October 31st, 2025 @ 4:53 pm

1. cobweb (plot) – this one was okay…  i’d give it 3 out of 5 stars.  without giving it away, the point of the movie was visually creepy, but i wasn’t sufficiently creeped out enough throughout watching the movie.  i probably won’t watch this on my own again, but if someone else puts it on, i’ll watch it.

2. pet sematary bloodlines (plot) – i enjoyed this one!  this was the prequel to pet sematary and didn’t disappoint.  i would rewatch this.

3. the skeleton key (rewatch, plot) – this is about hoodoo and spirits being controlled/taken over in the south (lousiana). a hospice worker comes to stay at a plantation house to help an old man who had a stroke and finds more than she bargained for.  i haven’t watched this in YEARS, but i forgot how entertaining it is.  will watch again.

4. 28 days later (rewatch, plot) – i haven’t watched any of the sequels, so i figured i should rewatch this before the others, but i wasn’t really feeling the vibe when i watched it.  i don’t think i was in the mood for it…  i loved it the first time i watched it and it was good, it just seemed really dragged out and felt low budget to me (it was not).  i’ll def watch it again, though.

5. halloween II (1981, rewatch #9872974987, plot) – this is my faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaave horror movie of all time.  i might even rewatch it on halloween night.  it picks up right where the first halloween leaves off…  michael follows laurie to the hospital where she’s being treated for her injuries from the night before.  he’s out for her and anyone who gets in his path.  the shots of him walking around a dark, quiet, skeleton staffed hospital are just so dang creepy.

6. no one gets out alive (plot) – this was a weird one.  a girl moves from mexico up to ohio and gets a cruddy job and is forced to then live in a cruddy hostel type of house because it’s all she can afford.  the guy she rents from is this shady hick of a white dude and he’s got some mentally fucked brother that moseys around the house.  it’s like a big, run down victorian house… she keeps seeing new tenants pop up here and there, after she’s told no one else lives there.  she soon realizes where they’re going…  i won’t spoil anymore.  it was a 2.5/5 for me and i probably won’t watch it again, but it was an interesting story, i suppose.

7. IT (rewatch, plot) – i watched the first/tv version this year, for the first time in a long while.  it’s really long, so i had to break it up into two days.  i prefer this one to the newer ones, even if it doesn’t exactly match the book.  the adult scenes and ending are kinda cheeseball, but tim curry makes up for all of it.  it still is quite freakin creepy, and it deserves a rewatch every few years.

8. it follows (rewatch, plot) – okay i HATED this movie the first time i watched it.  i have no idea why, but i ended up liking it this time around, and i think i’ll even rewatch it again.  tl;dr – boy sleeps with girl, is passed a curse via sex, he passes it onto the main character, then the movies is her dealing with it and how to get rid of it.  it’s an invisible entity that follows them around trying to kill her.

9. the substance (plot) – HOLY SHIT i was not prepared mentally for this movie.  i loved the aesthetic of it, seeing images and videos all over the internet, that’s why i watched it.  i gathered from what i saw, that it was about vanity and what not… but just, wow.

i think the last 45 mins straight of the movie i sat with the most horrified face i’ve made in a while, lol.  i almost threw up a few times, i had to stand up to reset myself, i covered my eyes a few times, it was just so anxiety evoking, holy shit.  it just wouldn’t end… it just kept going and going.

whew.

i mean, i’ll probably rewatch it, but it’ll be a LONG time before i do.

i know i sound like i’m bitching and i didn’t like it, but it was great and obviously it did its job, lol.  i was FULLY disturbed and disgusted.

p.s. – i loved all of the kubrick-inspired visuals.

10. invasion of the body snatchers (plot) – a good ol 70s horror movie… plants, aliens, POD PEOPLE!  it was a lil silly, but a classic.  i probably won’t rewatch this one for a while, but i thought it was good.

11. drag me to hell (plot) – i love anything sam raimi, so i figured i’d give this one a shot.  tl;dr – an old woman goes into a bank trying to save her house (an extension on her mortgage), and a gal trying to prove herself at work takes the low road and tries to impress her asshole of a boss and turns the woman down.  the woman ends up cursing her and latches onto her.  she’s hallucinating and being mentally tortured… the curse is set to DRAG HER TO HELL.  it was quite entertaining.

would i watch it again? EH.

12. run rabbit run (plot) – i didn’t end up finishing this one, it was really boring for me.

13. the stepfather (plot) – i must have watched this in my youth, but i don’t remember it at all.  i thought this was a really good 80s horror flick.  stepfather takes over after a girl’s dad dies and she never feels good about him – for good reason.  she starts investigating and figures out her suspicions were correct.  i would rewatch this one semi-regularly.

14. return to horror high (rewatch, plot) – i watched this one because i didn’t feel like thinking one night, lol.  it is a ridiculously campy 80s horror movie.  it’s so bad, though, i don’t think i’ll watch this again for another 30 years, lol.

15. he’s out there (plot) – this one was good, but man did the kids annoy the fucking shit out of me.  a family is going up to their cabin and the dad is delayed.  there is a killer stalking the mom and two daughters while they’re waiting for the dad to arrive.  i mean, in addition to the kids being realistically yet annoying little scaredy cats, the mom kept making dumb ass decisions.  i probably won’t watch this again, but it wasn’t TERRIBLE.

16. pumpkinhead (rewatch, plot) – man, i haven’t watched this movie in like 25 years.  it’s so dark and entertaining.  a guy witnesses pumpkinhead as a kid in his weird little rural town, so he’s got him in the back of his head when his young son dies in a terrible accident in his adulthood.  he wants to resurrect his son because he’s so young and it just opens a can of worms.  i will probably work this back into my regular october viewings.

fun fact: the guy at the beginning of this movie that’s knocking on ed’s family’s door for protection from pumpkinhead is none other than dick warlock, who played michael myers in my favorite halloween movie!

17. halloween 6 (rewatch, plot) – if you’re into the whole (thorn) curse of michael myers thing, is this movie for you!  the movie is based on him being cursed by the druids and his neice jamie being abducted into their lil cult.  this one is super violent and disturbing.  the acting isn’t THE GREATEST, but the movie has good pace and i don’t mind watching it from time to time.

18. joyride (rewatch, plot) – guy falls in love with girl and they keep in touch over the phone often.  he wants to drive to see her a few states over… he picks up his brother in jail on the way, they get bored and start playing with their CB radio and prank a violent trucker.  things get dark pretty quickly.  this is more of a thriller than a horror, but i’ve always watched it during in october, so i give it a pass.

19. night of the comet (rewatch, plot) – earth passes through the tail of a comet and it kills almost everyone. the only people that survived all happened to be in steel-lined places.  the remaining survivors in this story start walking around and find zombies, so they’re the antagonists alongside the govt. the characters realize there’s someone still survived at their local radio station so they end up there trying to survive the night. it’s a good, cheesy 80s horror movie.  i usually watch this every year or every other year.

20. i know what you did last summer (remake, plot) – i found this movie unnecessary and i didn’t love it. i don’t even want to elaborate on it, lol.

21. rl stine’s pumpkinhead (plot) – i thought this was going to be as good as an old goosebumps episode, but it was not.  it was also nothing like the pumpkinhead movie mentioned above.  this was a waste of my time.

22. cube (rewatch, plot) – oh i don’t know why, but i was obsessed with this movie when i was younger.  i thought it was such a cool idea/plot.  i haven’t watched it in eons, and i’m glad i found it again.  tubi truly is like a video store, lol.  a group of people wake up in this man-made structure and they have to make it from room to room making strategic choices for a path out.  there are booby traps, not everyone gets along, you have to use your brain to get out, it’s an anxiety driving good time.

22. the void (rewatch, plot) – i watched this last year or the year before and i enjoyed it.  i remember saying the last time i watched it that i have to really pay attention the next time i watch it, and i didn’t do that this time.  i had a long, annoying day at work when i watched it and i was distracted.  i might rewatch again before the year is up and it’s still fresh in my brain so i have the refresh.

i love the visuals in this one, but the monster is a bit silly.

23. smile (rewatch, plot) – smile is SO good and creepy.  it def fucks with you mentally and i loved it as much as i did the first time.  the second one was MEH, but this first film was fantastic.  i’ll still watch this on a yearly basis.

tl;dr – a therapist has a patient come in and kill herself in front of her and she passes an entity onto her, just as someone passed it onto her before.  she spends the movie trying to figure out how to stop/end what’s going on.  apparently she only has a few days to do it… but does she?

24. until dawn (plot) – this one just frustrated me and i will likely never watch it again, lol.  a group of kids go to find their friend’s missing sister and instead find this haunted ass “visitors center” where there are a bunch of missing posters.  the next day, they find missing posters of themselves and the night keeps repeating itself.  they all keep dying over and over again… it’s a loop.  i won’t spoil the end.

25. last house on the left (remake, plot) – i actually REALLY like this remake.  i have seen the OG but i don’t remember it to compare it to this version.  maybe i’d hate the remake if i did watch the original, bc i’m a snob, lol, but for now, i liked it.

mom/dad and daughter go to their vacation home.  daughter is a teenager and wants to go see her friends.  she drives into town to go find her friends and they end up getting together with this kid that has a messed up family.  they kidnap the girls and then the story unravels.  it’s something i’ll likely work into my yearly watches.

26. sleepaway camp (rewatch, plot) – a guy and his two kids are in a lil boat on a lake when these two idiot teenagers driving a speed boat (not paying attention), hit them straight on.  they end up killing the dad and the daughter and the son is left to survive with the dad’s boyfriend but ends up staying with his WEIRD doctor aunt.  if you’ve never seen it before, i won’t spoil it.  just know that the kid and the weird aunt’s kid end up at sleepaway camp together and well, things happen.  it’s a classic 80s horror flick, watch it!

27. a nightmare on elm st (rewatch, plot) – i’m not sure i need to tl;dr this one.  i watch this every now and again… i enjoy it, but out of the big 3 of horror, freddy aint it for me.  mikey all day, baby.

28. i spit on your grave (1978, rewatch, plot) – this isn’t an easy one to get through, as there is lots of disgusting rape scenes.  this isn’t pure horror – more of a revenge/cult film, but it is gorey and full of murder, so i’ll give it a pass.  young ms. hills is an author looking for a quiet place to write her first novel.  of course, she ends up in a rural town in CT and some hillbilly wannabe idiots track her down and terrorize her.  she doesn’t just let it slide, though.  this is a slower paced movie from the 70s, but quite disturbing.  i haven’t watched this in over 20 years, and i’m okay with that.  it’s gross, but okay for what it is, if you’re okay with watching a shock/cult movie like this (i am).

29. maniac cop (rewatch, plot) – oh gosh, i haven’t watched this in over 20 years.  a classic bruce campbell AND tom atkins gem…  a former cop who was framed and sent to sing sing gets murdered in jail by people he put in there.  when he gets to the medical examiner for his autopsy, he’s still alive but in terrible/braindead shape, so he gave him to some woman cop so he wouldn’t go back into gen pop.  welp, he was out on the streets of NYC terrorizing folks. it’s a classic 80s horror flick, if you’re into em.  i’ll rewatch this sooner than later, again.

30. don’t turn out the lights/blue light? (trailer since there’s no wikipedia page) – this wasn’t terrible and i didn’t hate it.  i wish it was faster in the beginning and was more clear on what exactly was going on.  i didn’t even feel like it was one of those “decipher it for yourself” things, it just didn’t do a good job of explaining what was after them. i MIGHT actually rewatch this one in a couple of years.

31. don’t look away (rewatch, trailer since there’s STILL no wikipedia page) – i have no idea how there is still no wikipedia page for this, and i’m too lazy to add one… so i had to link the trailer.  i remember when i watched this the first time, the horror sub HATED this movie.  i loved it the first time i saw it, and i still liked it on the first rewatch, but i should have watched it at night.  it seemed less creepy during the day.  i have no idea how people hate this movie, i think the premise and the mannequin are creepy.  maybe the mannequin could have been a bit aged or dirty looking?  i dunno.  it is a little goofy, but it’s spooky when it’s far away and moving around all creepy like.  i still stand by this flick and will rewatch it either every year or every other year, at least.

other 2025 horror mentions

in august, i ended up watching weapons and the monkey, which were fantastic!

October 28th, 2025 @ 12:14 am

every once in a blue moon i get in the mood to play this in full.  for some odd reason, i felt like throwing it on at 11PM tonight, lol (4 days before halloween, when better?).  steven is downstairs and was like “are you singing?”

i was like fuck yeah, this album is such a good singalong album.

i love both eras of misfits, but i tend to go glenny before graves for the most part.  i love when i forget how much i love the graves era, i love rediscovering it and then i get so irritated bc a) i’ll never get to see them play in this lineup ever again (i only got to see it once) and b) graves is a maga goon

which leads me to c) this makes me want a whole ass fuckin reunion tour but you know that smol man would NEVER allow it.  plus, misfits fans are absolute snobs and are super 50/50 on the graves era.

anyway, this is the same battle i’ve been facing since the year 2000, so – whatever (honestly, if i’ve posted about this in the past, those other posts will probably sound just like this one, because i rarely waiver from my opinions)…  but i digress.  if you like heavy metalish punk and horror,  you’ll probably like this album and BONUS song from their first album below the famous monsters embed!

October 27th, 2025 @ 12:35 am

one of my favorite local restaurants just closed 🙁 what i did retain from it was a connection with one of the waitresses, who volunteers to help care for feral cats in her neighborhood.  they care for the cats but also provide TnR services.  they really need any help they can get.  i’ve reached out to let them know i’d love to donate a website to them (or at least a proper donate page once they have a paypal account, in case anyone is weird about the zelle option).

they’re having trouble with finances at the moment, so if you can:

you can donate items/clothing to the cats via amazon wishlist (i typically do NOT support amazon, but this is the option they have for donations)
or you can zelle donations directly to the 516 number from this post.

♥ i know times aren’t easy on any of us right now, but every little bit helps. ♥

October 24th, 2025 @ 12:10 am

normally i do not enjoy muscles or tattoos (i do hate his, though, but who am i to say anything? lol), but tom hardy, yes plz.

dem lipsssssssssssss, those eyes, whew.

October 7th, 2025 @ 1:36 am

when you let someone depart from your everyday life, it’s never easy…  even if you were the one to put the space between you.

i want to tell someone how i’m thinking of them, worried about them, that i still care, but i’m not allowed to.

i truly do.

i know i’m likely hated right now, and it hurts, but this isn’t easy for me, either.

it’s not my business to be hurt at the moment, though.

i just really hope that this person is okay.  i hope they know that i still care and that i’ll always love them.

🙁

October 1st, 2025 @ 11:23 pm

in my early 40s, my close-up vision started to go.  i realized one day that i couldn’t see my cuticles or the food i had right in front of me.  the text on my watch and phone i could understand, because i have everything in dark mode… but FOOD?!

i went for glasses last year and my vision already got worse within one year.

this year, i opted for progressive lenses bc i thought i would hate bifocals…  well, my nerdy ass loves me a bifocal, lol.  i hate the guessing game on where my progressive lenses have the damn prescription.  now i have 1 pair of bifocals, 2 pairs of progressives and 1 full lens of my prescription (they’re all XL, aviator and obnoxious, bc of course).  i aimed to have glasses like clark griswold’s mom.

i miss my 20/20 vision.

i feel ancient, and i hate it.

September 25th, 2025 @ 12:51 am

since i’ve obtained a bidet…  i have no idea how i went for 40 years on this earth without one.  when i’m downstairs watching tv, i’ll use steven’s bathroom, and that peasant does NOT have a bidet, so i’m forced to use toilet paper.

now, we have always purchased only the finest TP in all the land (charmin ultra strong), but still… it leaves behind lint.  i had to do this three times tonight and i came upstairs and looked down and was like UGHHHHHHHH! (and then proceeded to clean myself thoroughly with my bidet)

when i go up to my mom’s house, she’s got terrible TP that leaves my poor vag looking like narnia.  i can not.

not only is it just annoying knowing that it’s likely there, but then we’re all walking around with it like that all day – i hate being out in public places to pee because my bidet is not there.  i swipe once, i pat lightly, it doesn’t matter – especially with multiple trips.  wet wipes leave lint also, and i don’t want that stuff on my girl anyway.

i know it’s TMI, but like, people have been known to GO DOWN THERE.  has there been lint at times and i wasn’t paying attention? NOOOOOOOOOOO!

someone on reddit called it “clitty litter” and i died laughing.

i hope things like this occur to others, and i’m not just a loon, lol.

September 22nd, 2025 @ 12:18 am

no apple: as aforementioned yesterday, i did NOT catch an apple at the sphere bc of the section we were sitting in.  however, you can buy them online (they’re currently out of stock, but once they restock, i’ll grab one).

new apple(s): since the battery on my apple watch decided it was slowly going to start dying after 6 years. she had a good run, and i’ve retired her for a new one.

while we were in vegas, my watch was fully charged and died by almost 5PM.  i mean, granted that was 8PM NYC time, but it’s currently 11:52PM now and my new watch is still at 65%!  that’s wild.

i treated myself to the new SE3 watch, even though i was set on buying the series 11.  i don’t use my watch to sleep at night, so i didn’t need the sleep apnea/monitoring, nor did i really care for the extra health features. even the guy at apple said there wasn’t a huge difference, so i grabbed this one.  i also have like 500 backup watch straps i bought, so i didn’t want a watch bigger than 40mm anyway (i have the wrists of a damn 11 year old girl, lol, i can’t have a massive watch).

so far it’s pretty cool.  i really love the gestures feature…  if i have an alert, a call or a text message, i just have to tap my thumb/index finger to answer or view whatever alert i get or flick my wrist once to dismiss it.

minor dislikes

• the new time face fonts in that it totally left out the one i’ve been staring at for years, but it’ll do.
• i’ve noticed this siri is way more sensitive and picks up steven’s loud mouth if he’s near me, lol.
• in the wallpapers area, the existing ones now need to be cloned and edited.
• sometimes it takes a few times to wake.

i didn’t love that it made me download ios26 to pair the watch to my phone, but i disabled the gaudy liquid glass bullshit and it’s tolerable.

since my picky ass basically turned off all animations and other bullshit UI features mac tries to shove down our throats, i’m not having the worst time with ios26, like i thought i would.

i do hate the fact that the icons have these awful little borders, though.  i just want flat icons 🙁

i don’t understand why apple always leaves out the ability to have these things as options – it’s not that big of a lift when developing the damn OS…. smh.

i did notice ios26 drained my battery a little faster than normal, which i don’t love.

overall, it was a productive bday weekend.

September 21st, 2025 @ 2:14 am

yawwwwwwwwwwwl i got to go to the sphere to see the wizard of oz for my bday this year!  it was incredible and i highly recommend going to see it while it’s there (it’s running until the end of march, next year).

while i don’t talk about it much, this is one of my favorite all-time movies.  growing up i must have watched this, mary poppins and the sound of music 9379379379874 times.  seeing this at the sphere was absolutely one of the coolest things i’ve ever experienced.  you feel like you’re in it, and it’s insane.

it had it’s positives and negatives, but overall i loved it and i would TOTALLY go see it again.

* * *

okay let’s get the complaints out of the way:

i haaaaaaaaaaaaaate AI.  i truly do – i don’t think it should be in the unregulated hands of the general public (bc let’s be honest, people are fuckin stupid, abusive and greedy).  i think when it comes time to use in the arts, MAYBE sometimes it can be beneficial – depending on the use case.  i’m like that with CGI and holograms, too.  i have less of an issue with holograms for some reason – a lot of people are super opposed to it.  i guess my selfish brain wouldn’t mind seeing the two deceased members of the cars in hologram form if it meant seeing the band.  they’re one of my favorite bands of all time and it breaks my heart that i’ll never see them live.  HOWEVER, if i did see them in that manner, i’d rather it use footage from past performances, not like AI taking their image and creating something fresh.  THAT creeps me out, but i digress.

in this case, i can see why they’d need it to be able to even display the movie correctly within the sphere.  all of the things they had to do to the movie does suck, but it’s mainly because of the resolution and the fact that it’s not a flat screen.  they also had to shorten the movie (did they tho?).  you notice right away at the start that a lot of dialog is cut short at the beginning of the movie, then the songs are cut short… in between you start to notice judy garland’s feet aren’t her own at the farm (apparently they only used the bodies of the actors from the waist up) – but the changing of the dialog changed their faces/mouths a little bit and that i didn’t like.  when they’re in oz, you can see the faces of the cast sort of changing because of AI – someone original will be standing around in oz and they’ll pan out and their face will distort a bit.

i think if it was given more editing time, it could be better – but don’t let my complaints let you think i hated any part of it.  i understand why it’s imperfect, and i’m okay with that.  i go into most movies/tv shows with imagination and a flexible, open mind, so that i don’t end up hating it and appreciate whatever effort did go into something.  in this case, i just get it.

i don’t support AI – i don’t think it belongs learning to do things off of other people’s talents and creativity – learning to straight up steal things is not okay with me.  if this was just AI expanding scenery and elements in the movie – that i’m okay with.  it’s a gray area because you need that to provide the wrap around effect (or do you? maybe they could have done it with some type of program or CGI or something else – who knows?) – i feel a tad hypocritical accepting this version of AI, ngl.  i’m not sure how to be okay with it while not being okay with it at all, so i’ll just leave it at that.

onto the positives:

when the first scene opened (the sepia title screen), the entire sphere gasped.  it was awesome…  we were in the dark, then we were in the clouds – and they were EVERYWHERE. it wrapped around the sides of the stage, above you, behind you… it was insane.  it’s just totally immersive and beautiful.

look at the bottom/left of this image – how small everyone is!

read more…

September 17th, 2025 @ 12:05 am

where tf are all of my old digital cameras and ipods?

i keep important things, but those seem to be missing in action.

my first ipod was even engraved with my infamous screen/username on the back!

September 9th, 2025 @ 6:18 pm

one night, in my magical lil studio in ridgewood… “signs” from bloc party came on shuffle.  when oscy heard the intro, his ears perked up, he was super alert and then started rolling around and getting SUPER cuddly.  it was one of the weirdest yet sweetest things i’ve ever seen him do.

ever since that night, i’ve never not been able to think of him when i hear that song.

last night, as i was rewatching gossip girl for the 973973987th time while high and falling asleep, the episode where blair’s mother gets married – that episode (S2,E13 – o brother – where bart thou?) opens with “signs” playing and it plays during the scene while her mother is getting married.  i totally forgot about it and welp…

this isn’t even the first time this week a song has made me think of oscy and i’ve broken down.

when steven used to go on the road when we first started dating, john waite – “missing you” would come on shuffle and it would depress steven because he missed oscy (and me, i’m sure)… but we always reference oscy when it comes on.  THREE FUCKING TIMES this week it’s come on.  once in a store, twice on sirius xm.  i cried 2 out of the 3 times, once was bad.

like, i guess it got “easier“? but not really… i truly miss my cat so much.  i hate this stupid life without him in it.

September 2nd, 2025 @ 8:41 pm

i just wanted to leave this graphic here.  i was just digging for something in my hard drive and came across this gem i made back innnnnnnnnn 2008.  i really always have loved collaging 🙂 my walls, graphic design, physical art… it was just always my steeze.

i look at that image and i feel like it just sums up myself and my style.  the chaotic little shit that i am.  it really makes me miss web 1.0 and fun website layouts.

i loveeeeeeeeeeee this myspace layout, but i definitely miss creating full site layouts.  i can’t believe i’ve had this as an active layout for 12 fucking years now.  i am a creative creature of habit and all of my layouts only used to last a month or so.  i think because i worked so hard on this theme and it’s just so fuckin classic, i leave it.  also,  i think when i switched over to wordpress, it made me lazy.

it made me a better developer, and i learned php (and learning how to implement PODS made me feel like a friggin wizard), but it definitely made me less creative.  especially because back in the day it was kind of just like “a wordpress blog site is just your posts on one side and the sidebar on the other”.  i can totally work around that type of a typical blog structure to make it less blog traditional, but it just made the most sense vs the old way where i’d conjure up some rad graphic and i’d stick an iframe with my manually updated blog in it, that’s only like 450px high and 300px wide, lol.

there were a few times when i incorporated a horizontally scrolling iframe above the blog content and that was fun.  it was a nod to my first websites that were mostly side scrollers.

i can’t believe i manually updated my blog posts for years – no tags, no categories.  like, it’s weird to think about going back to static sites because i’m so used to using wordpress loops and custom PHP within my sites now.  it would be a fun challenge to do something static at this point in time.  a few years ago, i started an online zine that was in the style of web 1.0, but i never finished it.  it was fun remembering how to use PHP includes.  i remember when i was first taught that by my old manager shawn, my mind was blown.  man did that shit make my life easier.

anyways, i really miss being a night owl and being creative during the hours of 10PM-4AM.  doing this stuff was a lot of fun for me and my friends years ago.  they requested and loved these types of graphics from me.  i miss that.  i used to make everybody “bio pics” for their myspace “about me” areas.

oh, the good ol days…

* * *

maybe i should “theme” this myspace theme to look like one of my old myspace HTML/CSS coded layouts.  turn everything all black, moody and covered in bats and neon colours… lol.

September 1st, 2025 @ 9:05 pm

okay, let me preface by saying that i’m stoned right now, so this discovery is likely more exciting than it should be…

if you know me irl, you know one of my favorite things evarrrr is synchronicity.

the definition of synchronicity: “the coincidental occurrence of events and especially psychic events (such as similar thoughts in widely separated persons or a mental image of an unexpected event before it happens) that seem related but are not explained by conventional mechanisms of causality“

it happens to me all the dang time, but mostly when i’m listening to music.  i’ll see or read words i’m hearing or things i’m doing/wearing will align with whatever i’m listening to. (ie: one day, while exercising, i listening to the cure’s song “the walk”, featuring lyrics that say “we walked around the lake”.  i had realized in the moment that i was literally walking laps around oakland lake, lol).  i rarely post about it here, because i guess i never really recall smaller details from my day(s) when i post, but here’s an example of one dating back to 2014.

anyways, it’s something that comes up on a daily basis for me irl.  on a related note: my favorite angel number and the one that keeps popping up again and again for me is 222.  it represents “alignment: you being in the right place at the right time”.  since both happen to me so often, i kind of just think everything is working out the right way, up to that very point in time – like i’m doing the right things, making the correct choices.  i believe the 222 aligns with my synchronicity occurrences (yes, it is my stupid little belief that there is SOME magic out there in this universe in my stupid little lifetime), but i digress.

what brought me here to post about this useless information about myself?

i’m sitting here like the mindblown emoji right now, because when i had googled “synchronicity” to find the origin of the word, the first result was the wikipedia page for synchronicity citing carl jung as the person who founded the concept.

why is this mind blowing, you ask?

BC NILES FUCKIN CRANE, that’s why.

as we all know, frasier is one of my faaaaaaavorite shows of all time.  well, niles crane is a top 5 (maybe even top 3) favorite television characters of all time, for me.  i AM niles, i LOVE niles, niles makes me laugh out loud, and niles …IS A JUNGIAN! – aka a follower of none other than CARL JUNG… the man who coined the concept of “synchronicity”.

like, could i have a better example of personal synchronicity than THAT in my stupid little life?!  whew.

goodnight, lol.

September 1st, 2025 @ 12:51 am

oh yeah, i forgot to mention..  i finished a 4th re-watch of gilmore girls recently…  i’ve decided now that i truly do enjoy the show.  it only took me this many re-watches, but here we are.

i think it’s easier to enjoy now that i’ve figured out exactly who i can’t stand and why, the things that disappoint me and the things i love about the show.

the first time i watched GG, i loooooathed rory.  i wasn’t even sure i liked the show the first two times i watched it fully because of her and her mother.  i hated rory SO MUCH the first watch, less on the 2nd, 3rd and 4th but i still get horribly annoyed with how selfish she is.

this time around, i realized a new reason i can’t stand lorelai.  i mean, mostly because i can not stand impulsive people, but i can’t stand how fucking stubborn she is.  i also realized i think she likely has ADHD.

*spoliers ahead*

read more…

August 30th, 2025 @ 7:57 pm

okay sue me… it’s been TWO WHOLE WEEKS since i’ve posted.

in my own defense, i was on vacation for nearly one of those weeks.

let’s see… what have i been up to?

i read sugar – this book was quite triggering, tbh (unhinged women that don’t know boundaries… yep).  it inspired me to write, though.

i went on vacation to see my jamie bb boo in michigan for almost a week.  jamie, her husband and myself all went to see NIN!  it was all of our first times ♥

i did not get to see “copy of a” or “heresy” live – two of my top 5 fave nine inch nails songs and i am livid.  they switched the setlists between cities and for detroit, they skipped heresy.  they DID play copy of a, but jamie and i had to pee and they played it while i was in the pisser.  i might drag my ass down to BK by myself to go see the show again.

other than the concert, we hung around doing regular ass bestie stuffs (mall, lunch, lounging, watching scary movies, sitting in the sun, havin cawffee, etc).  one of her dogs got sick and had to have a medical procedure while i was there, so we didn’t get to do everything we had set out to plans-wise, but that’s okay.  i had a great time just being around my buddy bb girl<3

steven and i have been trying to go to the movies here and there… it’s a nice change of pace from the usual sluggish bestie bullshit we do around the house (aka park our asses in front of the tv or he naps for 88 hours).  we saw superman, the fantastic four and weapons recently.  the superhero movies are mindless entertainment for me, so i liked them both.  weapons was really good – i just wish they sped it up a tad.  it got a couple of good jump scares and audible gasps out of me, lol.

uhhhhhh…  what else? i cut my bangs in, because it’s been cooler since i got back from michigan.  this can only mean my backwards witch magic will bring a heatwave to NYC for september. 🙁

i babysat for my landlady this weekend while she was off romping in the hamptons, living her best life in her 80s.  it was nice to spend time with her cat.  i miss being a cat mom.  i think i might consider adopting early next year, so long as my job situation pans out to be something productive and stable.

i got my new glasses (the eye doctor used the old frames i got last year and then i got a pair of XL ones online).  it’s super annoying having to constantly tilt my head up or down to see properly with the progressive lenses, but i still think i’d rather deal with this than the hard line bifocal (hi, i’m ancient).

i really need to wear them more, but i still have this weird cognitive issue where if my glasses are on, i struggle to speak or focus.  maybe i’m autistic… honestly, i should be tested.  i can only really concentrate on one thing at a time, apparently down to my damn senses.  ie: when steven shows me videos on IG from his side of the couch when we’re watching tv, i can’t focus on both things and i get overstimulated and annoyed.  weirdly enough, he also points out when i’m on the couch i never stop moving my toes.  sometimes i don’t notice it, but sometimes i do it just to feel “even” or less anxious.

it’s not hard to walk in the glasses like i thought it would be, but having to tilt my head down to see normally and then up to read things is truly annoying.  i bought a pair of glasses online w the full lens, so i could pop em on and off when need be, but i don’t feel like they’re as strong as the progressive ones.

anyways, i lead a thrilling life, eh?

OH YEAH, i woke up and everyone thought prez cheeto died.  that was thrilling for a few hours.  he’s supposedly went golfing today, but while i do believe the pics posted online are real, we’re living in the day and age where there could be deep fake/AI pics.  who tf knows anymore… but man, wishful thinking.

August 17th, 2025 @ 7:39 pm

SO I COULDN’T EVEN HANG FOR A FULL WEEK OF UPDATES… sue me.

i mean, i really didn’t do much… i wake up, roll out of bed and work from my bedroom until 5PM.  it’s hard to post when there’s really nothing going on.

what did i do all week?

i binged a tv show, reading, i think i made ONE wallpaper, i went on some walks, i started a new book, i fed some squirrels and the backyard cats…  the summer just really murders my motivation to do anything.  i’m so glad it’s almost overrrrrrr!

i went to the optometrist to get a new prescription, since my eyes are failing me more and more each year (i can’t see SHIT up close anymore).  i wanted to avoid the hard line bifocal, so i got progressive lenses.  i’m not SUPER convinced i’m going to love them, so i bought some full lenses of my prescription online.  we’ll see how that goes, i guess.

i got some XL frames online – like 80s style, bc i can’t stand seeing my frames in my eye shot… but the ones i got from my optometrist, i just used the same frames as last year. i like the big ol clear boys.

on saturday, i went to lunch with two of my coworkers – we went to park side and lemon ice king.  i think it’s been at least a decade since i’ve been to either spot, though i vaguely feel like i’ve been to lemon ice king with steven at least once.

it wasn’t suuuuuuuuper annoying getting there, but it wasn’t great, either.  i did the LIRR to mets/WP > 7 train and walked from 111th st.  i wanted to avoid main st like the plague, so i just did the mets route.  i feel like such a snob because i refuse to do the bus to main st and take the 7.  the bus takes 87 years and i honestly LOATHE main street now.  it’s so crowded on and smells like dirty ass stank fish.  i mean, i thought it was bad in the 90s, but i don’t have the gusto to deal with that annoying shit now.  i’d rather put out the extra few bucks to take the LIRR and a short walk.

i don’t mind taking the subway, i swear!  when we lived in rego park, we lived off of the M train and i was taking the subway on a daily basis — it’s really just the 7 i can’t stand.  it stresses me out so badly – it’s ALWAYS crowded and the trains feel smaller now.  it’s weird to think that i rode that train for so much of my life, and now it means almost nothing to me.  i guess i can still consider it my train, though.  if the LIRR ever breaks down, i’d have to resort to that bullshit ass train to get home to this neck of the woods.

* * *

lastly, this absolutely ridiculous news plagued us this weekend.

PSA: please don’t upload your ID to youtube aka google.  it’s bad enough google has so much of your data already… do you really want to link it to your state ID? smh.

:: adjusts tin foil hat ::

HELLO ARE WE LIVING IN THE BOOK 1984?! don’t give fucking google or any other non-financial app/internet service your ID ffs.  there is literally no fucking valid reason for youtube to obtain your identification.  that is actually insane.

i’m so glad i’ve never been a google idiot like so many of my friends.  make fun of me all you want, but i haven’t used my gmail in 88 years and i only used it for work shit – applying for jobs.  i’m never signed into google or yt, i don’t use google docs, google home, google asswiper, etc. and frankly, I DO NOT GIVE A FUCK IF I CAN’T USE YOUTUBE.

i only use youtube to watch music videos/listen to music when i don’t feel like opening spotify.  i’m assuming all of the content folks i watch (all 3-5 of them, lol) will find somewhere else to go.  if it’s to tiktok, well then, we had a nice run bc i don’t use that bullshit app, either.

the internet is freaking out about “WeLL wHaT’s ThE aLtErNaTiVe FoR ViDeOs ThEn?!”
like, you can’t live life without videos? lol

smh.

i get it, i grew up in the 80s/90s and i remember a life without relying on online for EVERY fuckin thing, these newer gens don’t… but man, you’d think youtube was someone’s limb or something.  get a fucking grip… touch grass, as the redditors say.

i’m so sick of iNfLuEnCeRs anyway.  i do like some creator folks, but the influencers…  cry me a river that so many people are going to be “losing money” bc this is their “job”.  that isn’t a fucking actual job – this entitled, grifting ass, easy way out bullshit started less than 20 years ago and let’s be honest here… it’s all about a pretty face or some gimmicky bs linked to marketing/branding/pushing products/ads – all shit i could not care less about.

aww the poor widdle babies have so much pressure on them needing to think of ways to curate new pics and vids for things/brands/companies/sponsors… welp, ya chose that life, ya goons.

August 10th, 2025 @ 10:50 pm

checking in, day 2:

i festered all day on the couch.  it was disgusting.

i binged tv, i napped, i cried, i ate, i binged, i just rotted away.

i spoke to my mom for like 4 hours.  she’s not in any better of a boat than myself on the life front, which doesn’t help my current depression or anxiety.

i really have to crawl out of this fuckin hole.  i wish i would win the fucking lotto already – just put my mom in a house on some property, pay her bills, let her retire officially and call it a day.

August 10th, 2025 @ 12:10 am

i want to try to log my days better.  i rarely write here on a regular basis, so i guess we can start today…

1)

today was a rough day.
i feel like i have a hole going through me like helen sharp.
i can’t elaborate.

2) i realized today while in whitestone, that when i got my ears pierced as a child, it was at a place called “lee’s jewel box”.  i was looking at the sign on the backside of the shopping center and loved that it hasn’t changed since the 80s/90s (pizza chef’s sign, either).  then it dawned on me that my dad’s name was lee.  i have no idea why i never realized this before, but kind of funny how that happened.

3) i went for a long walk today and on my way home, there was an elderly woman sitting on the floor in front of a cantonese restaurant.  two people were just standing around her, but not helping her.  at first we thought maybe it was someone homeless or drunk or something, but when i saw her face i knew something was wrong…  it looked like she was sitting up but sleeping at the same time, but she was sitting on her purse and kind of leaning backwards.  there was a waiter that had his eye on her, but i don’t think he knew what to do.  i asked him for some water for her and kneeled down to keep her on the floor.  she had to be in her late 70s or 80s.  when we got to her, she was only there for a few minutes, and had an accident and peed on the ground, had very bad gas and thought she was going to throw up.

let me just preface that i am REALLY bad during emergency situations, so i was shocked i was so calm in this one.  this poor old woman looked like she weighed about 90 lbs, if that.  all of her veins were popping out of her hands, she was bruised, etc.  i didn’t want to touch her because i was worried about hurting her.  plus, i didn’t know what was wrong and i always remember during falls/accidents to keep someone down until help arrives.

she didn’t want us to call anyone for her because she didn’t want to worry anyone, but i had told her if someone found my mom or one of my aunts on the floor like this, i’d want to know vs finding out something happened another way.  she kept saying she only lived 3 blocks away and wanted to go home, but i had steven call 911 and i kept talking to her and telling her to just rest “a few more mins” to kill time while they got there.  i was asking her if she had any current health issues like blood pressure issues, diabetes, if she was on any medications… i figured maybe it’d help once the medical folks arrived.

i kept having her take slow, deep breaths and i let her rest her eyes and then i would start talking to her again, in case she was concussed.  she had a really strange look in her eyes.  they were glassed over, unfocused.  she just looked so sick.  it made me so sad.

i asked her if she had eaten before leaving the house and she said yes, so i don’t know if it was just too hot out for her or something.  there wasn’t a cloud in the sky, and over on bell blvd there are no trees or areas for shade really, especially on the side where she was.  in front of the restaurant, she was under a shaded eating area, so i’m guessing she was looking for a shady spot when she fell.  maybe she had heat stroke or something.

the EMTs asked her if they could call someone for her and she was freaking out about it – the woman EMT said there were like 30 text messages for her, so i hope someone got through to them for her.  she kept saying she didn’t want to go to the hospital, but she kept passing out, so the EMTs bypassed her request.  i really hope she’s okay.

what else? (i know, try to contain your enthusiasm)

4) i had to go to fedex to mail a (RAD) mta light from only NY out to jamie bc she forgot i already owned one, and had recently bought me one to cheer me up.  i told her i could return it to onlyny, but then i was like uhhhhh, it’s an amazing lamp, i’m sending it to you – fuck that.

5/6) i watched some batman beyond and then came upstairs to redo a contact form for a friend/client (someone had installed one after i had built the site and it broke), then i redid all of my own web forms.  my lazy ass hadn’t realized my webhost doesn’t allow mail forwarding to “free” accounts like yahoo, gmail, aim, etc. anymore because they kept getting blacklisted, so i also added all of my email addresses to my desktop mail app to get my mail directly.

WHEW.

at least it kept my brain busy for a bit, so i didn’t have a mental breakdown and add to my already goldfish looking eyeballs from crying.

August 3rd, 2025 @ 10:53 pm

i think i might make a career change…  i’ll stay in web, just maybe not doing outright development.  i still do and will always love coding, but on my terms.  this scares the ever living shit out of me because i’ve been doing this for so long and i love doing it, but i can see with bullshit like react and AI weaseling its way into basically everything, i just don’t have the energy to keep up.  i’ll likely have to work for another 30 years – i don’t have the gusto to have to change this shit up every fucking decade bc some idiot thinks they need clout, power and money and conjures up annoying, new tech.

one of the idiots who co-founded wordpress decided his greedy ass wanted to switch over to a block editor that’s run on react (js) vs PHP (which is the language WP is built of off), and it really just lost me and my interest.  i use specific plugins to handle content, but for the basics, i don’t need this block editor.  i always install the classic WYSIWYG editor on my sites.  there are millions of installs for the classic editor – so i’m not alone, but it doesn’t matter.  our voices didn’t matter.

i have to use said block editor at work, and getting to know the UI sucked, but it’s fine now.  my job is currently trying to make us build custom blocks and the process of creating even a simple one is so annoying.  you need like 4+ fucking files, 2 separate directories, etc. – like why didn’t they just make a point and click editor TO CREATE THE FUCKING BLOCKS? vs having to do all of this dumb scripting and shit? smh.

the bottom line is that i hate site builders, full site editors and javascript.  js has never excited me, i’ve never wanted to dive into it, it doesn’t interest me like other programming languages.  because of js/react, there has been this annoying blurred line between front-end devs and fullstack devs (outside of work i don’t mind it, but at my job, i’m not into it).

in addition to simply just disliking js, i also hate allowing clients/users to have too much creative freedom to any layout or structure.  honestly, the fact that the block editor was already an existing (coughbuggycough) plugin and it didn’t have to be the default editor was the cherry on top.  homedude wanted to compete with squarespace and wix – meanwhile neither is even on the same level as WP (but of course, there are people that don’t wanna pay decent prices for devs to survive, so they turn to ~$25-100 per month bullshit builder services like sqsp and wix).  wordpress.com vs wordpress.org meant one was paid and one was free.  .com had a free option for years, but that’s how mr. shithead started thinking to compete with sqsp and wix…  why he didn’t just make the shitty editor for the paid version is beyond me, but i digress.

i can’t even get into how annoying all of these wordpress issues are – but it makes me not even want to freelance, and it’s making my full-time job annoying.  all i’ll say is that i find that a lot of developers seriously have no scruples, no boundaries, etc. and at the end of the day, it’s hurting us actual devs.  we’re the ones with the brains and the talent – we’re not supposed to use it for bad.  programmers also shouldn’t be doing what they’re doing with AI or robots, etc. – it’s all disgusting, appalling greed.  i hate the current timeline we’re living in.

i think i want to go more into UX professionally and freelance code/wordpress on the side, if i choose to.  i think that would make me happier in my career, so that’s the goal of 2026.

* * *

all of this piling up on the brain just really makes me feel like i’m DROWNING in quicksand.  it’s affected me in the weirdest way in the last few months.  my long time managers both departed the company and my team has been in a freaking tailspin since, so that’s also not helping… but i can’t really get into that.  all i know is that i’m entering this new decade (my 40s), middle age shit keeps creeping up on me and this shit isn’t helping matters.

my anxiety has been through the roof for months, i’ve been depressed, scared, sad, i feel lost.  i’ve been so upset i’m not in the mood to socialize properly online or irl, i’ve not wanted to really eat, dye my hair, do anything i love, really…  it’s just been such a shit storm.  all of the other things that were already getting to me are just amplifying it- my besties living in other states, family living far away, not going to shows anymore, everything being overpriced – shows, hockey/baseball tickets and rent, getting older, etc.

i feel my best physically, but mentally and emotionally… not good.

i need some air.

July 29th, 2025 @ 11:44 pm

i’m posting two posts, since they were shorties (COINCIDENTALLY, they landed on today’s date).

posted on: 7/29, 2002 @ 5:10 a

aiight listen haterz lol… i’ve been up for like a whole day. and i need my 12 hour rejuv. sleep. so i’ll be gone until probably early afternoon :] so here i leave you with two new pictures.

anyways i’m going to lay down in my COZY bed *CAN’T WAIT* and i’ll post TONS tomorrow!! i may even have a dream to add to the log :] (hope i can remember it for myself ANDDDD you guys) <33 nite nite guys!

* * *

posted on : july 30th, 2OO2 – at 3:10 a

gah! i was going to update today but we had a big black out. i guess too many a.c.’s were going or something. only three parts of queens were hit with the blackouts.

jeff got a speedbag for his room. he is into boxing and what not… and he was punching and trying to find his flow when the damn lights went out. we couldn’t move cuz it was so damn dark inside his room. so then we called his mom, my mom and my video store and everyone else had lights. i went outside of jeff’s house to look up and down the block and it was so dark outside too. it was pretty creepy. we went for a walk :] we went to the video store and pulled on the doors and they were locked. we hadn’t realized it was frickin’ midnight (west coast closing time) because there were no clocks in the house lol.

jeff and i went to modell’s for an air pump and i found some sneakers on sale. i got classic reeboks. i’ve been wanting to get a pair for a while, but where i live you can’t find cool sneakers. i usually have to go to the city for cool sneaks. so i was happy :] they’re black and soft and old skool lookin :]

gah, i can’t put up a new cam pic AND i am really hot. when i was doing my laundry here at jeff’s tonight my clothes were in the dryer, so they’re finishing NOW… finally. so we have the a.c. off to conserve energy.

we’re gonna go watch the new austin powers movie now. we downloaded it. great quality it is :] ahhh the beauty of the internet. what movies have YOU downloaded lately? *wink* xoxo

July 27th, 2025 @ 12:56 am

steven and i were in the car tonight and there was some weird, slowed down version of some 80s song that we know playing when he turned the car on.  it was like dreamy kpop sounding.  at any rate, we got into a a funny, animated argument because he was trying to tell me this song wasn’t on spotify bc of some rights issues. i’m like “BRO i have it liked, i’ve listened to it 89387987 times and i can see the artwork of his fat head in front of the city on it”.

welp, he was (sort of) right. the one i had saved/liked/whatever spotify likes to call it this year – i clicked into it (with the same title!) and there’s a different version of the song in it now!  it’s missing the dreamy instrumental that really makes the song the song…  ugh.

anyway, my cousin sent me an 80s nostalgia video recently and this song was on it and every time i hear it, it makes me so emostalgic for the 80s (yes, i just made up a word combining emotional and nostalgic).

so yeah… if you’ve never heard it and you like 80s R&B, enjoy:

lastly… fun fact: rhianna sampled this song in “work”.

July 17th, 2025 @ 12:13 am

i miss the delicate balance of life and online life back in 2011.
i miss the precipice we still hadn’t crossed over into yet… aka the hellscape that is newer technology and social media.
i miss obama being president.
i miss hideous instagram filters (v 1.0).
i miss the fashion.
i miss the accessories.
i miss the music (i still have the music — but the scenes… so many new indie and synth bands, UGH!).
i miss digital cameras being the default vs your phone.
i miss nyc not being overrun by FULL ass gentrification.
i miss my favorite bars and restaurants being open.
i miss going to see the rangers play at the garden for $40 measly dollars.
i miss being a TAD thinner.
i miss old (soft) TOMS.
i miss living in ridgewood.
i miss working at edit.
i miss echofon for firefox (i miss old twitter).
i miss websites and blogs.
i miss tumblr being tumblr.
i miss roseland ballroom.
i miss using flickr before it sucked asshole.
i miss weheartit.
i miss taking the subway.
i miss all of the good graff/street art going on at the time.
i miss my dell zino computer.
i miss tarina tarantino at her peak.
i miss when netflix was the only streaming service so everything was just THERE.
i miss all of my old website layouts.
i miss the quality of old manic panic.
i miss ricky’s.
i miss being with lauren all the time.
i miss going to punk shows with greeksteve all the time.
i miss holiday cocktail lounge.
i miss all of the rad photo editing apps of the mid-aughts.
i miss crackle nail polish.
i miss brucci nail polish.
i miss the amount of inspiration going on all around me.
i miss missbehave mag.
i miss fredflare.
i miss old windows.
i miss visiting bee in SLC.
i miss my iphone melting cases.
i miss making an extra $200+ per week making earrings for random strangers on IG.
i miss having a public IG account.
i miss my aunt necie being alive.
i fucking miss my cat being alive.

2011 was really very good to me aside from my love life (until mike came along ♥).

July 8th, 2025 @ 10:48 pm

(pardon my probably awful french post title here…)

i do not understand when or why some fucking GOON in the food industry decided vegetable toppings (TOPPINGS!) belong UNDERNEATH the meat of a sandwich, but whoever they are – i hope they catch a scorching case of herpes every week, for the rest of their lives.

there is an order of flavors.  if i order a sandwich or a burger, why tf would i want to taste the accoutrements before the main meat i ordered?  why would i want the lettuce and tomato to be the first thing i taste WHILE SAID MEAT IS THEN SLIDING OFF OF THE VEGETABLES?

like wtf?!

i put a squirt of bbq sauce on my burgers – no mayo, no ketchup, no mixtures of things…  just a smol amount of bbq sauce.  i put it under my cheese so it stays snug under said cheese.  i find the lettuce/tomato whatever else refreshing on top of the warm meat… i don’t eat disgustingly greasy or bloody burgers, so i don’t have to worry about soggy bread (i prefer medium or medium well before you start judging me).  aside from soggy bread, why the fuck would anyone do that?

i’m always the damn 1% of any argument – most scenarios, tbh.  this, though, this is a hill i will die on.

June 13th, 2025 @ 12:02 am

this man.

i can not even begin to think of all of the memories we ranger fans have had of him in the last 13 years that don’t fill my lil eyeballs up with tears.

the laughs, the goals, the friendship between him and zibby, the support and leadership he’s shown the new kids, the year we went to the cup, his FIFTY TWO goal season a few of years back, THE hat trick, the effort and love he’s had for this team… it PAINS me that he’s not retiring as a ranger.

i’ve cried so many times in the last two days.  i am so sad and disgusted with drury.

it’s just, he was the last core ranger.  the last of the era of lauren and i… the era where we made it to the finals.  the greatest version of the team i’ve seen since i was a young teenager.

i haven’t cried this hard over a ranger losing a player since hank (and zucc and hags).

i hope we get to see his number retired in the rafters someday.

thank you so much, christopher james kreider.  once a ranger, always a ranger.

* * *

per NHL.com:

Kreider signed a seven-year contract with the Rangers on Feb. 24, 2020. He scored an NHL career-high 52 goals in 2021-22 to become the fourth 50-goal scorer in Rangers history, joining Jaromir Jagr (54 in 2005-06), Adam Graves (52 in 1993-94) and Vic Hadfield (50 in 1971-72). He scored his 20th goal of the 2022-23 season in his 700th NHL game, a 4-1 win against the Vegas Golden Knights on Jan. 27, to become one of six players in Rangers history with at least eight 20-goal seasons: Rod Gilbert (12), Jean Ratelle (nine), Graves (eight), Andy Bathgate (eight) and Camille Henry (eight).

Kreider scored his 35th and 36th playoff goals to pass Gilbert (34) for the most in Rangers history, helping New York to a 5-1 win against the New Jersey Devils in Game 1 of the 2023 first round. He scored scored twice to move into third place on the Rangers goals list in a 5-1 win against the Anaheim Ducks on Dec. 15, 2023. Kreider tied Graves for third with his 280th goal in the first period, which was also his 500th NHL point, all with New York. He passed Graves in the second period, scoring his 100th power-play goal, tied with Graves for fourth in Rangers history.

Three points (one goal, two assists) in a 7-4 win at the Pittsburgh Penguins on March 16, 2024, made Kreider the 10th Rangers skater to play 800 NHL games. His 298 goals were the second-highest total by anyone in team history through their first 800 games, trailing only Ratelle (306). He added to his legend with a natural hat trick in a span of 8:58 to help the Rangers advance to the 2024 Eastern Conference Final with a 5-3 win against the Carolina Hurricanes in Game 6 of the second round. Kreider became the third player in Rangers history to score a hat trick in a potential series-clinching game, joining Mike Gartner (Game 5 of 1990 Patrick Division Semifinals) and Steve Vickers (Game 5 of 1973 NHL Quarterfinals). He was also the third player in team history with three goals in a playoff period (Mark Messier, Game 6 of 1994 conference final; Wayne Gretzky, Game 4 of 1997 conference quarterfinals).

June 10th, 2025 @ 9:00 pm

the videos above are of cyclists showcasing the bike tunnels infrastructure built in bergen, norway (top vid) and zurich, switzerland (bottom vid).  i also watched this video about the one in zurich that made me LOL.  mannnn, some of europe is so progressive when it comes time to non-car infrastructure and we’re sitting here just screaming into the void about “bUt wHaT aBoUt ThE CaRs…” it in major US cities.

watching these made me soooooo envious.  i WISH we had this available to us in NYC, from where i live on the border of nassau county to the end of queens.  maybe to the 59th st bridge or to somewhere in brooklyn.  it severely pisses me off that we’re horribly lacking good, safe cycling infrastructure.  where i live, we have this stupid, ugly m@g@ C#NT (her name rhymes with schmuckie – oops, i mean schmickie schlmaladino) who seems to think we don’t need bike lanes over in these here parts, so we just get little to no protected bike lanes at all.  we get some painted icons of cyclists on the streets to indicate we’re allowed to be there, where drivers don’t want us, and where it’s not safe.

as a cyclist, nobody should be concerned whether i’m riding for commuting or for fun.  what the important thing here is, is SAFETY for all of us on bikes, no matter how we use them.

in the area where i live, there aren’t many designated areas to cycle safely off of streets.  the main one is the joe michael’s mile, which runs parallel to the cross island parkway off of a HEAVILY traveled northern blvd.  instead of us getting any type of safer options installed to get cyclists safely to the starting point of joe michael’s mile, we have to deal with some concrete barriers that drivers don’t respect, and THREE highway entrances and exits.  oh, but that’s not all…  we got some stupid day-lighting at the highway entrance ON THE SOUTH SIDE OF NORTHERN BLVD – OPPOSITE TO WHERE THE FUCKIN BIKE LANE IS… but i digress.

all of the side streets over here are terrible to ride on between it being extremely overcrowded with vehicles, people driving like complete psychopaths, 8 million uphill battles, the streets are constantly under construction or in terrible condition and well, i just don’t wanna have terrible stop and go cycling momentum.  i ride a single speed bike… if i have to constantly stop/start again, it just gets annoying.  it just makes me want to not ride unless it’s before sun up, and it’s hard to do that around my day to day living schedule (though i will start trying to get back into that groove again this summer).

my logical/common sense take for this post: NYC infrastructure for anything aside from the subway and cars/delivery trucks is just fucked at this point.  there’s nothing to do but build things elevated or to shut down some city streets and convert into biking/pedestrian areas (and that’s probably NEVER going to happen).  it’s too crowded here and there’s no room to do anything underground because there are other things underground.

read more…

June 8th, 2025 @ 4:20 pm

if i hear that fucking connie francis – pretty little baby song on instagram ONE MORE FUCKIN TIME i swear to satan, i’m gonna blow a gasket.

between that song, that horrible APT song and that anxiety song that samples gotye, i’m about to lose it.

May 30th, 2025 @ 7:24 pm

oh goody…  we’ve finally made it back to the shithole that is summer in the tri-state area.

i had to take a 15 min walk to my local staples today to take new passport photos and i wanted to puke by the time i got home.  i stopped off for a random ass iced coffee and it helped a bit, but damn.  i hate this shit.

my fat thighs were stuck together, i was balmy, my hair was down so it made me even warmer…  ick!

welp, here’s to hibernating every night for the next three months!

i can’t wait until the next 6 or 7 months of cool temps ♥ peez hurryyyyyyyyyyyyyyy.

#FUCKSUMMER

May 26th, 2025 @ 8:03 pm

i watched pee-wee as himself earlier this morning, and it’s 7:30PM and i can STILL feel my eyes are tired and puffy from crying.

there were so many points where i was also laughing, so don’t get it twisted that it’s just completely a sob fest.  seeing so much behind the scenes footage of what i grew up watching was amazing.

as an adult, seeing paul – how he really was – it was just wonderful.  he was BEAUTIFUL during his childhood and college years.  he was a free spirit – art pouring out of him – just being himself…  i wish the public would have just accepted him as he was so he didn’t have to live that horribly anonymous life.

it’s 2025 and we’re STILL struggling as LGBTQ+ folks to come out.  it’s just so frustrating.  these are our private lives that don’t affect our professional lives.  the media and the paps are fucking atrocious, and i’ll never forgive them for many things – this being a huge one.

i remember when i was little and he got arrested.  i don’t know if i really understood what was going on, but i also remember thinking it didn’t affect how i felt about him.  now as an adult, i am just pissed off.

paul went to an adult movie theater and there was an “unexpected police raid” like………….. seriously?  come on now.  someone was a fuckin rat (i hope they got a scorching case of herpes as karma).

WHO CARES THOOOOOOOOOOO?!

the man is allowed to have a free life outside of his damn job.  like, i get it, he had a kids show.  did he talk about that or force that type of homosexual content on us kids?  NO.  meanwhile, i didn’t see anyone protesting about miss yvonne having a simulated orgasm on a mechanical horse ride on pee wee’s playhouse (it’s not that likely the majority of us kids had any inkling of an idea of what was going on in that scene, but still – fucking bigoted, cis hypocrites).

anyway, i don’t want to spoil it at all, so i’ll stop here.  i just want to highly recommend it if you’re a fan of paul.

i love how much i noticed that he was such an influence on me and i didn’t even realize it.  collections of kitschy items, colourful things, the styles of art, how weird he was, his humor, his set interiors and the big adventure house…  it just is so me.  it really hit me watching this documentary.

i know he wasn’t a perfect person, but that wasn’t his job.  his job was to entertain us, inspire us kids to BE KIDS – weird and authentic and to express himself through his art, and he did a fine fucking job of it.

he aided in my creativity and my imagination growing up.  i will always appreciate that, and him.

long live pee-wee and paul reubens!

thank you for everything you created for us, paul.
♥ i will always love ya. ♥

May 22nd, 2025 @ 11:31 pm

one of my coworkers is friends with a famous NYC artist and her gallery is next to his.  ever since i started at work, we’ve always bonded over art, music and being native NYC nutsos.  when i was still going to the office every day, we’d stroll around midtown heckling tourists and slow sidewalk walkers together… she’s absolutely someone i could see myself turning into if i stay here.  she’s hysterical and one of my fave people at work, but i digress.

this friend of hers – i love his work.  i have been a fan for years and when she had mentioned him one day i was like ‘SCUSE MEEEEEEEE?! that is too cool.

i’m not gonna name drop him here, but i will say he may or may not have a very specific t-shirt that was on a famous HBO show recently.

anyway, she video called me from teams today at work – while i was wearing a freakin goo goo dolls shirt, plaid pj pants and snoopy socks with ratty 5 day old unwashed hair with no refreshes WITH HIM ON THE CALL, TOO

i was like oh come on, i look like poop and i’m wearing a goo goo dolls shirt – there goes my street cred, lmao.

i was asked to go hang out there at the gallery soon and i’m beyond flattered.  what a weird little life i lead sometimes.

May 18th, 2025 @ 4:14 pm

so i have to go get a new passport, since i’m outside of the renewal window and i don’t have a real ID/enhanced ID (and i’m flying within the next few months, so i have to get a secondary form of ID)… and i’m thinking to myself, “why don’t we have digital IDs or passports yet?”

the internet tells me it’s because it’s not secure (it would have to go by some sort of DNA metric – fingerprint, retina, face rec, etc.). – i’m sorry, are physical fingerprints not what police have gone by for decades? suddenly we’re picking and choosing when institutions and standards work?

okay well… wtf is secure then?

we’re born and get a social security number here in america… we actually give it out to others in our lives for various things.  how do i know how secure these various systems are?  most of the time we don’t even question it – yet here we are.

so a little piece of paper displaying my social security number and my number stored in some database someplace(s) – that’s not something i should be worried about, but a digital ID is?

why aren’t we giving out new, innovative digital things as humans are being born NOW?  give a social security card with a chip vs the paper card as the standard.  attach some type of 2fa or 3fa to it or something if applicable/possible (i realize some people are too poor to even have a phone)…  can we get out of the archaic times already?

* * *

also, it just goes to show how stupid we are at this point – where there’s no initiative to have something global – we all live ON THE SAME PLANET.  now i understand, we can’t trust anyone.  countries are pitted against other countries and always will be, there are corrupt idiots, hackers, thieves, egomaniac pieces of shit like our current “ruler”, wars, religious goons fighting for superiority which just keep wars going, etc. – is this is what’s holding up something like this?

this is 2025 and we all thought we’d have flying cars by now, but no – instead, we’re still just a bunch of fucking proud, greedy, selfish bozos, so we all can’t live in a god damn efficient place that makes sense to make our lives easier.

it’s infuriating.