not – BUT THE BIGGEST ONE… THE MOST IMPORTANT ONE – he deserves it, already.
the team this year – including hank, it wasn’t an easy start for them. it was shaky because we had just gotten rid of torts and inherited AV, the chemistry was off – there was a new system. i didn’t think we’d even make the playoffs at all, to be honest. the fact that we came back and dominated the penguins was insane.
okay, no one cares about sports around these parts but me… lol. just documenting my excitement for the blueshirts. WOOOOO!
i’ve been making general hockey/new york ranger fan shirts — these are the brainstorms between myself and the help of my BFF lauren and my boyfriend mike. at first, i was trying to gear things towards more anti-puck bunny females that actually know what they’re talking about where hockey is concerned, but i thought to myself, why limit the “brand”? i think dudes should be wearing my shirts also!
anyhoo, i tend to stick to my own team, but am open to working on shirts for other teams. holler if you’re interested!
oh, and i apologize ahead of time for the prices on that website. i have a few printed though, they are pretty nice. i think they’re so expensive for the most part, because i have them set to sell on the athletic shirts. you can change the style/colour to drop the price a bit.
okay, my computer is up and running again. i thinkkkk (since i don’t often download things) that i got this nasty virus from trying to view illegally streaming hockey games online… stupid cable provider and MSG didn’t want to cooperate financially for a while, so they were blocking out my ranger games… since i don’t watch much TV anyway and it’s almost the end of the regular hockey season, i cancelled cable and was relying on the bad stuff to watch games.
served me right, i suppose :\
my boyfriend and i went to florida and back since last i posted 🙂
i made some earrings and did my nails a few times… as per usual… (i lead a super exciting life in the winter, ey?)
my website to sell my earrings is almost done, so i can begin selling them! i haven’t been posting them here at all, i’ve been posting them up on instagram… sorry!
here’s a sneak peak at a few of my favorites so far 🙂
all i’ve been doing is catching up on work since i got my computer back, so i’m off to do that a little more… bartering for a tattoo for a website (via my friend kelly who also did my misfits skull), and working on a wedding website for my cousin getting hitched later this year… so farewell for now. thanks for reading this, if anyone even bothers to, lol.
aside from instagramming and working all the time, i’ve been doing the following for fun, and to maintain my own sanity…
1. keeping up with them diagonails
2. making a bunch of friendship bracelets and chinese staircase earrings! (while watching TV, usually… never have extra time for anything fun)
i’m actually going to start selling those earrings, i bought some hoops. if you’re interested, HOLLER.
3. playing lots of scrabble with my boyfriend on my iphone.
4. hello, it’s hockey season…
5. watching lots of netflix. i finished up breaking bad, brothers & sisters and gossip girl 🙁 i need a new show! suggestions???
6. hanging with my boyfrannn michael<333 we had his sisters wedding, my sisters birthday, christmas with our families, new years eve (obv) and his cousins sweet 16 in addition to some other stuff that i had to attend… it just felt like all of december was so dang busy…
other than all of that, when it gets cold out, my social life usually just shuts down. i hate being outside in the cold! although, i did recently get to hang out with the amazeballs online friend chris for his birthday last week. i met him on le twitter a couple of years ago… FINALLY made it out while he was in NYC (he’s connecticut based), lower east sided it! got saucy, hung out with his stuntman cousin, had pancakes at like 4AM… we had a blast 🙂
hmm, i guess that’s it really. just trying to craft more. i should start working on the site for the jewelry, while i’m feeling this graphic design creative…
okay, i’m one day early from it being acceptable, suck it trebeck… i put up my christmas tree the day after thanksgiving and i have these glade pine tree candles going, so i’m totally in the spirit. so much in fact that i put on pandora’s christmas station and went to workin’ on cleaning, cooking dinner, and working on a new clients website.
i thought i heard zooey deschanel’s heavenly voice, so i checked to confirm, and i was indeed correct. it was a track off of the she & him christmas album 🙂 check out some of she & him here (top/left – the record), and the christmas album specifically at amazon to preview.
walks, lol’ing with lauren, rangers preseason games, cleaning like crazy, breaking bad, sleepovers/dates with my michael james<3, the golden girls, friday’s, crazy nails, crafting, ricotta cheese, listening to miami horror/taking back sunday and the suicide machines, trying to find work.
september was awesome… october seriously needs to wake the fuck up and be just as awesome, and more.
since i’ve been freelancing for edit and no longer work there full time, i’ve been sleeping in every day until 11am. this is seriously making me a bum. i’m up until 3/4 am most nights, and that isn’t good… on the weekends, mike and i aren’t up that late, so i don’t know why my body is in so out of whack…
work has been super slow lately and it reminds me of why i don’t like freelancing… i haven’t struggled financially in ages, and now i’m budgeting… i feel personally embarrassed, and i end up getting super pissed off at the fact that i could never save a great deal of money over the years. helping my mother really killed me in the long run, but instead of bitching and pointing fingers, i’m just on the job hunt. (in case randolph and i don’t in fact launch our company…)
i interviewed with a spot the other day and it made me realize a lot of things. a lot about how to answer questions (even trick questions – who does that?) on interviews, how to be confident, that i need to sharpen SOME of my skills (but not all of them, mr. “i run a media company, but my website doesn’t even work in IE”… cough.) even if by some miracle i got called back for that job, i wouldn’t have wanted it… but it was a lesson learned and i got something out of it.
tomorrow jes and our friend missy are taking me out for a birthday dinner, but before that i’ll be meeting up with randolph to discuss starting our company already… i’d much rather work for myself and for him than a whole new gig…
sorry i’ve been neglecting this website AGAIN… what a fucker i am.
september has finally rolled back around, which means my birthday is coming upppppppp! (next week) – ugh, 30! #barf (apparently i’m STILL not handling it well) and that leaves changing will be just around the corner<333
anyways, i’ve got a lot to be happy about lately, which is why i guess i haven’t really been updating… aside from having another great vacation in salt lake, i’m feeling greatly inspired lately. i’ve been reading again, i downloaded a shit ton of new music that i’ve replaced or haven’t had before, i’ve obtained an amazingly sweet & sexy boyfrannn, i’ve got new clothes/shoes (refreshing), i chopped off all of my dead/dry hair (over eight inches!) and ryan callahan is the new captain of the ny rangers!
SO, aside from having a wonky work life, everything is feeling good lately.
in fact, so much that i’ve been doing a lot of thinking. mostly about people that i’ve cut out of my life, and i’d like to let that shit go. i’m getting older, and it’s nothing but bad energy. unfortunately for me, some of the people i’ve cut out of my life still talk to people that i haven’t. so it’s not like they’re never not in my life somehow, which kind of sucks. at any rate, i’m huge on perspective and i really think i need to write down who i can’t stand, and why. maybe i’m being irrational on some levels (although i doubt it), but if i can’t get them fully out of my life, maybe i should face what it is that i can’t stand about them to make sure that i’m handling it correctly. i just have zero patience for shitty people and the few people that are coming to mind i just shake my head at.
while i’m feeling this good, i want to tackle a bunch of things that bother me. this year already, i’ve conquered three/four important goals and i just want to keep it going.
i didn’t get a new tattoo in utah this time, and i’ve got the itch. i’ve gotta stop by three kings to make an appointment for my next idea: hockey sticks combined with autumn leaves in the shape of a laurel wreath. #fredperryinspired #UNF
i thought it’d be easier to just sum things up after a while, rather than write day to day… i guess i was wrong.
so what have i been doing for the last month?
1. on repeat (like, i-have-issues type of “on repeat”.)
2. catching up in the old hood<3
3. went to a movie in the park, (officially) met an awesome dude.
4. hanging out more and more with the awesome dude (here, in wburg.)
5. watching ally mcbeal like it’s nobody’s business!
6. spending more time with charlie<3
7. spending more time with christian (and charlie and rob<3)
8. spending time with lauren who finally came back from london
9. spending some time with teena! (and kurt!)
everyone/everything is doing a fine job of picking up the pieces lately.
things are feeling much better, although i don’t want to jinx myself.
i’m so glad that this summer is over because it was really fucking shitty until now. i just want autumn to be here.
hoodies & hockey, and that smell in the air… #BEST
i’m going to utah again next week<333 i think i’m going to chop my hair off while i’m there.
i’ve kind of been in this personal rut for a while, and usually when shit starts to really get the better of me, i just take the reigns and hit the refresh button. since i can’t control most of my surroundings that are affecting me, i will change what i can. i figured it was time to buy a new domain… i’ve owned posed-to-death.org since june of 2004, and for two years i kind of fell off of updating it. i only really started using it again in 2008 and since then, it’s full of a lot of personal turmoil. break-ups, fights with friends, moving out, being miserable and single, confusion, etc. i feel like it’s like dirty bathwater or something.
things keep changing around me, but i’m at this awful standstill. my heart is again is bruised, the company i’ve been working for, for three three years, has dissolved, my best cousin (who is exactly a week younger than me) is pregnant and about to be a mother within the next month, one of my best friends is on the verge of practically being engaged and is moving in with her boyfriend next month, my family sucks, i live in an annoying area of queens – kind of out of the way for most of my friends for daily hangout sessions, etc.
i’m just like…
i’ve been meaning to get myself a PMA tattoo for a few months now. i want this tattoo somewhere visible, so that i’ll always have that perspective when i need it. maybe a forearm or the side of a wrist. like life in general, instead of bitching and moaning about my seemingly shitty life on this website, i’ll try to feel positive vibes and not have it polluted with complaints about my personal life. i want to not drive myself crazy or throw pity parties. #F5
so i kind of just wanted a new domain name… so i purchased this domain after this deftones song. it’s my third domain named after a song, and it’s one of my favorites off of the album “white pony”.