October 11th, 2024 @ 6:21 pm

posted on : july 23rd, 2OO2 – at 4:23 p

i added a new dream. woOpie :] i think the only re-occuring dream i have is me having the ability to float. i’ve had so many floating dreams and the one you’ll read about today has been interpreted! (like you care, lol) but fainting has been translated like this: “to dream of fainting is a warning to stop and consider your frivolous ways and renounce the questionable associates you now call your friends.” hmm. kay. well, i’m very tired. and i need to eat before i have work, so if you’re visiting, i’m gonna be chattin in the tagboard at about 4:45 pm (very soon. oh, i got work so i can’t chat for too long… aiight.). see ya :]

October 11th, 2024 @ 5:23 pm

i miss the bosstones. i’m still mad at stupid dicky for being so dumb and weird…

October 11th, 2024 @ 11:59 am

i recently tried to re-watch wayward pines (hulu) because i couldn’t recall if i ever finished it or not (i still can’t remember if i finished season 1 fully, but some parts are vaguely familiar from season 1).  i LOVE blake crouch’s books — the wayward pines trilogy was so good.  i kind of recall when it premiered on tv and i was super excited that m. night shyamalan was directing the pilot and an executive producer.  the vibe of the books were suuuuuuper m. night, but i guess it just didn’t hit the mark for me.

i haven’t read the books in a decade, but i remember when the show first started, the first thing i noticed was that i was super turned off by the depiction of the abbies.  i suppose it would be hard to recreate what they look like in the book… but it turned me off.  towards the middle/end of season 1, the story from what i remember just completely deviates and i got confused and disinterested.  it didn’t help that some of the characters were off, too.

i didn’t really take matt dillon serious in the role of ethan, but i loved shannyn sossamon as the wife.  i really loved juliette lewis on the show, but then she left early on.

once i’m finished with my pile of books i have to read, i’m going to re-read those books, but holy heck was that show pewp.  i’m 4 episodes til the end and i kind of don’t even want to finish it, bc i know it got cancelled anyway.

i think if they would have just did one book per season, they could have made all 3 seasons.  i know it’s hard to translate books to shows and movies, and that they have to take some creative freedoms for longevity, but this one just really gave up.  what a disappointment.

i tried to watch dark matter on appleTV+ and i couldn’t really connect with it, either.  i read that book a while back – i should re-read and try to watch it again… again, THE CAST ♥ jennifer connelly is on that show and i totally see her being cast in his works as i read them.

i adore all of blake crouch’s books and he deserves better adaptations than this.  i think maybe movies could have been better than shows, but wtf do i know?

buy wayward pines:

book #1, book #2, book #3

September 27th, 2024 @ 7:19 pm

aaaaaaaaaaaand i’m back…  well, it was a nice two month break.

i don’t know why i feel guilty posting after i said i was giving my blog here a break or why i even care that i still blog.  sometimes it makes me feel weird because there’s barely a blog community anymore (i know there’s medium, but i think the last time i read a post on it, it wanted me to either sign up or pay or whatever and just… no).  i did just come across the bear platform, and i’m trying to get better about reading blogs (i didn’t set one up for myself there, i’m just reading).  either way, i need to just get over it already.  i do enjoy posting here sometimes and that’s okay.

when i took said break in july, it was directly after being, well, i dunno.  hurt?  betrayed (i say this mildly)? disrespected?  i don’t even know anymore.  honestly, it was a situation that was my own fault for trusting in someone that showed their true colours to me once and ignoring them.

i was angry, disgusted, confused, astonished… emotionally drained.  now i just smh at it whenever it crosses my mind.  humans are going to do what they want, no matter how it makes others feel.  i’m guilty of it from time to time, so i just get it and accept it…  it just sucks it happened with someone that i’ve known for ~25 years.  it sucks that it’s one of the last people on earth i’d ever imagine would do such a thing.

tigers don’t change their stripes, folks.
lesson learned.

anyway, at that point in time, i was just mentally TIRED.  it was a culmination of shit that just kept piling up and everything was annoying the shit out of me.  i FEEL like things have been a lot better recently (i mean, it is autumn – my faaaaaaaaave), but my life is still pretty stagnant (hey, maybe that’s what i need right now, who knows?).

one of my besties is moving out of NYC next week and i’m trying SO hard not to let her know how much i’m going to miss her.  she’s leaving NYC again (she too is a queens native) – and probably for good this time.  the thought of not having her within a half an hour’s distance or to meet up for last min ranger games irl just really bums me tf out.  we’ve hung out here and there over the years, but we’ve spent so much time together in the last year, that i just don’t know what i’m going to do with myself.  do you know how hard it is to find rad chicks that are into cool music and hockey (and my team)?! pfft… she’s a gem!

on the plus side, i’m going back to seattle this year!  this makes me REALLY happy, seeing as that i haven’t been there since october/november of 2021.  hockey is starting back up (even though being jamieless is going to bum me out, lauren’s been making more of an effort to try to get to games this year) and i have some cool concerts coming up.  i might even get back to florida in november, too.

hopefully the rest of this year is just… happy. ♥

September 7th, 2024 @ 8:43 pm

i know i said i was gonna quit this site, but i wish i knew how to quit you.

i’m having a nice saturday night.  i was supposed to go out with jamie and greek steve’s wifey tn, but they both cancelled at the last min… so instead, i got a brazilian wax, i got buzzed at outback by myself w some spicy ass mac n cheese and watched the mets game.  i came home, showered and moisturized myself and i ate an entire edible.  my plan is to watch napoleon dynamite high while in the nude… getting high and doing stuff is my new fave past time, since i missed out on decades worth.  so yah, saturdays in my 40s are fun.

i am turning 43 in 12 days and i couldn’t be more comfortable in my skin (and my bank account).  my social life could be better… but that’ll turn around soon enough.

i can’t wait for hockey to kick back in.

i loveeeeeeeeeee when summer is over… it’s like my entire world just rights itself.

anyway, i was thinking of my bday and i can’t believe how scared i was to turn 30, and here i am ENJOYING my 40s.  it’s so weird, lol.  so i dunno, maybe you’ll all have something to look forward to.

July 15th, 2024 @ 11:51 pm

i think i’m checking out of here for a while…  i dunno if i’ve outgrown this website officially yet or not, but it’s not fun anymore.  everyone is on a smartphone, i can’t be creative for desktop anymore and i haven’t been posting regularly.  if i still had a ton of friends that blogged or even wrote essays or SOMETHING creative, maybe i’d still be into this.

right now, i’d rather focus on real life than social media, being depressed about the news, worrying about the world falling apart, hating on gentrifying domestic transplants, being disappointed by shitty friends, trying to please people, being bored on twitter, etc. – i need to enjoy these decades that seemingly just fly by vs. caring too much about things i think are important to me, that no longer are.

this month, ten years ago, i was single.  i was losing my favorite human in the entire world (my aunt necie), i was living alone (well, with oscy boo), i was juggling a few morons in my dating pool, jaejess started dying off and i started UNRULEDclub, let’s not even talk about my sports teams that seemed so promising (le sigh), i had just started my job at CM the year before and i was getting my shit together, i was still hanging out with lauren regularly, i started hanging out with jamie and ricardo around this time, too…  so many positives, but it was still such a weird time in my life.  i was let down by yet another of my ex boyfriends (in shocking news) and it scarred me for a long while.

i’ve been through so much shit since then, but 10 years ago only feels like it was 2 years ago.  i can’t keep letting time fly by, or else i’ll be elderly and stuck.  i wanna be happy and i think i’m starting to want to just unplug and enjoy life.

i’m sick of meta/facebook/instgram suggested content bullshit, idiots on reddit, doom scrolling, getting pissed off at how women only seem to think iNfLuEnCeR is the way to succeed… i am so sick of viewing bullshit and feeling negativity.  i just want to be happy.  i want to be curled up with my boyfriend on our couch watching dumb movies, laughing, bonding and fucking for hours.

i don’t necessarily think all of us were happier in the days before smart phones, but it’s worth a shot.  i usually only go on twitter during work hours, but i think i might just quit it altogether.  i did it for months when shithead was still in the white house, and i might have to do it again.  i’ll never use tiktok FOH, and as for instagram, i absolutely can’t stand using that fucking app anymore.  the shoving 9 different features into one app is so annoying and i don’t even use them.

i don’t watch stories, i don’t scroll endlessly through reels – especially not ones my friends don’t post (i’ve legit never used that tab in the app), i don’t shop through IG – fuck those ad/shopping data farming asshats, there are 2 ads in a row sometimes, i mute everyone’s notes/stories and live alerts as soon as i follow them, i’ll never use threads… girl, all i want to view is fucking pictures and i can barely even do that – everyone is posting stupid fucking videos… then i get pissed when people add closed captions BECAUSE THEY ARE FUCKIN BUILT INTO IG BUT THEY ARE TOO STUPID TO REALIZE THIS AND ADD THEM TO THE VIDEO ITSELF ANYWAY…  mind you, they post on tiktok then also put it on IG… i just.. i’m tired.  maybe i’m just old and ornery, but i don’t care about anyyyyyyyyyyything recommended to me unless it’s by a friend.  our brains just process too much shit on a regular basis and i want out.

okay see, i went off on a tangent i shouldn’t have had to just bc i hate how much they changed instagram in the last 10 years, when i was talking about trying to better myself and my life.  holy fucking shit tho… i fucking hate facebook (/rant).

anyways, i don’t even know what to post on this site anymore.  music? hot people? art? my day?  the last 3 weeks have been unbelievably and astonishingly disappointing.  i am sick of people, i am sick of caring for people, i am sick of investing in people, i am sick of having to explain myself and my feelings to others, i’m sick of hypocrites and double standards… i’m just over it.  i don’t have the fucking energy anymore.  i’m 42, not in my late teens or my 20s anymore.  i don’t need drama in my life at this point, so aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaadios!

i know moving away doesn’t magically solve problems, but i am not just running away from problems and bringing them with me.  i’m just giving up and leaving the shitty ones behind.  i am holding onto being in queens for what fucking reason?  i would rather just start fresh somewhere else at this point.  hanging onto this sham of a memory of this place is just stupid.  i want to shed my skin and move on, as much as i love this place, it truly isn’t the same.

i miss the 80s and 90s because of my family, mostly.  i miss 80s and 90s queens for that reason a lot, too.  at the end of the day, a lot of them have died or moved away.  friends keep getting married/having kids and leaving me in the dust, some come and go as they please and well, some just do as they please, i’ve come to realize.  i know i’m not always the best at keeping up with people, but if they think i didn’t try my fucking hardest to keep us all together and happy on a semi-regular/regular basis, fuck em.

i’m done.

goodnight for now, knife party.

June 26th, 2024 @ 12:33 am

my mother texted me the other night telling me that she was watching a simon and garfunkel concert from the night i was born.  apparently it was in central park and it was free (it was a benefit concert).  the pair had apparently gone solo but got talked into doing this concert, and i think they went on a tour soon after, but they still weren’t really getting along, but i digress…

my mom was going on about how while she was FINALLY birthing me (the poor woman was in labor with me for two days straight), and how while she was in labor with me that they were just “singing away”.

i told her i wondered what song they were playing while i was being born and going by the start time of the concert and some wonderful genius who put timestamps on the youtube concert in full, i’ve come to the realization that i was born to the absolutely most appropriate S&G songs, lol.

concluded i was coming on down the birth canal to “the sound of silence” (LMAO – hello darkness, my old friend) and i was officially born to “late in the evening” (it was a reprise and the actual footage of this moment can be seen below).  i find it so appropriate that i was born just before 8PM while that way playing.

i LOVE how fucking happy the entire crowd was – everyone was clapping, dancing and moving.  if the timestamps are accurate AF, then i came out with the horns section of that closer.

i think it’s such a joyous way to think about how i came into the world… especially here in NYC, as a native.  i was born in queens while that concert was going on, in beautiful 60° autumn weather at an epic/legacy concert for central park and my city.  that honestly brings me so much fucking joy.  that concert in the park is an optimal stu activity and in my favorite weather…

i was recently talking about S&G and i’m so dumb… i honestly thought i didn’t know ANY songs by them, but i was very wrong.  i didn’t know about the one i was born to, and technically it’s a paul simon solo song, but i absolutely loved it off the bat.

June 4th, 2024 @ 3:43 pm

i feel like kurt would have hated this, but i love this so much.

not sure why he looks like kieran culkin in the thumbnail, but sure.

April 17th, 2024 @ 6:28 pm

March 31st, 2024 @ 11:31 pm

when i was a teenager, this was one of those staple albums for me.  i think i might even still have it, if my sister hasn’t jacked it from me.  this album reminds me so much of the summer my first love and i started dating.  most specifically — applebees in bay terrace and my old bedroom.  i rarely listen to this album anymore, but this song brings me right back to that time and it just melts my lil heart.  it was so broken and at the time, the lyrics “i’m in the background” were just so relevant.

he was a little bit older than me and ahead of me in life already – he left for college and came back, but started working at MTV and was doing rad things without me.  i couldn’t afford to do anything bc my mom couldn’t afford to give me fun money and she was working at night, so i couldn’t go out all that often bc i was watching my sister or i wasn’t allowed to be out late yet.  while he was doing cool stuff without me, i just felt so out of place, like i was more of a pain in the ass than someone that he loved and that made him happy.  it was so heartbreaking and i felt so stupid, lame and insignificant.  i couldn’t compete with his next phase in life… oh, them good old life lessons it puts on us, ey?

i know he didn’t mean to do that on purpose, but it was just the worst time.

lyrics:

the plans i make still have you in them
’cause you come swimming into view
and i’m hanging on your words
like i always used to do
the words they use so lightly
i only feel for you
i only know because i carry you around
in the background
i’m in the background

February 27th, 2024 @ 10:12 am

back in likeeee 2012, on one random afternoon in brooklyn, i was moseying around williamsburg with my ex and his family.  we went out for lunch and then were window shopping (le cringe).  we happened to step into some vintage boutique store, and while i was trying my hardest to find something to not make me loathe where i was (the hipster heartland of america), i found this babe, buried in the back of the store:

i nearly had a heart attack.  i thought i cracked the case of the missing bedford fafi (there wasn’t much to the story… it was painted, then stolen, then left outside somewhere and i don’t think they ever caught who did it)!  i immediately went to the front of the store to inquire whether or not they realized it was stolen/missing art.  it turned out that the owner of the boutique was actually friends with fafi and that it was dropped off there for safe keeping (and she ended up inheriting it).

this all happened in likeeeeeeee 2008, and while i was aware of the crime, i guess i had no idea that it was ever found.  back then, i was very tapped into street art, but we still relied on websites/blogs and mags vs social media for information.  finding that info wasn’t so obvious to me, seeing as that i still thought it was missing 4 years later, lol.

anyway, the owner of the boutique was none other than futura’s wife!  so the entire thing was an art world learning process for me, and i love that it ended up there.  it’s kind of funny how small this world is… especially here in NYC.

January 13th, 2024 @ 12:36 am

January 5th, 2024 @ 12:27 am

as i’m sitting here listening to nofx (malachi crunch), it struck me funny about how we had such a lack of information until the mid to late 90s.  we didn’t have google, we had chat rooms, tv/the news, teachers, friends and relatives to school us.  websites and search engines started popping up soon after the mid 90s, but it was very hard to obtain information (about basically EVERYTHING) before then.

finding out info on the ‘net as it was getting built up were magical lil moments.  my faves were when i’d stumbled upon info on my fave musicians/bands.

some examples:

pretty hate machine came out when i was like 9? my mom’s weird ex used to listen to it, and my sister and i used to make fun of him while listening to “head like a hole”.  i guess our palettes hadn’t fully formed for industrial music yet, bc not 4 years later, i fell in love with NIN and i had no idea it was the same group…  until i did.

i knew the song “mother” by danzig bc it was on mtv all the time.  it came out when i was about 7 or 8 and when i finally hit my teen years and got into punk and the misfits, i put two and two together when i learned glenny ol boy was the lead singer of the misfits and the same dude that performed “mother” anddddddd i was MIND BLOWN.

as a teenager, and the reason why i thought to post this, is bc when i met my first love, i was 15 going on 16.  he had just introduced me to punk rock proper, including NOFX.  i listened to some of their first albums here and there, but my favorite was always “i heard they suck live!!“, which is a live album.  when i got older and napster, kazaa and limewire surfaced, i became more familiar with their entire discography.  the first time i ever heard “el lay” vs. “east bay”, i was VERY confused.  they’re the same song but different lyrics on two different albums and exist simultaneously in the nofx world.  do you understand how confused i was with zero googling ability at age 16 or 17 trying to decipher that information? lol.

nofx also has different lyrics on IHTSL vs their actual studio albums and i STILL get all fucked up depending on which version i’m listening to.

it’s rare when i get to still have those discovery moments, but i do cherish all of em whenever they do happen. 🙂

December 18th, 2023 @ 2:59 pm

welp, i wrote this late last year and as we’re closing in on the end of 2023, i am now comparing what i wanted to where i am now.  i haven’t made much progress and that shit is ON ME. hey, i’m 42 and still learning.

this is my third most depressing time of year (new years being my first, summer being my second).  christmas hasn’t been the same since my aunt necie died, but this year has been especially hard because of the lack of oscy.  all of the oscy-free firsts are killing me…  i couldn’t even bear to put up my christmas tree this year.  i don’t even want to do anything this year, tbh.  i’m pulling myself up by the bootstraps for my mother, because i know she loves the holidays and well, she won’t be around forever…

i wanted this year to be so much better to me.  how stupid thinking it would come to me, lol.  in life, you have to go after the things you want and i didn’t have it in me this year (or in my bank account).  i’ve reeeeeally gotta stop wasting my time, though.

at the end of last year, i ended my relationship with my boyfriend of 8 years.  it was hard, but it had to be done.  settling and being on auto-pilot in a relation/friend/roomate-ship was absolutely not for me.  he’s not a bad guy, nothing big happened, we just aren’t meant to be.  we’re still living together bc this fucking city is so expensive — thankfully on different floors.  still, it’s eventually going to have to come to a point where we go.  i’d rather not deplete my savings in doing so, but it’ll have to happen in 2024 so that we can both fully move on.

the beginning of this year is when i lost oscy, and it threw me for a bad loop.  i was so depressed and i honestly didn’t want to do much of anything.  i am embarrassed to say that i barely even rode my bike this year.  between shitty weather, and me not being home a few times during key riding times for me, i couldn’t have steady workouts and i just stayed off of it.  i also have to replace my tires and i keep procrastinating.

since it’s all a blur and i barely posted on IG this year (compared to other years), i’ll go through my timeline and see wtf i’ve done, bc i don’t remember all of it.

read more…

December 11th, 2023 @ 3:56 pm

December 11th, 2023 @ 11:54 am

change is scary, but settling is worse.

November 21st, 2023 @ 10:09 pm

i would 10000000000% do this:

November 19th, 2023 @ 7:23 pm

for most love comes for free
they don’t pay the high cost of mental custody
i’ll pay bail for a guarantee
make space for me in the time yet to be…

excuuuuuuuuuuuuuse me!
(well, i’ve been waiting in line…)

November 17th, 2023 @ 7:10 pm

   

oh, james duval… one of the sexiest creatures i’ve ever laid my eyeballs upon.  his profile, those full lips i want to nibble on, that long hair, those dark eyes casting that gaze… oooooooooooooooof.  he even gets a pass with that goofy hair when he played a mod in SLC punk! (he looked so hot in a suit tho…)

♥ ♥ ♥ he’s so dark and dreeeeeeeeeeeeeamy ♥ ♥ ♥

i never like to think i have a type, but longer hair, nice lips and DARK brown eyes truly make the stu melt.

November 9th, 2023 @ 12:46 pm

all i ever wanted as a lil coming of age tween, was to see rl stine’s fear street books on film.  i knew every fear street book could be so good as a movie (or an episode?).  while reading through the pages of shadyside, i always saw them dark in my head.  not just because they were horror books, just most of my favorite ones had night settings.  of course there were parts of the book during the day, but overall, that was my takeaway.

back in 2010, sam raimi (all hail to the king, baby) was supposed to adapt “the sitter” into a movie, but it never actually happened.

then we got news that fear street was coming to netflix.  i reeeeeeeeeeeally thought that was finally gonna be it – but they made it a trilogy movie not based on a fear street book…  da fuq?

i didn’t HATE it, but that is not what us fear street die-hards wanted at all.

ffwd to 2023… we finally get another goosebumps adaptation (yes, again), but this version is darker – it seems like more for fear street kiddos than the goosebump age kiddos (i realize at this point, we’re all pushing late 30s/early 40s, but you know what i mean), which decided to jump off of the one-story-per-episode rails and gives us one story with the other books worked in.  DA FUQ?

the atmosphere of this one is right – the cinematography looks amazing, yet STILL we don’t get what we want.  why on earth would you make a goosebumps story basically into a fear street story AND COMPLETELY NEGLECT THE FEAR STREET FANS?

holy shit, rl stine – please help them get it right.

my fear is that with rl stine being 80, we’ll never get the correct version of what we want.  at least for the love of satan, please just give us silent night(s).  set in the 90s, believable writing, the 2023 goosebumps cinematography and JUST THE SILENT NIGHT STORY (or all of them, i wouldn’t be mad).  a movie, 3 part episodes, WHATEVER.

one summer, it legit took me like 4 hours to finish each fear street book i read.  you’re telling me you can’t consolidate that into one episode or a 2 pt. episode?

once you get one of them right, there are endless possibilities for the other books.  WHY IS IT SO HARRRRRD for these people?!

November 2nd, 2023 @ 7:09 pm

HAPPY BELATED HALLOWEEN!!!1  i decided to have this bad boy put on me this year, since i didn’t head out to seattle.  i can’t wait until this guy is healed.  he’s HUGE and hard to deal with during this healing period, woof.  i sat for almost 7 hours getting him.  i don’t know how, lol.

anyways, i’m prob gonna start stealing souls now, so watch out, muwahahahahahaha!  😛

October 29th, 2023 @ 10:52 pm

i actually managed to keep track of all of my horror movies i watched this month!  i didn’t really rate them or anything, but i figured it’d be nice to organize a main list here, leave some notes and whether i’d watch it again or not.

1. skinamarink – [original post] i remember seeing this advertised and i wanted to see this in the movies bc it looked so vintage and creepy, and i am so glad i didn’t.  i hated it.  my takeaway/interpretation was that it was like a sleep paralysis dream not executed properly.  i don’t know if it was a demon or entity or what… and it’s one of those subjective, theory movies.  not a fan of that take.  i would absolutely never watch this movie again.

2. suspiria (1977) – [original post] i didn’t LOVE this movie, but it spoke to me creatively.  it wasn’t scary enough for me and it was kind of slow.  in my original post, i noted how beautiful and visually inspiring i found it.  i would watch it again for the horror aspect, and i will definitely watch it again for visual inspo.

3. smile – [original post] this movie scared the shit out of me.  i haven’t been scared by a movie in a really long time…  not just the jump scares, but the worked up type of anxiety fear.  i would defffffffffffffffff watch this again, but not too late at night (lol).

4. the uninvited – [original post] i liked this movie overall, but i feel like the plot ended up being a tad lackluster for me, even if it was a good twist.  i think this is the type of movie that needs a second watch to truly make more sense.  i would watch this again, probably just for that reason, but not horror season repetitively.

5. jeepers creepers – [original post] while it’s a very frustrating movie to watch bc the characters are absolute boneheads, it’s a classic.  i’ve watched it a bunch of times and will continue to randomly through the years.

6. fright night – [original post] it’s an 80s cheeseball horror movie, love em!  of course i would watch it again.

7. hocus pocus – [original post] i’m giving it a pass as just a halloween season movie vs horror movie, but it’s a classic.  of course i would watch it again.

8. the dead zone – [original post] i do enjoy this movie, but i have to watch it like once per decade.  it’s a bit slow for me and i have to really be in the mood to watch it.  i would watch it again, as i normally do.

9. 1408 – [original post] i did like this one!  it gave me a bit of an anxiety, but i wish it was darker.  i don’t know if it was bc it was john cusak and i just don’t find him horror-y enough?  i would watch it again, but probably not regularly.

10. firestarter – [original post] i liked this one a lot – i have no idea how i managed to not watch it my entire life, but it’s something i could see watching once every other year in the rotation.

11. let’s scare jessica to death – [original post] i only watched this bc it had my name in it and i was randomly clicking around a streaming service in the horror section.  i hated this movie so much that i don’t even want to write about it again.  i wouldn’t watch this again.

12. the ring – [original post] this movie sort of a classic at this point, i enjoy it.  i would watch again.

13. the ring 2 – [original post] i still wish they just worked this story line into the original ring movie, but keeping it in mind while watching the first movie in the future, i probably won’t watch this again, even though i liked it.

14. we need to do something – [original post] i enjoyed this movie overall, but i didn’t love how slow/dragged out it was.  i would watch it again, though.  as noted in my original post, i was super stoned while watching it.  maybe it was just my brain (lol).

15. haunt – [original post] i kept avoiding this one in my streaming service’s rec list because it had a clown mask (i hate clowns), but i ended up watching it anyway and really liked it.  i will absolutely watch this again.

16. body bags – [original post] this and the next two movies are all living on my dvd shelf bc i love them.  this is a comfort horror movie and i will absolutely watch this repeatedly (again).

17. house of a 1000 corpses – [original post] i will absolutely watch this again.

18. silent hill –  [original post] this is a comfort horror movie and i will absolutely watch this repeatedly (again).

19. significant other – [original post] this was a rando movie i clicked while browsing the horror section of one of my streaming services.  i ended up loving it and i would absolutely watch this again.  i might even have to buy this on DVD, tbh.

20. phantasm – [original post] i don’t mind this movie, but it’s not one that i need to watch on a regular basis.  yeah, i would watch it again, but not for another couple or few years.

21. case 39 – [original post] i ended up liking this one, but MEH, i don’t know if i’d watch it on a regular horror-season basis.

22. talk to me – [original post] this movie frustrated me more than anything.  i don’t think i would watch this again (willingly, at least).

23. sanctuary – [original post] this turned out not to be a horror movie, but a psychological thriller.  i didn’t realize that while watching the entire thing bc i was waiting for a twist or something…  either way, i didn’t love it and i wouldn’t watch this one again.

24. the strangers – [original post] this movie is creepy AF and i have and will continue to watch it again (and again).

25. creep – [original post] i didn’t love this one, but i did enjoy the ending.  i enjoy found footage movies, but this one seemed overacted to me.  i don’t think i’ll watch this one again.

26. they live – [original post] it’s a classic… i watch this once every decade just so i can forget it and enjoy it all over again.  i would absolutely watch this again.

27. evil dead 2 – [original post] another classic go-to horror/comedy.  i haven’t watched in in ages, but it’s one of my fave horror movies.  i would absolutely watch this again.

28. when a stranger calls (remake) – [original post] while also noted in the original post, i would have rathed watched the original, but this one isn’t bad.  i will def watch it again, but it’s one of those movies i probably only want to watch once per decade.

29. the fog – [original post] i loved this one! i have no idea how i never saw it through the years, but it was great – a classic, creepy, 80s john carpenter jam.  i would absolutely watch this again.

30. dark night of the scarecrow – [original post] this was a random creeeeeper!  i clicked on it bc of the cover via one of the streaming services.  i liked it a lot and i could see this one being in the regular horror rotation.

31. the poughkeepsie tapes – i didn’t make a post for this one, since this is a master list… so this was the last thing i watched because i really thought i was going to be home in time to watch my usual viewing of halloweens 1-6, but my tattoo appt ran late.  i went out afterwards to eat so i didn’t keel over and die, but i digress.

i watched the poughkeepsie tapes bc my family is from there.  i thought it might have been a true story, so i wanted to creepy myself out on a local upstate level.  well, it wasn’t in fact true but the story itself wasn’t too bad… but watching this as my last horror movie kinda makes me feel like i fell flat.  anyways, it’s a fake documentary movie about some guy who keeps abducting/killing people.  your run-of-the-mill, gross serial killer.  it wasn’t anything to write home about.  i probably wouldn’t watch this again.

October 29th, 2023 @ 7:15 pm

caught up?! i’m actually AHEAD of schedule (it’s a rainy day, nothing to do but lay around and watch movies).

1. when a stranger calls (remake) – tl; dr: a teenager girl ends up babysitting two sick kids (they’re sleeping in their room when she arrives, so she doesn’t meet them) for a married couple.  they go out for the evening and leave her in this large modern house.  she starts getting phone calls with someone breathing and hanging up, and then he starts freaking her out by saying he can see her.  he keeps asking if she’s checked on the children…  her best friend stops by and tells her the garage was open after the house alarm was set off and doesn’t realize it actually went off for a reason.  i won’t spoil the rest.

while i would have much rather watched the original, i couldn’t find it on the streaming services that i utilize.  so i settled for this one.  i actually remembered not hating it, so i let it ride.

the original movie is super darker and carol kane plays such a good part.  it was before the days of cell phones too, which to me, adds an extra layer of creepy.

2. the fog – tl; dr: there is a small town in california that is turning 100 years old.  midnight rolls around and a fog starts to roll in and ghosts start doing well, violent, ghostly stuff.  apparently back in the day, the founders of this small town robbed a clipper ship of their gold and started the town with it.  there were 6 people said ghosts were coming for.  a few people start dying and this fog is CREEPY and takes over the town.  i won’t spoil the rest…

i have no idea how i’ve never seen this movie before, especially seeing as that it’s a john carpenter movie (?!), but i loved it.  i wish the ghosts looked creepier – maybe they should have had less detail… their glowing, red eyes were super creepy.  i know there’s a remake i might watch, just to see if the effects are any better… but this original one was really good.

side note: one of the main characters is a radio dj that works from a lighthouse.  there’s a moment where she ends up going on the roof of the structure to get away from the ghosts, and there’s a visual where she’s climbing up the roof and all you see are her hands and her nails scratch the roof while she struggles to get to the top.  a VERY similar scene exists in halloween 4, when rachel is on the roof of the house where they go for safety from michael, while she’s struggling to get to the top/pitch of the roof.  i wonder if it was a little homage…

3. dark night of the scarecrow – tl; dr: a mentally challenged man is close friends with a young girl in their rural town.  people seem to think the friendship is creepy and she ends up gets attacked by a dog while they’re playing.  the town ends up thinking she’s dead and that the mentally challenged man did it.  a group of goon/hick vigilantes decide they’re going to take matters into their own hands to avenge the girl.  they go to his mother’s house to find him and she says he’s not home.  she disguises him as a scarecrow and they shoot him to death, then immediately find out afterwards that the girl lived and that a dog did it.  the scarecrow starts appearing and handling revenge.  i’ll leave it at that.

i actually really liked this one and it turns out it was directed by the same guy as the entity, one of my top 3 scariest horror movies.  i’m glad i ended up clicking into this one, i almost passed it up.  it’s from the year i was born and was made for TV, which surprised me.  it was pretty creepy/dark for tv.

October 29th, 2023 @ 11:22 am

this morning, i woke up and considered giving in and watching all of the halloween franchise movies i love, but instead, i watched evil dead 2.  i haven’t watched it since the early 00s.  i forgot how much i love this movie.

tl;dr: ash and his gf go up to an abandoned cabin the woods.  ash decides to play a recording he finds on a player in the cabin and it starts reciting the book of the dead (the necronomicon).  apparently the family that owned the cabin included an archaeologist…  the recording summons a demon that ends up killing and possessing ash’s gf and ends up having to kill her.  he buries her in the woods right outside of the cabin.  he also becomes possessed, but it stops when the sun comes up.  he decides to leave but the bridge that leads you to the cabin is gone.  something chases him back into the cabin and at one point, he’s looking out the window into the woods and sees her body come up out from the site where he buried his gf.  he sees her decapitated body dancing and then her head pops up and eventually into the cabin and bites ash.  hilarity then ensues.

all of the dead that come back in this movie are referred to as deadites.

i will not spoil further, if you’ve not seen this movie.

FYI: this movie is like a reboot/remake, so the 1st and 2nd movies are very different.  it kinda makes no sense that ash goes back to the cabin that he’s already been through this shit through in…

if i remember correctly, sam raimi lost the rights to use anything from the first movie in this one.  it’s also a horror/comedy, where the first movie was just straight up horror.  most of the beginning of this movie is bruce campbell acting alone, and he’s hysterical and so good.  i mean, it’s not oscar-worthy acting, but man, was he talented, lol.  the dude fights his own possessed hand that beats the shit out of him.

it’s the 80s, so the effects are so creative and physical.  lots of funny fight scenes, blood everywhere, silly props… you know the deal.  out of that trilogy, evil dead 2 was always my fave.

October 28th, 2023 @ 8:20 pm

okay, now i’m only three movies behind.  i forgot to factor in that hockey is back on, and i am a fan of 3 teams… they all keep playing on the same day, too.

1. sanctuary – tl;dr: lemme just preface by saying i have no idea why whatever streaming service i watched this on said this was a horror movie (it was indeed listed in the horror section), but i am counting it bc i have been blindly clicking around into newer horror movies without reading any plots.  i waited for some horror shit to happen, but it never did.  this movie was a psychological thriller.

there’s a guy whose father died, who happened to be a hotel mogul.  he left the business to his son, but he’s a spoiled goon who can’t figure out his ass from his elbow.  he hires a girl to fulfill his degradation kink to get him off, but to also “prepare him for life” and make him a stronger person for his new role.  he tries to fire her and she comes back claiming he wouldn’t be who he was if it weren’t for her and her services.  he doesn’t want anything to do with it and they’re going back and forth throughout the movie in a power struggle.  i’ll leave it at that, if you’re interested.

2. the strangers – tl;dr: a couple is at a wedding and the plan is to stay at the boyfriend’s country home afterwards.  the boyfriend wants to propose marriage at the house, but does it at the wedding instead. she freaks out and they end up back at the house.  things are awkward, so he asks his friend to pick him up in the morning.  at around 4AM, there’s a knock at the door and it’s a girl asking for another girl that isn’t there and the boyfriend says it’s the wrong house.  the boyfriend leaves to go get the girlfriend cigarettes and the girl who came to the door is back.  the girlfriend reminds her she was already there and doesn’t let her in.  she notices the flue on the fireplace is closed and a smoke alarm goes off, she takes it down and notices little things – the alarm she put down moved.  she calls the boyfriend and the call gets cut short…  then she notices her phone is gone… someone ends up in the house.  the boyfriend comes home and she explains all of this to him and then everything starts to pick up.  i won’t spoil the rest, in case you haven’t seen it.

3. creep – tl; dr: this is a found footage movie by blumhouse.  there’s a videographer guy who gets hired by this other guy who allegedly has cancer.  he says he’s got a brain tumor and he wants to record a movie for his soon to be born son.  his “wife” isn’t present during the filming.  he starts acting really weird/creepy and keeps trying to jump scare the videographer, but acts like he’s doing it for fun.  at some point, the videographer is recording him while he confesses that he raped his wife and that’s why she’s pregnant.  the energy was already awkward, but it shifts it into high gear.  i won’t spoil the rest.

4. they live – tl; dr: this is a classic 80s horror flick.  this guy named nada (played by non other than roddy fuckin piper) ends up in LA looking for work.  he stumbles upon this work site and he’s asking for work, but the guy tells him it’s “union workers only”.  a guy helps him out, gives him work, shows him the ropes, then someone tells him there’s a place for him to stay after work, since you can’t sleep at the job site.  when he gets there, he sees a street preacher claiming “THEY” recruited rich goons to control the world.  this place isn’t like skid row, but it’s outside and there are others living there, too.  they end up having a TV and some “hacker” guy comes over the air warning people “THEY” are out to control people.  the cops destroy this area where the people are living.  the next day, nada climbs into a garbage truck with their stuff and manages to get one box and there is a pair of sunglasses in it.  he puts them on and starts seeing things in black and white and sees subliminal messages everywhere and people look like alien/skeletons.  people start to catch on that he can see them, and they report him.  he’s out to find the source of the messaging and wants to destroy it.  that’s what the hacker guy told them on the tv.

October 27th, 2023 @ 8:02 pm

i lost my lil oscy boo 9 long months ago and i’m STILL so tender.  i was at target last night and saw the hand soap that was in my house when he died…  i can never smell it again 🙁  then a few mins later, in the supermarket and looking down the pet aisle made me almost break down in tears.

when is it going to get easier? 🙁

i miss my little buddy so fucking much.

October 27th, 2023 @ 5:55 pm

the album cover for unknown pleasures is one of the most recognizable musical icons of our generation.  it’s also one of the most abused by cornballs who most likely don’t even listen to it, in line with the misfits skull, nirvana, and slayer shirts.  i have never owned a shirt with said cover on it, until i made a satirical version of it (i also made it into a series of wallpapers).

i have this thing where i can’t bring myself to do or wear certain things because of this.  i feel cliché about certain things… i couldn’t even bring myself to order cherry pie and coffee when i went to the RR diner in “twin peaks” irl (north bend, washington), ffs.

WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?! (lol)

anyways, i could not resist these bad boys.  now i have to suck it up and not worry about feeling this cliché feeling.

it also got me thinking about my top 5 joy division songs:

1. • a. ceremony – i’m not suuuuuuuuuper sure if this is allowed to count, since it wasn’t actually recorded by joy division fully/correctly.  by that, i mean there are 3 instances of it and ian isn’t clear on the lyrics in any of the 3, and then he committed suicide.  new order released it as their first single (EMOTIONS), but technically, it was written as a JD song.
   • b. incubation – this song always puts me in the best mood, no matter how pissed off i am.
2. love will tear us apart – yes yes, we all know and love this song.  there is no denying that it is beyond amazing, and of course it’s in my top 5.
3. a means to an end
4. shadowplay
5. transmission

October 27th, 2023 @ 9:06 am

UGH, I AM FOUR MOVIES BEHIND… tomorrow i shall catch up.  i’ve been re-watching twin peaks (including the return), so i’ve been busy.  i mean, it kinda counts?

anyways, last night, i watched “talk to me“, recommended by my cousin marie, who found it scary.  i did not… lol.

tl;dr: idiotic teenagers have a hand, which is casted allegedly over a psychic medium’s hand, that allows people to talk to the dead by means of (temporary) possession.  they have 90 seconds to get the spirit out before they take over the host, by removing the hand from the host’s hand.  at one point, the main characters throw a little get together at their house, where this one teenage GOON brings the hand and everyone takes turns with it.  just complete disrespect for the dead/spirits…  anyway, things get out of hand and i won’t spoil the rest.

October 24th, 2023 @ 3:33 pm

October 23rd, 2023 @ 2:15 pm

my sunday scaries horror movies:

1. significant other – tl;dr: a couple go camping in the PNW.  she’s anxious about camping in the woods w her boyfriend, but she does it anyway.  before they get to the trail, they stop off for burgers at a hole in the wall.  a kid working at the restaurant asks the girlfriend if she saw the red star fall (a shooting star you see at the beginning of the movie, followed by a like, tentacle that kills a deer).  they ignore the kid and go on their way.  when they get there, they setup camp.  he ends up taking her for a walk and proposes and she freaks out and says no.  the night gets awk.  she goes out to use the bathroom at night and sees a deer staring at her and freaks out.  the next day she goes for a walk and she finds a blue puddle in a cave.  they end up finding a dead deer that she swears was the one she saw the night before…  she asks him to propose again.  from there, shit gets WEIRD.  i won’t spoil it…  but i will say, i ended up really liking this movie.  part sci-fi, part horror, all PNW (♥ ♥ ♥).

2. phantasm – tl;dr: this is a horror movie from the late 70s.  kinda cheeseball, but entertaining.  there’s a mortician in town that’s SUS.  this guy is boning this chick and she kills him and everyone thinks he committed suicide.  his friend’s little brother is a nosy little shit and keeps spying on everyone and notices the mortician of the funeral place acting weird.  he was spying on one of the friends having sex with the same chick wearing purple and he gets caught spying.  he’s trying to tell everyone about the mortician lifting the entire casket by himself and acting weird, but the friend doesn’t believe him.  he sneaks into the mausoleum and gets chased out, but before he leaves, he shuts the door on the mortician guy and his fingers fall off.  they have that creepy yellow blood and he takes a finger home with him to prove he wasn’t lying.  once two of the guys see the finger (turned bug/creature), they decide they’re going to kill the mortician.  i won’t spoil the rest.

3. case 39 – tl;dr: i thought this one was going to be mislabeled as horror but was thriller, but i was wrong.  a social worker assigned to a child/family of a young girl realizes something is very wrong in the home.  the parents are pale and creepy and the kid is really quiet and acting weird.  the social worker is worried and stays on her case, even though she was told to leave it alone.  she thinks she’s being abused and might end up dead, bc the kid told her she heard them saying they were planning on killing her and sending her to hell.  the case worker ends up giving the kid her phone number and tells her to call if anything happens where she ends up scared.  i won’t spoil the rest, but what a twist.